DiRTy Plays Friday the 13th

March 13th, 2015

News & Notes:

Well it is Friday the 13th and so we wanted to do something a little different today as we look to kickoff the St. Patrick’s Day party with some NBA fun tonight.  Below you will find a Free Roll that we have put together with DraftKings that is designed for only beginners.  You can click on any game, banner or highlighted phrase to be taken to the proper location.  This means if you have NEVER played on Draftkings before tonight is your night.  It cost you nothing to enter and if you click here or just go to our DiRTy Plays Week of March 9th page we will tell you how to win at this contest.  Once you win some money tonight, come back and visit us next week as our lineup optimizer will be ready for you to use and not only will we will analyze your daily DiRTy plays for DraftKings but Fan Duel as well, we always provide insight into why you should stick with certain players.  We will be adding a new segment next week that will also outline some of those guys that you should shy away from and why that is so look for that new segment.  Now let us me show you how we are doing as we don’t just provide info we play too so yes, we put our money where our mouth is so you can trust our analysis and results thereafter.

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $2,557
  • Profit from the week of March 9ththus far is a total of $389.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.

Fan Duel Top Tournament Results from March 12th:

  • 310 (3460 of 22986) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won x2 (Late Night Contest)
  • 7 (10440 of 86206) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won x2 (NBA Swat)
  • 6 (20 of 181) – $25 Entry/$125 Won (Quintuple Up)
  • 7 (1071 of 11494) – $25 Entry/$55 Won (Super Slam)

***Won $190 gross, spent $60 and profited $130***

DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $503.57
  • Profit for the week of March 9th thus far is $39.42

Results from March 12th, 2015

  • 331 (699 of 38260) – $3 Entry/$12.17 Won (Sharpshooter Contest)

***Won $12.17 gross, spent $3 and profited $9.17***

Games to Play Tonight

Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.



1. Satchmo the Great called it

The game was billed, the Pope v President, Jazz v Blues, The Ditka Bowl, etc…and the men of the BigEasy held onto their hopes for the glorious tournament, too serve Beignets+Gumbeaux to weary travelers in the 1st round.  Aside from marching up and down Soldier Field, the real story is not about Gawd’s Army; the story is about da’Bears and how pathetic and poisonous the team has become. Someone give Jay(#SadKeanu) a snickers, (but would it help?)!  Godzilla seems pretty cool when he’s satisfied.  But instead of laying it all on Cutler(#JeffGeorge), I’m placing this on Management and the (not)coaching staff.  Nothing in Marc Trestman’s history demonstrated his ability to lead and be an effective coach(CFL?).  Trestman is an Offensive Coordinator and a Quarterback Coach who is unable to coach his quarterback, (#regressing).  Did he give off some powerful aura and show his ability to command a room in the interview?  He seems more Larry Coker than Butch Davis (#TheU-pt.2).  So when Trestman finds out that his O’coordinator has been leaking negative things to the press what does he do? Nothing.  The GM of the da’Bears says he was angry but deferred to the coach – ineptitude.  First, YOU are the GM of the franchise and the head coach reports to you.  Second, goes to Trestman; how is Kromer(#CrocodileTears, #GotCaught) not fired for insubordination?! Are there ANY leaders in the building?  The only leaders I see within the entire organization are 3 players that are hurt and one of them has his own crap to deal with trying to maintain an emotional balance.  If you owned this team would you FireSale the whole thing and clean house?  Would you ask(beg) Parcells to take over and be the OverSeer and go from there?  “The Snake must eat itself, before it is reborn” – is this the model da’Bears are going with (#ouroboros)?!

2. Comparison is the thief of joy ~ Theodore Roosevelt

You may have heard Tony Dungy compared Marcus Mariota to Aaron Rodgers and robbed us of the possibility of watching what Mariota could become without nonsense like that.  Rodgers has had a large chip on his shoulder since he was denied playing QB for Florida State (his dream): had to go to community college to play after contemplating quitting football for Law School – go to the only school that offered him a scholarship and was the QB the last time ‘Cal’ was relevant – to then watch Alex Smith being taken #1 by his home town team – then watch his stock drop in the draft just to sit behind Brett Favre for several years, who flirted as much with Jen Sterger as he did with retirement(#diQPix).  The point Tony is, Marcus has no chip – he’s been adored and placed in a system that has had him excel, (Akili Smith, David Carr, Joey Harrington, Kyle Boller, Johnny Manziel, etc..) and stands at being the #1 pick overall in this years draft.  It’s hard enough to be a quarterback in this league, let alone a great one like Rodgers without compounding the pressure.  Maybe Mariota has just a strong work ethic I dont know, I am not at practice and behind the scenes.  i know he won the Heisman Trophy and know he has yet to overcome the stigma that Oregon is soft and cannot beat good defensive pro-style teams.  More so, the comparison steals the joy away from watching the aerial-surgical-precision of Rodgers by saying a potential pro is going to be like him.  Let’s remember Tony Dungy is the man who constantly equates football success to righteousness.  The same talent evaluator who said RGIII was going to be better than Andrew Luck.  The same talent scout who said Tim Tebow would be a GREAT NFL QB.  Remember when he said that he would not draft Michael Sam?  Not because of his ability(lack of), but because of ALL the distractions he would cause.  You see the pattern in his beliefs towards talent, and it’s a shame.  It is shameful to prophesize based from a belief system and not from any critical evaluation of the projected potential of the player.  It is spiritual segregation and violates the shepherd principles from a former carpenter.  Tony you are already on television and do not need to “trend” to draw more sheep to your flock.  The flock already tunes into your rectitude.  Instead, you should use your pulpit to help those more like Michael Vick or those that suffer like your son.  Protestations towards athletic prowess based on their faith is ridiculous and clouds your judgment; more it makes you come off as a childs-birthday-clown and takes away from the good you do; as a Samaritan is supposed to.

3. It’s all relative. #Nepotism


Not quite what Einstein was referring to but we get the point.  The Sacramento Kings fired Mike Malone after a brief stint with the team.  A Team that is currently 11-13 and has been without Boogie Cousins for extended periods this year.  The same team that won 28 games last year and was projected for a ten-game improvement – “but hey come out and watch us retire Peja Stojakovic’s jersey because we couldnt find the right time to do it the last 8 years after trading him for Ron Artest in 2006”.  The Front Office is a den of whores who say the change was made because it was due to philosophical differences and a failure to meet ownership’s expectations.  Could we get a copy of those?  Round up the usual suspects!  I will not pretend to have any idea if Mike Malone is a good coach or not, but this is clearly more to do with Pete D’Alessandro (Ty is OUR coach NOW!) working with George Karl previously – who is available – healthy – wants to coach – team could make the playoffs.  So this shell-game that we are being given is nothing short of verbal masturbation.  Sports is DiRT-y business and is a lot like dating:  if they do it for you, they will do it to you.

4. One of these teams is not like the other…

Like Arizona last year (10-6) missing the playoffs, someone else is going home without any parting gifts or the home version.  The Eagles are in the most danger of missing the tournament but maintain hope.  However, it’s the NFL version of musical chairs and the following also have puckered mud-trumpets of possibly being left out: Detroit, Green Bay, Seattle and Dallas.  Arizona has already clinched at least a spot and the other goes to the champion of the NFC South.  Green Bay or Dallas would be Dickens-esque if you loved chaos, and spare us the uproar of NFC South winner, #blahblahblah.  Seattle was the most recent recipient of egregiousness going 7-9 (2010, first team ever) and the New Orleans Saints had to travel to The Great Northwest with an 11-5 record, (and lost) so it is far from new, (#RememberTheGiants!).

Later in the day or tomorrow we will break down the Sunday/Monday match-ups for week 15 in FanDuel.  2 of the 3 teams we threw out as potential lineup combos won.  We ourselves had another winning week with 4 of our 5 teams winning $$$ and our SundayNight/MondayNight lineup finished 1st overall!!!  If you have ideas or questions, let us know in the discussion section.

We’ve got to protect our phoney-baloney jobs gentlemen!

In your face, space coyote!

1. Geno and the Jets

at least he’s not Vinny Intercepta-verde

Like a Shallow Hal sequel, Geno is delusional.  Geno believes that being more consistent is all he needs. Geno said that he has shown flashes of pro-bowl-iness. Maybe that’s the gift of a part-time education at West Virginia.  Geno, under those criteria, I too just missed being drafted and playing centerfield for the Rockies. I too, missed the chance to star alongside Bruce Willis in DieHard 2(die harder) if only….It’s great you believe in yourself and more that you have the balls to say it, and those must be the biggest, brass-iest, swingin-est pair ever, if you think you are anything close to a pro-bowl caliber.  Since you play in New (jersey)York and New York is sometimes called Gotham, you should pay attention to the advice of Gotham’s most famous…”it’s not who you are underneath(or believe), it’s what you DO that defines you.” Einstein’s thoughts on insanity certainly apply to you right now.

2. Lifestyles of the Rich and (de)Generate

If you’re a degenerate gambler(for entertainment purposes only) like most of you I know, then you will appreciate knowing what side you should bet for the weekend.  Early next week I will have a Bowl-a-palooza-‘stravaganza that will outline the winners of such classic, inspired institutions of higher learning.  Bowl institutions like: The Emerald Nut Bowl, The Weed-Eater, something-something-Beef-O-Brady.  Here are the outcomes of week15 of the Not For Long:

Miami @ NE -7.5[opening line] – Miami won the first meeting down in the sweltering heat earlier in the year.  The DiRT sez NE wins the game, but the probability of covering the spread is low.  The right play would be to tease the Patriots and possibly the OVER.

GB @ Buf +6[opening line] – Buffalo has a good defense and the question is, is it enough the way Rodgers&co are playing lately?  Buffalo is at home so that gives them a chance.  The DiRT sez it’s going to be closer than the spread, and to stay away.  If you must, bet the UNDER. [Green Bay wins the game].

Oak @ KC -9.5[opening line] – KC got exposed on a moist Thursday night, but how much worse could it have been if Latavius had more than 3 carries before exiting with a concussed grape.  So now it’s the rematch and if you remove the whoopin’ the Raiders got in SaintLoo, they have a winning streak. KC is still in the hunt for the playoffs and will want some payback; however the DiRT sez KC wins but does not cover, bet Oak.

Jax @ Bal -12.5[opening line] – This seems simple right, Jax is not very good and a rookie QB who is struggling, going on the road?  Yet the Edgar Allen’s have a deficient secondary and no Hey-load-ee Not-gonna-play-no-more cloggin’ the middle.  The DiRT sez it might be closer than the line and to stay away.  If you must bet, tease the Ravens and the UNDER.  [Baltimore wins the game.]

Hou @ Ind -7[opening line] – Andrew Luck is on fire and throws that pig-bladder all over the yard, and especially to TY.  The DiRT sez that the Texans will need to round up a better D and run the rock to keep it close.  Indy wins the game but bet the OVER.

Pit @ Atl pk[opening line] – This is a classic tale of two teams and starring (possibly) Julio Jones.  If JJ can play this will be an entertaining shoot out.  The DiRT sez the Steelers win the game, as do the hopes of s(A)ints fans.

Cin @ Cle pk[opening line] – Let the era of Johnny Foos-ball begin, the ultimate wildcard.  The DiRT sez to stay away.  If you must bet, tease the Browns. [Cleveland should win the game.]

Was @ NYG -6.5[opening line] – The Giants D is good and does it really matter who is the QB for the Fightin’Americans?  I think Dan Snyder is trying out his impression of Al Davis.  The DiRT sez STAY AWAY and if you must bet, bet that there will be at least 2 INT’s.  Otherwise tease the UNDER. [New Jersey’s Giants win the game.]

TB @ Car -5.5[opening line] – Cam is gone and the kitties have a chance.  Derek Anderson lit up TB in the first game and you have to wonder if they care.  The DiRT sez this will likely be a FG goal game, so tease the Panthers. [Carolina-on-my-mind wins the game.]

NYJ @ Ten -2[opening line] – Man this game is bad and only those who have players in the fantasy-playoffs care.  Of course if you have any of these guys, how are you in the playoffs?  If you want to bet(for entertainment purposes only) this game then by all means, its your mortgage.  So if you must, The DiRT sez tease the OVER.  [Tennes-seein-is-believin wins the game.]

Den @ SD +3.5[opening line] – Denver has tried to get tougher and run the ball more lately and you have to wonder if it is throwing off Peyton’s rhythm.  Peyton struggles in San Diego(german for…) for some reason, and both teams are positioning themselves for the ‘offs. The DiRT sez Denver wins and covers the line, bet the Donkeys.

Min @ Det -7[opening line] – Detroit still has a shot at the division, but could they be looking ahead?  The DiRT sez this game will be closer than the number and to bet the UNDER and/or tease Detroit. [Detroit wins the game.]

SF @ Sea -3.5[opening line] – Is this the football-version of the Bataan Death March for Harbaugh and do his players care?  In another battle of Sparta v Persians, choose Sparta.  The DiRT sez Seattle wins the game but the hook could be the difference, so tease the ‘Hawks.

Dal @ Phi -3.5[opening line] – The Cowboys are already talking about how they struggle in December and they have to find ways to change that…huh? For Sunday night there is  a ton of factors to consider like; ReauxMeaux/Sanchize, DeMarco/LeSean, Chip/Jason, etc…Usually you’d want to go with the better coached team, especially when that team is at home.  The DiRT sez take Philly and the points on Nat’l TV.

NO @ Chi +3[opening line] – Uggh! 3 points on the road is a lot – but if the Saints’ D shows up like the last 2 times on the road AND if Jim-MAY stops playing like Charmin then the Saints cover – but Jay Cutler.  The DiRT sez stay away, but if you must bet tease the da’Bears. [Saints win the game].

Let me know your thoughts and good luck gambling for entertainment purposes only.