Monday Dreg

Kevin Love Says Kelly Olynyk Injured His Shoulder On Purpose 

1. Love lost between two teams?…

Movies have sure lied to us over the years about what to do with a dislocated shoulder – I always thought that you just slammed it back in and resumed ninja-chopping bad-guys – apparently for Kevin Love, it doesn’t work like that and I demand an investigation.

If you witnessed this game from the grassy knoll, then you saw what was at least, white-on-white-violence of a nonsense play from Kelly Olynyk in the first quarter – to, at worst, a full blown conspiracy with intent to dislocate – judge for yourself.  Intent seems to be the word the Cavaliers are using as Jae Crowder seemed to take the brunt of Cleveland’s backlash.  First, by JR Smith exhibiting a flagrant backhand that saw him ejected – then, secondly, Perkins giving him a cross-check – not ejected.  Olynyk owes that dude some beers for all that abuse – since he was held out of the game until the 4th, to avoid personal retaliation.

So for Cleveland their first series sweep is, more bitter than sweet, it’s bittersweet.  JR Smith is lost to a one-game suspension, and Kevin Love, who clearly never watched any Lethal Weapon movies, could be out two weeks.  That could be a huge difference if the Cavaliers have to face the Bulls before their trip to the Eastern Conference Finals – they will.  But before everyone got a trophy for participating, the NBA was a lot tougher – Hollywood never lied to us then and our basketball players were really given something to cry about – just ask Michael Jordan when he played Boston, New York, Detroit, etc…


Austin Rivers Plays The Game Of His Life, Clips-Spurs Tied At Two

2. To be the champ, you got to BEAT the Champ…

When you’re down to the defending champions and YOU NEED a “W”, you can’t just turn to anyone.  You got to find the guy on your bench you know, someone who has been thru it, WITH YOU, the highs AND the lows.  It’s time we make way and give the coaches’ kid the respect they deserve.  Thank You, Austin Rivers!  Thank you for your ability to play horribly for three years to finally getting a chance to play horribly on a good team that your Dad happens to coach – the odds were against you, but you pulled it off, somehow.

Austin saved his best game of his career to save the Clippers and tie the series with the Spurs.  In 17 minutes, Austin Rivers scored 16 points off the bench from a team that has none, to help them win, 114-105.  It is not often you say, out-loud, that Austin Rivers was the third best guard on the floor and you may never say it again.  Austin only missed one shot and it might be unfair to expect this level of performance – but if you are a fan of variance then, then this is your poster child and to him we salute you, under-achiever.


3. …No One Here Gets Out Alive…

This is a matchup that was hampered by injuries going in – the Trail Blazers without Wes Matthews and Arron Afflalo was out for two games – seems to be getting worse. The Grizzlies lost point guard Mike Conley in the third quarter after he took an elbow to the face from C.J. McCollum.

Other people that have seen time on the M*A*S*H* list include Portland backup center Chris Kaman and Memphis backup point guard Beno Udrih.  Injuries may mean more to these teams, than any other in the conference – because it appears that Memphis and Portland pushed in all their chips in the beginning of the season to make a deep run in the playoffs – only to be blown up, for falling short.

Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge and Jeff Green all have options to become free agents at the end and so the question begins with Aldridge.  Does he leave Portland because of an early exit sweep?  Does Gasol come back?  Next up for the Grizz would be the Warriors and they’ll need Conley healthy to have any chance.  At full strength this matchup, could have been a great one – instead it is  just another chapter of two teams that are good, but have yet to find whatever it is, to take that next step and time is running out for both.

4. So you’re telling me there’s a chance…

Is this the start of a series or just delaying the inevitable?  Last night the Mavericks chose to play this lineup for 18 minutes: JJ Barea, Al-Farouq Aminu, Monta Ellis, Tyson Chandler and Dirk and it paid off.  Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Dwight Howard couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat, going 3-13 from the line.

Finally it looked like the Mavericks were the hungrier team, doing the little things that limited the Rockets’ advantage from the bench.  So we have to ask ourselves – is this the Rockets taking a game off to clinch it at home, or a trend that extends?  The last thing the Rockets want is Dallas to have hope – we’ll know within the first 5 minutes, if this series is over and all hope is lost for Dallas.


5. Heroes of the Dorm

This is ESPN’s Sharknado!  If you just so happened to watch ESPN 2 last night, this is what you saw.  You were watching people play a video game, that is not even out yet, for a chance to win free tuition for the rest of your time in school – as long as you aren’t Tommy Boy.  This Multi-Online-Battle-Arena also had announcers and as you also might expect also had a reaction – all over the Twitter.

Now in case you forgot, ESPN stands for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network and for a network that has provided you quality programming like: watching guys play poker, watching guys eat lots of hot dogs, or watching guys play scrabble, then how is this not the next step of evolution?  It’s the First Letter!  Some people whined that this is the cause of ‘Murica‘s obesity problem, playing video games – like sitting on your a$$ watching sports somehow contributes less?  Think of it more like the evolution of competitive chess.

I think the problem is not so much the nerd-fiefdom – the war is over, geeks have won – it’s for a game no one knows about and isn’t out yet (June 2nd) – making it a brilliant marketing ploy on a night that no one watches ESPN 2 anyway – check the numbers.  If they had made it Halo, Call of Duty or Mario Kart -you likely would have had more of a positive response.  In a world where the biggest movies are from comic books, should we not be surprised it has taken this long to get video games on TV?  Everywhere else but here, these shows are huge hits – it makes sense for ESPN 2 to promote this, and break twitter – just like Sharknado did – it’s so bad it’s good – BTW, ASU’s Dream Team suffers brutal loss to California in Heroes of the Dorm championship

ESPN Airs Video Games, Twitter Freaks Out

ESPN Airs Video Games, Twitter Freaks Out

Clear as Mud

A spiraling helix that rockets downward at godless velocity is called a Vortex.  One that helixes straight up is a Tornado.  They may appear different, but to philosophers of Physics and Quantum Mechanics, they are both the same thing.

Both will kill you instantaneously.  The contrast between being inhaled by a bottomless sinkhole and getting engulfed in the air, still in your car and then bombed to the ground onto a freeway during rush-hour 6 miles away, is that your remains are more easily identified scattered on the freeway during rush hour and, stories will come out about your love of kitten calendars, while your familys’ insurance will be cancelled, for unexplained reasons of course.

“It’s got to be Genetic”, they’ll say.  “I heard he came from a family of hoarders and his mother was struck by lightning twice when she was pregnant, and his Uncle was killed in a cracker factory – that family is doomed.”

The upside of being consumed like a beer-bong at college into the earthly/watery void, is that your body disappears forever.  No questions, no mistaken assumptions or innuendo, every Coroner, investigation will have problems coming to terms with what happened…”It’s like he was flushed,” said a witness.  “It was the last time I saw him, such a tragedy.”  And that is how the lifetime movie starts.

All spirals natural/unnatural will get out of control now and then:  Witness the horrible and recent fate of Peyton Manning in the postseason – Not even Joe Montana was smart and sharp EVERY Sunday.

But hold on! I’m getting to the point of the story – which is the Cascading Corkscrew of Dumbness that threatens to drag us all down into the Mother of all homicidal whirlpools.  It is the Natural Law of the Market Economy that a rising tide lifts all boats (maybe 12 hrs) – and unless the terrestrial-orbit gets blown off its axis by some gung-ho douchebag who wants to “teach North Korea a lesson”, the same applies to Low Tides.

But it is the mutant tides that lead to disasters, and this eerie paradox of a guaranteed high-yield economy, has made even Dumb people richer and richer for the last 20years is categorically a mutant tide…Also a law of nature, is when too many dumb people get rich all at once, they will naturally rise to the top and making more and more of those executive decisions that impact the lives of more and more people. anyway….

Listening to Ray Lewis speak is an obvious example of the dumbness spiral in action.  But he is not alone.  Other examples are all around us from Ebola and Sony Pictures to Greg Anthony and the possible loss of our wifi.  We live in times of diminishing expectations and impulsive whimsy.  The point please?!

The financial success of Major League Baseball contradicts the whirlpool of support for younger generations. The game goes on, yet does anyone have faith in its American future…The level of desperation has sunk to instant replay’s, speeding the game up and banning the defensive shift, all in the name of offensive production.

It is far worse and dumb, for instance to think that offensive production is being limited by the defensive shift, or that it will make the game more exciting.  The shift has been around since the beginning of the game and the way to beat it is to be able to “hit ’em where they aint”.  Now Rob Manfred (new commissioner, 1st day yesterday) wants more offense – then lift the ban on steroids or any other PED – the issue isn’t the shift, it’s the ostriched response baseball had during the the last 20yrs that allowed average hitters to succeed, because they could get away with power to one area of the field.  Removing the shift rewards those that can’t hit to all fields, or bunt – There is a reason we have the Senior Circuit where real baseball is played and the other that was so pathetic scoring runs they had to defraud the game by allowing a DH – both leagues with a DH is more dumb.  Banning the defensive shift for the sake of offense is an idea from mealy-mouthed stooges who approach ideas like a bull in a china shop, caught firmly in the clutches of the whirlpool of stupidity.

Hizzoner hisself is talking about pressuring college football to move their playoffs because HE wants to expand the playoffs to 14 teams and he wants one of those games guaranteed to be on Monday night.  Funny thing about that is, ESPN is caught in the middle because of their contract with the CFP and the NFL.  The contract with the CFP is they must show the National Championship game on Monday night, preferably the second Monday in January, and all games must be on ESPN, (not any other affiliates, including ABC).  But because of the relationhip with the NFL and broadcasting Monday Night Football on ESPN (also only on ESPN, no affiliates), this causes friction if Hizzoner moves forward with playoff expansion, as it will conflict with the National Championship game.

ESPN has already reached out to the CFP, as has the NFL about changing the dates.  Usually the NFL gets what it wants, but I’m hoping someone holds their ground and makes the NFL work around someone else’s schedule.  I’d much rather see 2 of the top 4 college teams play for a title, then having to suffer watching the Browns play the Titans on Monday Night.  Add this idea to the whirlpool, and shouldn’t Hizzoner be thinking about more pressing issues in his league, before making changes based solely on money?