#Amazing Info You Should Read Right Now!

name of site - hunter thompson style

1. Harvey Two-Face

So Matt Harvey dictates how many innings he’s going to pitch towards the end of the season…THEN said he didn’t want the ball to start the NLDS…THEN claims to have forgotten a mandatory practice because of ummm traffic.  Seems that Matt is more princess than Ace and his act is becoming tiresome in New York.  Just think if he pitches GAME 3 like he does against the Marlins – New York is no place to be when the pimps and C.H.U.D.S want a piece of you.  Be careful Harvey, you could be traded to the Rockies.


Jonathan Villar and George Springer (PHOTO: Al Bello/Getty Images)

2. Houston Has No Problem

The #MLBPostseason kicked off last night and the Houston Astros launched 2 bombs, both on 1st pitches, to beat the Yankees.  Eventually losing 3-0, it is the 3rd time the Yankees have been shut out at home in a winner-take-all post-season game.  We are watching the progression of MoneyBall with a team that likes to spend $$$.  Analytics has changed the way the manager and GM interact, situational awareness, player evaluation and is all over organization’s scouting reports – of course it doesn’t hurt when you’ve had the number 1 draft pick several years in a row – however, it makes watching the Astros compelling to watch – more so because up next is the Royals who play the game the complete opposite of the Long-Ball Astros.

  • 9 awesome things about the Astros The Astros will look to return to the World Series for the first time since 2005 and secure the first world championship in franchise history. They will open a five-game series against the Royals on Thursday in Kansas City.  Here are nine awesome things about the Houston Astros…(continue reading)

FILE - In this Sept. 9, 1969, file photo, a black cat stands in front of the Chicago Cub's dugout during the first inning of a baseball game against the New York Mets in New York. They were in New York, their lead over the Mets down to 1 1/2 games when a black cat crawled out of the Shea Stadium grandstand, looped once around Ron Santo in the on-deck circle, then stopped and stared at fiery manager Leo Durocher in the dugout for what seemed like an eternity. (AP Photo/Dave Pickoff, File)

3. From Cursed to First?

There’s another Wild Card game tonight and some say it is unfortunate that the Cubs and Pirates are playing so soon – those same people that say that, think these are the two best teams.  Maybe, but it doesn’t feel like somebody knows something we should know and we should go with that somebody – it feels like it has already been written.  The Cubs have a good team, but surely something will happen – it has to right?!  Let’s look deep into the crystal ball and remember…diddly-doo…diddly-doo…diddly-doo….

  • A sad-sack history: The Half-Dozen ‘Cubbiest’ Moments Ever – Cubs manager Joe Maddon says he doesn’t believe in ”any of that stuff.”  That’s easy for him to say, since Maddon wasn’t around for any of it.  But the goat curse, the black-cat curse, the curse of Bartman and all their mutations combined can’t explain the century-and-counting World Series drought, can it? (continue reading)

4. Houston Chronicles

The Houston Chronicle reports that the Texans will increase Arian Foster’s workload for his game against the Colts this Thursday.  They have to right?  Being 1-3 doesn’t leave you with many options – especially after a 27pt beat-down in Atlanta on Sunday.  A score that could have been a lot worse!  Houston has issues, issues that now include the QB position – as Brian Hoyer came in to assist with Texans getting any points at all.

So everyone is talking about Andrew Luck and the Colts escaped against the Jaguars and littering and littering and littering and…Sorry, Flashback.  So the Colts are -1.5pt favorite tomorrow night and everyone is all over the Colts.  Not so fast my friend!  There is a little stat that has been a family secret for decades that you’ll want to know about – the team that got beaten-down the worst the previous week, covers the next week 85% of the time!  Houston is at home, the family secret stat, Andrew Luck has a shoulder problem the Colts are now denying (Insider-Trading, tampering with the injury report, etc…) and the Thursday Night Home team rarely loses, unless the visitor is a superior team.  Nothing I have seen from the Colts says they are superior to the Texans – make mine Houston ALL-DAY baby!


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5. I’m Tiger Woods and Now I Have Cable

That ol’grey mare she aint what she used to be… and neither is Tiger.  If those were the women he was hanging around with in the beginning, no wonder he became a sex-addict – wooof!  But this photo was 19 years ago when Tiger won his first of 79 PGA events, beginning at the 1996 Las Vegas Invitational, defeating Davis Love III in a playoff.

A lot has changed since those salad-days and Coleman McDowell of Golf.com wants us to reminisce:

Major Winners

Masters: Nick Faldo (Augusta National)
U.S. Open: Steve Jones (Oakland Hills)
British Open: Tom Lehman (Royal Lytham & St. Annes)
PGA Championship: Mark Brooks (Valhalla Golf Club)

No. 1 Ranked Player

Greg Norman. The Shark was in the midst of a historic run atop the rankings. He took the No. 1 spot from Nick Price in June of 1995 and held on for almost two full years before ceding the top position to Tom Lehman in April of 1997 for all of one week. Norman would regain the top rank for two months before, guess who!, Tiger Woods took it from him for the first of his 11 runs as the world No. 1.

Tiger’s World Ranking

Entering the Las Vegas Invitational, Woods was ranked 221st in the World Rankings. After his win, he vaulted to 75th. Fast-forward to 2015, and Woods had tumbled down to 331st, his lowest year-end rank since 1995.

Purses

Woods didn’t crack $300,000 for his maiden victory. In comparison, Ben Martin won the 2015 Shriners Hospitals for Children Open (the same tournament as Tiger) and won $1.12 million. Jim Furyk won almost 50 percent of Woods’ earnings after withdrawing from the Tour Championship and claiming his 30th place winnings in the FedEx Cup playoffs.

Jordan Spieth’s Age

When Tiger had won his first event, Spieth had just turned three years old. Now, the 22-year-old has two major wins and is the heir apparent to Tiger.

 

Jason Day, #NFLPreseason and #TebowTime, Oh MY!

Jason Day did something, no one in Golf has ever done – finish -20 at a Major.  With a final round score of 67, Jason Day won the PGA Championship that was contested from start to finish.  So what did we learn?

We learned that Jason Day might have learned how to finish.  Before yesterday’s win, Day had been known as a really talented golfer that had yet to win.  He had come close on several occasions, with 9 top-10 finishes and three-runner ups, but struggled to get over the hump.  At the PGA, Day made the field chase him and still walked onto the 18th green with a three-stroke lead and the victory.cropped-logo_1260147_print-1-e14180934753933.png

We also learned that Jordan Speith is having one helluva season.  Speith came within one shot of making it into the playoffs at the British Open last month and three strokes from catching Day at the PGA Championship.  Speith’s run ranks up there with Ben Hogan in ’53 and Tiger Woods in ’00, when both golfers won 3 Majors.  Jordan is only 22, so the future looks bright.

Finally, we learned that Tiger Woods may never “be back”.  Tiger missed the cut for the third time in a row and never really got into sync.  Even he acknowledged he is struggling making putts.  But from what used to carry the tour in Tiger Woods, it is comforting to know that there is till plenty of star-power and drama these days that gives Golf a shot to withstand the loss of Tiger.


#TebowTime

Eagles backup QB Tim Tebow (11) dives into the end

After a two-year absence Tim Tebow returned to a football field to a standing-ovation from Eagles fans.  In fact, twice Tim had to quiet the crowd.  In what is likely Tebow’s final shot at being a NFL quarterback – Tim finished his day going 6-for-12, for 69yds, no TD’s or INT’s, but did run 4 times for 15yds and touchdown.

He seems to have improved since the last time we saw him – but still made some of the same mistakes that can not happen at the position – he held onto the ball to long and struggled reading coverages.  Some of that could be the O-Line at Philly, but all Tim has to do is beat Matt Barkley for the third string.  Barkley, by comparison was 12-for-20 for 192yds, 0 TD’s and 1 interception that was tipped at the line of scrimmage.

So maybe the issue for Tim is not necessarily that he wins the third-string job for the Eagles – it’s that he does enough improvement that he finds a different team he could join.  Either way #TebowTime is back and it’s fantastic, right Skip Bayless?!

2015-08-16-jameis-winston

Photo: Bruce Kluckhohn, USA TODAY Sports

Here are some other #NFLPreseason tidbits from Tom Pelissero of USA Today:

Jameis Winston said he wasn’t nervous before his first NFL preseason game.

“No, not nervous. Anxious,” the No. 1 overall draft pick in 2015 said after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ 26-16 loss to the Minnesota Vikings on Saturday night. “Of course, I have butterflies, but it is just because I want to do the right thing.”

Winston did that in spurts, recording his first completion on a 40-yard strike to Vincent Jackson and later leading the Bucs’ no-huddle offense to a touchdown against the Vikings’ reserves.

But the former Heisman Trophy winner also did his fair share of, in Bucs coach Lovie Smith’s words, “typical things that a rookie will do” on his way to a 9-for-19 passing performance (131 yards) with an interception, two mishandled snaps and several misfires.

At least now the first live game action — albeit with no game planning, no real atmosphere and no starters on the other side of the ball after a few series — is now behind them.

“Oh, it’s going to be pivotal I think for all of us,” Mariota said after the Titans’ 31-24 loss against the Atlanta Falcons. “I think that we can learn from our mistakes and get better from them.”

Injuries adding up

St. Louis Rams cornerback E.J. Gaines (foot), Minnesota Vikings right tackle Phil Loadholt (Achilles) and Washington tight ends Niles Paul (ankle) and Logan Paulsen (turf toe) are out for the season. Chicago Bears receiver Kevin White might be, too, after undergoing surgery for a stress fracture in his shin that landed him on reserve/physically unable to perform. Jacksonville Jaguars tight end Julius Thomas (fracture in hand) is out for the rest of the preseason. The list goes on, yet still almost a month before the real games begin.

Johnny Progress

The best sign for Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel: He seemed to be playing under control, using his feet to extend plays instead of just trying to run around. There was some vintage Johnny Football as he high-stepped away from oncoming rushers and scrambled for a 12-yard TD in the Browns’ loss to the Washington. Journeyman Josh McCown is entrenched as the starter for the time being, and that’s probably not a bad thing. Baby steps.

cropped-logo_1260147_print-1-e14180934753933.pngNothing final

The two primary quarterback competitions will last at least one more week. Brian Hoyer got the starter treatment for the Houston Texans: one series, a 58-yard touchdown pass and then a seat on the bench while Ryan Mallett went to work (and did it well). But coach Bill O’Brien said Mallett will start next week. Ditto in Buffalo, where coach Rex Ryan said Tyrod Taylor will get his shot next week after Matt Cassel started the exhibition opener. Former first-round pick EJ Manuel threw a 51-yard touchdown in that game and hasn’t been ruled out, either (at least not publicly).

Be like Barry?

New York Jets coach Todd Bowles is getting ahead of himself with the comparison to Barry Sanders’ quickness. But it’s easy to understand the sentiment after Detroit Lions running back Ameer Abdullah carved up Bowles’ defense on a 45-yard run. Abdullah was a workhorse at Nebraska and is putting himself in position for a big role while starter Joique Bell keeps working his way back from knee and Achilles surgeries. Added explosion on offense might be Detroit’s best hope for making up for the loss of all-pro defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh.

Down under

One of the NFL’s fascinating longshot stories got more interesting when former Australian rugby star Jarryd Hayne broke off a 53-yard run for the San Francisco 49ers. He has an unusual, upright running style and a lot to learn. But he figures to keep getting a long look on offense and in the return game.


Players Who Have Cleared Revocable Waivers

via  Major League Baseball Trade Rumors

MLBTR will continue to update this post as players reportedly clear revocable trade waivers, making it a running list of players that may be traded to any club in the season’s final two months. Player names are linked to the source articles, and this article can always be found under the MLBTR Features portion of the sidebar on the right side of the page.

First, several notes are in order. For one, many players have and will clear waivers without public reports revealing that status. (Some of them have already been traded, such as Mike Napoli.) Remember, also, that players must be acquired by August 31 to be eligible for their new team’s postseason roster. Click here for a further explanation of the August waiver and trade rules. And bear in mind that a player’s no-trade rights remain effective even if he clears waivers.

Last Updated: 8/14/2015

  • Jose Reyes, Rockies — The 32-year-old Reyes has struggled offensively since being dealt to the Rockies and has seen his defensive work take a hit over the past couple of seasons as well. He was still a very serviceable bat while playing with Toronto, though, and a departure from the artificial turf at the Rogers Centre could benefit his legs and back, perhaps even restoring some of his speed and range. Some have speculated on a potential move to second base for the former All-Star, who is owed about $54.37MM through the end of the 2017 season (as of Aug. 14).
  • Chase UtleyPhillies — Utley, 36, has produced at well below his typical rate for much of the year and just ended an extended DL stint. But he’s a highly-respected veteran, and the ankle issue could explain his struggles. Indeed, Utley has looked more like himself since returning to action. He’s owed about $4.5MM the rest of the way (as of Aug. 11), but the absence means that he won’t be a threat to trigger a vesting option for next year. For teams looking to bolster their options at second base down the stretch, Utley will surely hold appeal.
  • James Shields, Padres — The veteran hurler is in the first season of a four-year pact, making him an atypical trade candidate, but San Diego’s struggles and desire to clear payroll could see him dangled. There’s only about $2MM left to pay in 2015 (as of Aug. 11), but the deal is backloaded: it comes with $65MM in future guarantees (including the buyout on a $16MM option for 2019). The contract does have an opt-out after next season. Shields is already 33, and hasn’t been quite as good this season as in years past, but he’s still a durable and reliable arm who could help a lot of clubs.

Quick Hits

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The (unofficial) second half of the baseball season starts tonight with four of the six divisions up for grabs and could also come down to the wire – including second-wild-card-spots.  The trade deadline is July 31 (non-waiver) and August 31 (waiver) providing plenty of rumors for the next couple of weeks.  So, here are some compelling story-lines to follow during the second-half.

  1. Where does Cole Hamels go – again?
    1. It is likely that this time, Cole Hamels may not tip the scales on a playoff race but could strengthen a contender even further.  Cole is the only bargaining the Phillies have and it would be crazy if they didnt move him for more young talent for their $85m remaining investment.  Philly will likely have to pay some of that remaining salary for the top-tier talent they’ll want in return.  It would seem the Dodgers or the Cardinals would be the best place for him.
  2. What Division does Johnny Cueto decide?
    1. Johnny Cueto could be the tipping point in a number of playoff races.  However, because he will be a free-agent next year, the Reds will not be able to ask for what Cueto is worth.  Think about how much influence Cueto could have if he was traded to the AL East, AL West or anyone one of the contenders in the NL.
  3. Houston, do we have a problem?
    1. The team that surprised everyone in the first half is no longer in first.  At one point they had the best record in baseball and then July came and they have gone 3-8 so far.  George Springer broke his right wrist and Chris Carter is still hitting below .200.  This is the team that needs another starter to contend down the stretch – but you wonder if that is worth giving away prospects to try and win something that you are not ready for now.  I’d expect the Astros will not do anything drastic and maybe trade for mid-level value type guys that do not impact their farm-system or current roster – unless it’s Chris Carter.

 

Tiger Woods and Paul Azinger at the 2002 Ryder Cup

Paul Azinger does have a history of criticizing Tiger, like when he went off on Tiger back in 2012 for kicking a club on the 16th hole during the Masters – “Tiger’s antics this week were an embarrassment to the game, to the membership at Augusta,” – “I was really disappointed to see him carry on that way. He’s not trying to endear himself to anybody. And after he won Bay Hill I thought, ‘here we go again, this is going to be Tiger just kicking butt and taking names.’ I don’t know. I thought he acted like the south end of a northbound mule.”  

So, as history repeats itself and Tiger may have already played himself out of contention from the British Open ,like he did at the U.S., Azinger calls him a “middle-of-the-pack-hack”.  Tiger is 21 over par in his last 45 holes at major championships – so the assessment is not far off.  On the front-nine yesterday Tiger was 4-over-40 and later in the day chunked a chip shot.

You’d have thought Tiger showed some signs of life recently, when he shot a 7-under for the tournament at the Greenbriar Classic.  Now, it just seems like he is lost in his own head.  Maybe the booze, women-chasing, bad swing and all, has kidnapped the once and future king of golf – not that we care anymore because we are doing just fine playing DraftKings Fantasy Golf Millionaire Maker – how about Jordan Speith?!


 

Doc Rivers the GM is crazy.  The Clippers lose Matt Barnes, Spencer Hawes and Hedo Turkoglu, but gain Lance Stephenson, Paul Pierce and Josh Smith.  You know Kendrick Perkins is waiting for that phone call to join this insane asylum.  We might be the closest we have ever been to someone being murdered on the court.  At any moment someone could implode, explode or just go off the rails – this team was already combustible, averaging two technicals every 3 games and now you have Josh Smith and Lance Stephenson?  CP3 was so hard on DJ that he considered playing for Dallas for 96 hours.  The team has talent but no front-court depth – right now there is no back-up for DJ or Blake.  This disfunction junction is going to be awesome to watch next year and I cannot wait to see the over/under on CP3 meltdowns.

Augusta and Everything After

Speith on 15

Comparison is the thief of Joy  – We have written those words before and we write them again because again, the Media will be looking to compare this record-tying-performance to the man who made Golf relevant for the casual fan, Tiger Woods.  Instead of appreciating what a 21 yr old kid did across the 4-day event, we will instead be treated to the never-ending-blather about being, “the next big thing“.  We saw this next succession talk with Jordan and we see it every time another golfer wins a Major – is he the next Tiger?  No one is Tiger Woods, just like Tiger is not Jack – appreciate them for what they were/are – great for this moment.

Last Year Speith had a 2 shot lead and blew it to Bubba.  This year Spieth came out determined and became the first wire-to-wire champion since 1976.  Some of the records he now owns are: 36 hole record at -14, 54 hole record -16, most birdies for the tournament at 28, lowest opening round by a winner at 64, and the youngest player to lead after the opening round.  If you watch golf – you already know his name and know he is more surgical than blunt force – Spieth’s 28 birdies broke Phil Mickelson’s mark he set in 2001, (Phil finished tied for 2nd).

So what we know is Jordan Spieth is a Masters Champion and we also know that in his last four starts, Spieth has won twice and finished second twice.  Let’s see how it all plays out before we begin the coronation – afterall out of the last 20 Majors, at least 16 have been won by some guy that no one remembers – it’s like if a tree falls in the woods – without Tiger, is it still relevant? We’ll see.  Until then, let’s celebrate this accomplishment and congratulate Jordan Spieth at Augusta.


 

This is a photo of one of the pitchers in Saturday night’s baseball game between Bemidji State and Minnesota State.  If you have not heard by now Bemidji scored 20 runs off of 21 hits – during the same game, they scored 7 runs in an inning, twice.  During one of those innings, the game had to be delayed because of smoke.  Not from the Bats – from a car that had caught fire during their seven run sixth, causing smoke to billow over the field, stopping the game until it was resolved.  A wild game, that was more wild and was not done with wild moments.

Wild, because Minnesota State mercy-ruled Bemidji in the 8th inning.  That is not a typo.  The team that scored 20 runs, did not win – they were euthanized.  Minnesota State rang up 41 RUNS on 35 HITS – scoring a combined 24 runs in the 3rd and 8th innings alone.  Five players had four or more RBI and eight had at least three hits.  Bemidji trailed 22-18 after six – so they had a shot – only to see themselves outscored 19-2 before being mercy-ruled in the 8th.  I’m still shocked at the 35 hits producing 41 runs.

So much for everyone getting a trophy with their cupcake and orange slices – a man who carries a cat by the tail, learns a lesson in no other way – you rub some DiRT on it and get back out there.  Because  nothing is over until we decide it is – was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor – Hell No!


 

Lou Holtz, (the creepy ventriloquist puppet that sounds like daffy duck on Meth) is now gone from ESPN.  Mark May and the transcript writer could not be happier I’m assuming – the following is dictated not read – If you know what he says, let us know:


 

Those seats you see behind home plate are the batters box suite at Chase Field.  Those fans wearing all that D-Bag gear are actually Dodger fans who paid $3,000 to sit there.  If you believe that at that price point you can wear whatever you want – then Ken Kendrick, owner of the D-Bags, disagrees with you.  In Fact, he disagrees with you so much he demands that if you sit there, you must NEVER wear the other teams colors.  Kendrick offered the fans another suite if they preferred to remain in their Dodger gear, but when they chose to stay he bought them all D-Bag gear and a round of drinks for abiding by his policy.

Where does it say in the ticket agreement that you MUST abide?!  Where do you find this dress-code policy?  Do you have to wear shirts?  I ask because this is the same ballpark that has a swimming pool suite.  If I have to move to another suite, do I get a refund for my purchase?  I paid for those seats.  It seems as litigious as society can get, this is a ready made lawsuit waiting to happen.  I know someone in the area, that also has some Rockies gear – Maybe get some crowd-funding together and test Mr. Kendrick a little more.


 

…and now examples of a Good Save/Bad Save…

Good Save…George Springer

Bad Save…BU Goalie

Playin’ in the DiRT

www.katherineschuber.com

The 12th hole, called “Golden Bell,” is the second hole of Amen Corner and one of the most famous par 3’s in golf

Arnold Palmer once said about golf – Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening – and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. 

Next weekend millions will tune in to watch a golf course bloom in front of their eyes, while men with sticks curse or rejoice at the fractions that separate the winners from those that failed.  You’ll be watching.  We all will be watching in some way.  There is something about this course..this event…that calls to us like Walden Pond does to Thoreau.Fantasy Golf Millionaire Maker $2.2 Million

So how beautiful would it be to win money while you watched.  You’ve seen what fantasy has done to football and how it changed how you watch it.  You’ve seen how it influences your watching of basketball.  Now imagine what it can do when you watch The Masters and you see your team of golfers cross amen corner, live.

DraftKings is having their Millionaire Maker Fantasy Golf Tournament during The Masters, with the top prize being a $1,000,000.  Could that change your life?  Could that make watching The Masters more beautiful?  For $20, you could use your winnings to one day play at Augusta – see the course that has been described as heavenly, in person.  Sure it seems like a risk, (no more than playing the lottery or eating at McDonald’s) and I would add the issue is not the risk but the return of investment you will make, but only you can decide that. What would you have to realise about the Millionaire Maker to make your decision today – before it fills up?  We’re going to give it a go and see what happens ourselves.  We will already be watching – now we’ll have a little extra incentive on who wins.

All year DraftKings will be helping you enjoy more golf by having PGA tournaments for you to play along.  So when the Pro’s putt around The Old Course at St. Andrews, you’ll be there too.

Here’s how the scoring works:

  • Per Hole Scoring
    • Double Eagle (DBL EAG): +20 PTs
    • Eagle (EAG): +8 PTs
    • Birdie (BIR): +3 PTs
    • Par (PAR): +0.5 PTs
    • Bogey (BOG): -0.5 PTs
    • Double Bogey (DBL BOG): -1 PT
    • Worse than Double Bogey (WORSE DBL BOG): -1 PT

Tournament Finish Scoring

    • 1st: 30 PTs
    • 2nd: 20 PTs
    • 3rd: 18 PTs
    • 4th: 16 PTs
    • 5th: 14 PTs
    • 6th: 12 PTs
    • 7th: 10 PTs
    • 8th: 9 PTs
    • 9th: 8 PTs
    • 10th: 7 PTs
    • 11th–15th: 6 PTs
    • 16th–20th: 5 PTs
    • 21st–25th: 4 PTs
    • 26th–30th: 3 PTs
    • 31st–40th: 2 PTs
    • 41st-50th: 1 PTs

Streaks and Bonuses

    • Streak of 3 Birdies of Better (MAX 1 Per Round) (3+ BIR STRK): +3 PTs
    • Bogey Free Round (BOG FREE RD): +3 PTs
    • All 4 Rounds Under 70 Strokes (ALL 4 RDS UND 70): +5 PTs
    • Hole in One (HOLE IN ONE): +10 PTs

Scoring Notes: Ties for a finishing position will not reduce or average down points. For example, if 2 golfers tie for 3rd place, each will receive the 18 fantasy points for the 3rd place finish result. Playoff Holes will not count towards final scoring, with the exception of the “finishing position” scoring. For example, the golfer who wins the tournament will receive the sole award of 1st place points, but will not accrue points for their scoring result in the individual playoff holes.

Player Lock Notes: All golfers lock at the time the first golfer tees off on day 1 of an event.

Contest start times are subject to change. Please check for exact times within 24 hours of the event.

Beautiful courses, a beautiful game and DraftKings is providing you a beautiful experience to watch and win.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Quick and DiRTy (half) Dozen

Dropping Dimes

1.  In the Spirit of Mardi Gras: I offer this post for free, for missing yesterday

watch it live!

Mardi Gras is this Tuesday, so get all your sinnin’ in before you repent and bask in the triumph of the Holy Zombie 40 days later.  I am giving up listening to Pearl Jam for Lent, said no one ever.

Jesus’ Wife: “And where have YOU been for the past three days, Mr. Winemaker?”
Jesus Christ: “It’s okay, I’ll tell you…Not that’s important or anything, but I was DEAD!!! I’M IN A FUCKIN’ GRAVE OUTSIDE OF TOWN! I’M FIGHTIN’ DEATH, HELL, DECOMPOSURE! I’M CHANGIN’ SPIRITUAL FORM, ABOUT TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD, AND I GO “WAIT A SECOND! I GOTTA GO BACK BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHERE I’VE BEEN!”

Sam Kinison

You know what would be funny and show the world what kind whimsical bad-asses we are?  Instead of bombs, on Tuesday, we drop a load of Hot Dogs. #FU-Q-ISIS.

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!


2.

That’s the Chicago Way!

Start a nationwide investigation! Root out the corruption, butcher the peccary!  Adults are selling our children’s future.  It’s a sweatshop!  Why won’t anyone think of the children?! Is any team innocent in this shell game?

So let’s give a round of applause again for adults removing Big Gulps, removing the lucky charms from breakfast, and ruining childhood.  You know who you are.  You’re the parent that wails and shrieks at children playing a game.  Maybe berates the umpire when your little Johnny gets called out on strikes, never taking the bat off his shoulders.  You’re the parent who looks at your child as a meal ticket, raising them on television to believe that one day they’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but they won’t.

Ban every adult involved from any activity that children participate athletically – put them on the list.  The same list as the rest of the pedophiles and pimps.  Ironic that a team from Nevada accuses Chicago of gerrymandering, considering their long history together.  But does it really change what those kids accomplished?  Is four blocks outside of the radius cause for alarm? We have visual evidence of who won the US title.  They all have the memories that came with winning.  What if they won the LL World Series?  Would we really give the trophy to another country? My issue is how do we decide that Vegas now gets the trophy if JRW vacated wins?  Maybe Mone Davis’ team wins.  No one should have a claim, like no one won the National Championship in 2005.  Just give the Vegas-LL team an Associated Press Paperweight Trophy – that seemed to work just fine for USC.  The BCS Trophy for that year still rests in Baton Rouge – it’s a Win-Win!


3.

Told Ya…

Back in December we called out the Kings for Nepotism and since, they acted like they were just waiting for the Viagra to kick-in, to man-up and actually hire George Karl.

Ty Corbin is fired with a 20-27 record since holding George’s seat warm and has lost 12 of 14.  Still waiting on that plan they were talking about – did you get the email?

I’ll keep going on this – I’ll wager that the Kings move to Seattle (#GKHomecoming) – Sacramento is no Palm Springs – and further wager that Seattle wins their 2nd title before OKC wins their first.  Y’all just remember where you read it first, while watching the highlights on SportsCenter.


4. 

Played 9 holes of Golf yesterday, or as Tiger would call it – 3 women…

The last two weeks have been very disappointing to me, especially Torrey, because I never want to withdraw. Unfortunately, lately injuries have made that happen too often.

This latest injury is not related to my previous surgery. I am having daily physical therapy and I am feeling better every day.

Right now, I need a lot of work on my game, and to still spend time with the people that are important to me. My play, and scores, are not acceptable for tournament golf. Like I’ve said, I enter a tournament to compete at the highest level, and when I think I’m ready, I’ll be back. Next week I will practice at Medalist and at home getting ready for the rest of the year. I am committed to getting back to the pinnacle of my game. I’d like to play The Honda Classic—it’s a tournament in my hometown and it’s important to me—but I won’t be there unless my game is tournament-ready. That’s not fair to anyone. I do, however, expect to be playing again very soon.

I want to thank the fans in Phoenix and San Diego. They were amazing. I greatly appreciate everyone’s support.

Tiger Woods

Tiger has no confidence anymore and seems to be using injuries as a crutch.  He’s that guy we saw on the court – you know that guy that would miss a layup and limp back like his ankle was sprained – that is what Tiger is now – THAT GUY.  Maybe he’ll come back, but it is foolish for him to think that as he ages he’ll be anything we saw before.  He needs to come to grips with his mid-life crisis – or maybe he has to go back to starring in several instructional videos like: Triple Bogey in the Back 9, Backdoor-Putts or Booty-Shack – I do not know.  I am far from being the Golf Whisperer, but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn and believe that Sergio would give everything, to be any version of Tiger.


5.

Lebron James’ Fashion (S#*!) Show

I mean WTF?!  This cross-pollination of athletes/musicians/actors is getting to the point where we should all rise up and drown the bastards in the toilet.  The NBA has moved to not playing actual basketball for a while, and now we have proof of their 5-year-plan…Cripes! Enjoy All-Star Weekend Everyone!

Me At Basketball


6.

I’m not a racist jerk…

Oh Ritchie Incognito, no one cares in the NFL.  You can beat a woman, rape others, abuse children, kill a man and it all doesn’t matter in the NFL – as long as you can play – that’s all that matters.  Let those actions rise up and testify!

testify

Besides it was Rex Ryan who said at his press conference, “He wanted to build a bully!”  That made you the priority.

DiRT Nap

Jerry was a race car driver…

So Jeff sez he’s all done after this year and thats just one less dude we will know in the Great Game of Turning Left.  Can’t believe I did this…

Speaking of non-sports…

What the heck is going on in Golf?  Dustin has a Coke problem. Tiger’s missing a tooth. Lee Westwood saves a guy and Allenby’s clandestine kidnapping.

Tiger says it’s from a camera man – where’s the footage?  The bruise? But it is not as fishy as Robert Allenby being found by a homeless person, after being kidnapped, beaten, robbed and dumped in a park.  More like, I got drunk, bought a hooker, ran out of cialis, hit my head on a rock after fishing with Rob Konrad, and the FBI is on the case.  Now of course he says the details are not important – of course they arent when you envoke the “Taken” movies, and then say it was just some locals jealous of your celebrity – in Hawaii – jealous, of a golfer – not even your friends, that were with you at the winebar, noticed you were gone – so let’s not overstate your fame here Felicia.

New Boss, same as the old boss…

Wilin Rosario

So Wilin Rosario is still on this team and NOW management claims that he has really improved his 1st base and outfield skills…Huh? Say that again?  We now have a 3rd-team catcher AND at 1st base?  So the guy who has trouble with balls in the dirt behind the plate is capable of playing a position that requires shagging balls out of the dirt, plus he’s 5’11” and has shown no inclination of jumping over a credit card.  But HEY, they also said outfielder!

Are we really gonna place a cement mixer out in the spacious outfield of Coors Field just because he hits lefties pretty well?  Any pitcher with a breaking pitch strikes him out and I once saw him lose to an old-lady with a walker, truckin to first on a slow-roller to third.

So what management is really telling us, is what they have always told us and that is; they over-value/over-price their talent and from there, they can not find anyone to trade with.  So they make up some BS story about how hard he works and then further lie about making offers to Free-Agent Pitchers, that never happened – #JamesShields – just to make it seem like they actually DO something.  It shows that the front-office cannot admit mistakes for their evaluation of talent – then they try to hide it by being creative, trying them out at other positions – instead of DOING something.  You have Morneau at 1st and Ben Paulsen as a more than competent back-up – in the outfield, who are you gonna take out that Rosario is better than, we are in the NL and do not have a DH, so he becomes useless.

Oh wait, maybe he could take Charlie Blackmon’s spot because they have listened to trade offers on him and we clearly have no prospects better than Rosario to replace him.  But Charlie’s price-tag is probably a #1 or #2 starting pitcher – maybe thats why the Cubs stopped calling because they got Dexter Fowler cheap – Just another example of over-pricing/over-valuing talent, nor what to do with it – They’ll over-inflate 2nd and 3rd tier talent but when it comes to CarGo and Tulo they’ll take 3rd and 4th tier talent and sell us the merits of Angelina Jolie when all we get is a coked out Lindsay Lohan.  The Who were right, except we keep getting fooled…

Speaking of mistakes…

Miss Universe is on NBC this Sunday…so you have plenty of time to review the card and place a bet – to help smooth you over until then – here is Miss Germany; she has a dog that looks like an alien (im going with Alf) and her last name is pronounced “DONUT” – which is nice…

Germany 2014

Josefin Donat

 

NFL new head coaches: quick hits

John Fox: Goes to the Bears and brings Adam Gase (Broncos OC) and Vic Fangio (SF DC) with him.  What we know is that he will get that team, with/without “Jake” Cutler, to a competitive place – winning something of value will be a different story.  He is Dan Reeves, a good coach with unimpressive end results.  Fox is 30 games over .500 and has 2 Superbowl and 7 playoff appearances.  This is also the first time since the ’50’s that the Bears have hired a coach with prior experience.

Todd Bowles: Is the anti-Rex and seems to be the NFL’s flavor of the month as a coordinator.  He has only been a D-coordinator since 2012 and is now a Head Coach.  How patient will the Jets be while he learns on the job – but, he has established a solid start by bringing in former Head Coach and now Offensive Coordinator in Chan Gailey.  With what he accomplished in Arizona and their injuries, you can expect the Jets to still be relevant on the D-side of the ball.

Dan Quinn: Not a head coach yet but clearly the hiring of Kyle Shanahan as OC for the Falcons means that after the Superbowl an agreement has already been reached – wink, wink – Otherwise the Falcons are in a world of hurt if Dan is not the man.  The big question that we will have answered is how much influence did/does Dan Quinn have on the Seahawk D – for Atlanta’s sake it better be substantial.  That’ll be 3 out of 4 coaches in the NFC South that are D coordinators.

Jack Del Rio: Was decent for Jacksonville and will be a solid influence on the Raiders.  He is a defensive coach that could not stop Andrew Luck, as mentioned before here, or anyone when it really mattered, #Ravens.  Oakland has talent and needs someone to take them to the next level – Del Rio could help with one side of the ball – but his biggest problem will be offensively and he hired Bill Musgrave as his OC.  Musgrave’s philosophy is based on unimaginitive play-calling with a heavy focus on the run – for a team that does not have the personnel to run heavy – maybe he should have hired Mike Martz.

Rex Ryan: This guy is winning at the Bar.  He has done nothing as a head coach and it is surprising that the Bills hired him, considering that they have a complete dossier on him being in the same division all these years.  For a team that is questionable at QB just like his former team, Rex still brings his QB coach with him – how did that work out for Geno?  Your move EJ!  The D will be good and for Rex, he has no pressure in Buffalo – just make the playoffs once every 4 years and I’m sure they might name a street after you – the bar is low in Buffalo – Remember the K-Gun and Thermal.

Gary Kubiak: It’s just Kubes, being Kubes.  This seems like nothing more than nepotism and that’s fine – Kubiak is a good coach and this says more about after Peyton than right now.  If they can get to a Superbowl again then he will be annointed a patron saint of the l’orange.  What is weird is that if the rumors of a fallout with Fox and Elway were true, centered around run v pass; then this hire makes no sense, as Kubiak is a run first guy.  This could be the marriage that Elway wants to recreate when the Broncos last won(manipulated) the Superbowl with Shanahan. Fox=Reeves, Manning=Elway, Shanahan=Kubiak.

Jim Tomsula: Who? No one saw this coming and everyone just has to take some guys’ word for it, being a great hire.  The real problem seems to be, who is on his staff?  A lot of good people already have jobs, including talented people from the 49ers.  He may be a good coach, but without a proper staff, how is it gonna work?  Guess we’ll see – best a 49er fan can hope for is a wildcard next year, and after that, not much else.