Thoughts on #SuperBowl50 in #Murica

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If you consider all the things about football, it’s the simple mistakes that might be the difference between winning or losing, particularly a Big game — read Playoffs, read esp. Super Bowl. We are talking about small failures, here — basic mechanical failures, mental errors and blind spots of memory. Foolish laziness that nobody noticed in the first three games of the year will loom gigantic in the playoffs. A simple dropped pass in the fourth quarter will haunt a football player for the rest of his life and cause him to scream in his sleep. Those things will never be forgotten.

Indeed. There are many cruel Rooms in the mansion, and many deep holes in the Road. Keep alert or get stabbed. Of all the shocks and pains that every football season brings, the worst of all is the ending of it. And that is what we face now — two Sunday’s from now, in fact, before the bell tolls. There will be no appeal, no extension, no replay. That will be the end of the football season, no matter who complains.

A few geeks will, of course. A few swine always do. No barrel is utterly clean. That would be atmospherically impossible, right? And rest assured that nothing on this Earth is 100 percent clean. Nothing…. Maybe you are one of those people who honestly believes that Cats are clean? I hope not, because you are saddling up for a serious fall. Cats are filthy, and they don’t mind passing it around. The smell of a large cat (as in Lion or Panther) at room temperature in a sea-level house is so powerful and so disorienting as to derail the human brain. The odor of a mountain lion in the wild is far more terrifying than the sight of the beast, even on a frozen night in the snow. It will literally “take your breath away” at 10 or even 20 yards. Your whole nervous system will seize up and be paralyzed, even your lungs. So stay away from all animals that are bigger than you are, especially at night when they are nervous. A brown bear will eat your whole body in 24 hours. Beware.

What? Why are we worrying about bears and cats at this time of year, days before the Super Bowl? I’ll tell you why: Because every time I think about Denver in the Superbowl and Football and Patriotism all at once, I think of Nixon and dangerous wild animals and his lust for power. Nixon was a football fan — and so am I, as it happens, and I can tell you from years of keen observation that us football fans have a way of getting together, no matter where we are.

There is nothing supernatural about it, but I have witnessed it happen over and over. Football fans share a universal language that cuts across many cultures and many personality types. A serious football fan is never alone. We are legion, and Football is often the only thing we have in common. We recognize each other instantly, even if we have to speak in sign language, or raised eyebrows. No doubt it has something to do with the gambling instinct, which is also universal.

The next time you find yourself in need of conversation in some backwoods foreign airport, as I have from time to time, take this tip and look around for the nearest public TV set that is tuned to a football game. That will be your oasis, no matter how long your layover may. You will get your questions answered.

Gaming is another universal language, along with simple mathematics, cold beer, and wild sex. Any traveler who is conversant in these tongues and football too will find friends in any town. Take my word for it.

It goes without saying, of course, that extreme behavior in all these lines is not recommended. Heavy drinking and berserk gambling among strangers will usually lead to trouble on the road, and you want to keep in mind that airport bars are no longer as tolerant as they used to be. Last year’s fun is today’s crime. Even tying your shoes in an airport could get you locked up.

It will not be long before all major airlines will require all passengers to disrobe and change into standard Hospital gowns before they board a plane. This is already in the planning stage, according to a lawyer from Albuquerque who also assures me that sleeping gas will be introduced later this year on flights of 40 minutes or longer. “The gas has already been market tested,” he said. “Passengers are heavily in favor of it.”

“What passengers?” I asked him. “Not football fans on their way to Santa Clara, I bet, or people who have to write speeches on airplanes.”

“There will be no exceptions,” he assured me. “Only uniformed soldiers and police officials licensed to carry concealed weapons.”

“That’s good,” I said. “I have a machine gun license.”

“Very funny,” he said. “Don’t push your luck these days. That’s why we have these new secret prisons.”

I hung up and crossed his name off my guest list for the Super Bowl. Nazis are not welcome at this party. They can’t be trusted.

So how about the Big Game, sport? Who is going to win?

Who indeed?! But if I were a betting man I would go with…Find out later,  I might even go double on it. Why not? It’s the last game of the year. I won’t lose….


The Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook released over nearly 400 prop bets for wagering. Click on the picture for a PDF with all of them, and enjoy.

Click for all PROP-BETS

Sediment-al

3 Strikes

1 – Football is and has always been a brutal sport.  It satiates our bloodlust.  It feeds the ancestral need to watch brutes maim each other in the Coliseum.  We watch more intently now, devour fantasy stats, play in leagues, play online and buy merchandise.  We obsess and have been consumed by a product that promotes violence, while we swivel away when that violence spills over into real world.  We watch fascinated, as young men mature up the ladder to hopefully play professional football – knowing the inherent risks involved – just for that chance at eternal glory the mob showers their heroes with – only to later bemoan their suffering.

The NFL has been called out for the cover-up of head trauma and parents have begun to opt out, not letting their sons play football.  The media acting as town crier, continues to signal the end of Pro-Football and yet the adoration advances.  Now we learn of several shocking retirements of players that still have treadlife – retiring because of injuries, or future health risks.  Patrick Willis having a Hall of Fame type career, betrayed by the pain in his feet.  Jake Locker retires after 4yrs in the league and joins Sydney Rice as players labeled with potential never realized.  However, Chris Borland, a Defensive Rookie of the Year candidate, was maybe the biggest surprise, retiring after one year and was looked at as the next man up after P.Willis – will the last man in the 49ers locker-room please turn off the lights…

The Town Crier is shouting, this is the beginning of the end for the NFL.  Calling this the tip of the iceberg for the League and too recognize how dangerous the game has become.  The NFL counters that concussions are down, and that may be true, but this is a sport built on the assumption of brutality.  One on one battles actually exist, bones are broken, blood is spilled, exotic sports cars conducting ballet with dump trucks and we love every minute of it – fall can not come soon enough.   But what of the product?  Will the cries of fervor and weekly campaigns of “think of the children,” against the league change how football is watched?  All the players that are retiring of injuries and fear of “after-football” will be replaced by others seeking idolatry – there will always be those willing to sacrifice themselves for our sanguine hunger for the adulation of hero worship.  But at what cost to the talent pool?  Do the better athletes migrate to other sports, that require less than the requisite pounds of flesh the NFL offers?  Baseball players live normal healthy lives “after-baseball,” receive pensions, and medical benefits that are the envy of every sport – you can play longer, make more money, but the globalization of the game of Baseball, adds more to the talent pool.

If we get to the point that talent will not play in our Coliseums – we will find others – maybe we continue with the convict philosophy the NFL seems to embrace, #RayRice, #GreggHardy, #AaronHernandez, etc…We will be entertained while our true gladiators will be those that we care the least about – the locked up dregs of society.  Or Elon Musk will develop robotic machines that play our games with an exploding football.  When you drop a pebble in a pond you get ripples – soon that ripple fills the whole pond.  This could be that moment and I say that ripple has started and will circumvent the whole NFL pond.  We will remember more what football used to be than what it has become.  Players will come and go, but our thirst will always exist and we will be forever hungry.


 

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2 – What we have done is develop a new way of thinking.  A new way to approach the way sports are looked at, and today we have new ways to play sports, with Daily Fantasy games.  We can now satisfy our urge to play arm-chair GM.  We have more tools at our disposal than our fathers did to predict outcomes, or know what players will perform more consistently.  This is what we work on.  This is what we offer and it is amazing.  Other sites, other prognosticators may shout louder, may have more followers at this time – but none of them can match our actual success.  Want Proof? We gave you Reggie Jackson yesterday as a notable and all he did was score 50+ in FanDuel.  We constantly come within +/- 2pts in our projections for the NBA.  We cash over 70% of our lineups in NBA Daily games.

We are still working to provide you an experience that will be unrivaled by any site.  Providing your own personal analytics, enough information for you to make the best decision possible and giving you the tools to continually be right more than 70%.  Look around.  There is NO ONE who can predict that level of accuracy, no matter how much smoke they blow.   According to VegasInsider.com, the best NFL handicapper was right 57% of the time – In college football, 61%.  We were right 72% in both the NFL and college for the year.  We gave you over 70% accuracy in the bowl games and with what we have built, we will improve on that.

It is great to have you here reading our information, using it – It can be very exciting to think about the results you are likely to generate.  We know you want to get the best results from our site, and we want to invite you, and your friends to join us – help build the best site out there.  In the future, we will provide more amazing analysis, and tools for you to research and learn how to make some extra cash following the sports you love.  For the remainder of March, we are offering several free offers of Platinum Membership to the first 15 people that send us their email via the contact page – with “I want the free Platinum Membership” in the comments.

Thank you again for reading.  Follow along with us in our attempt at the NCAA Tournament Bracket and see if we can beat 55% accuracy from the best college hoops handicapper listed on VegasInsider.com.


 

3 – Oh Rockies…You put out, for a national audience, your A-lineup.  The Angels, scrupulously countered with a journeyman pitcher, found in baseball’s independent league.  That’s the next level up from A-league Softball – or the more like the beer-league of baseball.  You would think we would have jumped on the guy, but no.  This is the Rockies and too often they demonstrate a lack of plate discipline or fundamentals, to hammer a guy who does not belong in the majors.  The Rockies were shut out and lost 11-0 to the not-in-Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.  Mike Trout smoked two home runs – 2-run and a 3-run jacks before he exited – Mike Trout 5, Rockies 0.

I know this is Spring Training.  I know it is Baseball’s version of pre-season and none of it matters, but when we will stop hearing the excuses.  Tulo, who went 0-2 made the comment that this beer-league pitcher just: “jumped on us.”  How does that happen? Why does that happen?  The guys pitching for our team are better than Capt.Softball and still got waxed by the Halos, giving up 11 runs.  We scored none. Nada. Zip. Squadoosh.  Are we already pretending this is a road trip?  Please tell me we will have meaningful baseball after July and not another year of excuses, like we have had the last 4yrs.

Clear as Mud

The Past is a statement, the Future a question.  Hopes rise and dreams flicker and die.  Love plans for tomorrow and the widowed think of yesterday.  Life is beautiful and living is hardship.  The sound of music flows down a dark street.  Like a tornado ripping thru your home and granting passage to a whole new world of colorful possibilities, only to realize it was all a delusion from the concussion you suffered because you rode your bike without a helmet – Ive seen it a hundred times.  Then the New Year began for the NFL.

Within 30min yesterday, the day moved from rumor and innuendo to surrealistic glee.  It was like watching a live chicken being dropped in a snake pit.  So with emancipated joy NFL GM’s traded away talent, signed perishable goods and threw fanbases off their bandwagons.  The Chipster trading Nick Foles for Sam Bradford and further having fans asking “whats up with that?”  The thing for me about Chip is this, he’s gonna succeed or drown doing it his way and you have to admire that.  Chip is channeling his inner Sinatra and good for him, but it’s hard to have faith in his conviction that X’s and O’s are better than Jimmy’s and Joe’s – scheme is cool Chipster, but players win titles.


Frank Gore, (#EagleForLife) gets cold-feet marrying Philly and agrees to sign with Indy so he can play once again with Andre JohnsonIndy also signed Trent Cole – Chipster?  Detroit replaces $uh (who still has not signed) with Ngata, in a trade with Baltimore.  Jake Locker retires?! 4 years into the league and what, the pressure of being a backup is too much?  Expect Jake to follow another Tennessee QB – Vince Young – and attempt a comeback down the road.

But the piece-de-resistance – is Mr. Stay-Puft himself.  You know the guy, his name is Jimmy, but plays like Jane on God’s Army – He acts like a WR, dreams of being a WR, but plays TE better than he played basketball – he tries to remind us of his hoop-dreams everytime he dunked a goal-post.  He has talent, but watching the league catch up to his limitations the last two years you realize the Saints never wanted to pay him that kind of lettuce for a guy who plays basketball better than he blocks.  That’s the statement that was made by the Saints yesterday – that and $$$ – but mostly having a guy on your roster that burned bridges with his contract talks, angering the Pope in the process, and wilting like a hothouse flower in big moments – jimmy’s down.  Jimmy wanted it to be basketball all time and anytime he was touched, wanted a foul called.  The Ginger Drake is just like Brie – appears tough on the outside, but with minimal effort, exposes a soft inside, best experienced with several crack-ahs.  So, goodbye Jimmy Graham – thanks for the memories – in your place we will have an actual WR run your routes, that is difficult to rub out, takes a hit and knows how to block – his name is Marques Colston……his name is Marques Colston……his name is Marques Colston……


 

Going undefeated in any conference is adamantium – going all the way is mythical.  Only a handful teams have done the wire-to-wire:

  1. 1956 San Francisco Dons, 29-0
  2. 1957 North Carolina Tar Heels, 32-0
  3. UCLA Bruins, 30-0
    1. 1964
    2. 1967
    3. 1972
    4. 1973
  4. 1976 Indiana Hoosiers, 32-0

and since 1976 a few teams have been undefeated, never to become mythical:

  1. 1979 Indiana St Sycamores 29-0
    1. lost to Michigan St in championship game
    2. Bird v Magic I
  2. 1991 UNLV Runnin’ Rebels 30-0
    1. lost to Duke in the Final Four
  3. 2004 St. Joseph’s Hawks 27-0
    1. lost in quarter-finals of A-10 conf.tournament
  4. 2014 Wichita St Shockers 34-0
    1. lost to Kentucky in round of 32

The point of this is to show Karmic Responsibility.  It’s a real disease that infects morons and idiots, with the greatest impact felt upon the teams they claim to root for.  We have seen an exponential increase of afflictions in recent years – i.e., dope#1 gets a tattoo on his foot with the Nationals winning the World Series this year – in March! – The Nationals are out.  We’ve seen lots of other dopes get tattoos (or other nonsense) for their team, so they can claim forever to the sycophantic brigade of idiots that HE knew it, CALLED it and got the tattoo to prove it – BEFORE it happened.  Al Bundy just got a tattoo to show the guys in No Ma’aM the game he had, when he scored 4 touchdowns

So where am I going with this? Kentucky.  The Blue-blooded program still haunted by Christian Laetner – the program whose fans believe it’s their divine right to be kings of the hardwood, regardless of how seldom they win it all – have misused their Karmic Responsibility.  Kentucky Uber Alles they claim and yet the team prints shirts 31-0, more to go – then fans launch a shirt into the atmosphere to mock the gods.  A mouth-breather gets a new license plate that says 40-0.  Even Calipari got involved by saying they might put the Lakers in their tournament bracket.

Oh how we forget Prometheus and the eternal torture – You do not lampoon winning titles – the gods will smite thee as they have always done – or have you forgotten 1992.  Your failure, Kentucky fan, gave rise to Duke!  That is your eternal-anchor, worn forever around your blue-blooded neck and still you shun your Karmic Responsibility to remain humble until after victory is quenched.

Mouth-breathers and knuckle-dusters are exposed on the digital-ether for eternity, like a flag-burner – we know who you are and what you’ve done.  Violators of sports-patriotism rise up from the muck and gain upright mobility, only to be slaughtered like the swine they are – it’s the Law of Mogis .  For Kentucky, they have the talent to win – they have the height – the length – the defensive wizardry – however they are susceptible to any team that has athletic big men and a team that rebounds for fast-break points.  Kentucky has improved shooting the ball, but the Karmic Wheel O’Justice spins for thee and the Gods demand their sacrifice – it will happen and in the worst way Kentucky fan.


 

Conference tournaments are in full swing and soon Selection Sunday secedes to Madness!  Again you will have a chance to earn more than you know what to do with – unless you have Mike Tyson tastes – by picking the perfect bracket – in the Billion-Dollar-Bracket Challenge.  Odds of getting a perfect bracket are 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 – that’s quintillion.

We will not claim we can help you with that – if we could, we would not assist you – but, we have been testing and tweaking our formulas in the conference tournaments, and so far we are in the 78% range of picking the winner SU – 63% against the spread.  So if you saw what we did for the college football bowl games and our overall gambling skills – for entertainment purposes only – you know this is where you need to be, to help fill out your brackets and show that jerk at the office he’s a poseur and couldn’t pick his nose with a 24k nose picker…Just don’t geaux and get a tattoo that reads “office pool winner 2015” or make t-shirts, because clearly you are who we talk about – YOU ARE THAT GUY.

In closing, do you ever remember when a few weeks of NBA basketball was this much fun to watch?  Maybe it’s more fun seeing your bankroll grow like ours has that really improves the flavah.  We work hard so you don’t have to — Play and win, it’s that simple.

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