What You Need To Know For Wednesday, Dec. 9 2015

name of site - hunter thompson style

Tombstone – 1993

1.

Tombstone, Arizona

When you have a huge spider bite on your arm that bleeds constantly, you begin to look at your own appendage in a morbid trance of disfigurement.  You cannot wear short sleeves, or at least shouldn’t, as to not arouse the locals.  The inner-voice never seems to quiet itself and causes a kind of internal chaos that makes you think of screeching animals descending all around you and your world is falling apart – like an earthquake in slow-motion – howls and curses, blowing horns and police sirens as a backdrop to something slowly dying.

Or at least that would be my impression of such a thing.  Much like the bombshell trade in name only with the Diamondbacks and Braves yesterday.  I say “in name only” because the mind jumps that Shelby Miller is a great pitcher and the D-backs have an impressive 1-2 punch with the earlier signing of Greinke.

Miller is being sold as an ace – he’s not – he’s a #3 on a team that has championship aspirations.  For Arizona, just because you HAVE aspirations, doesn’t mean you are championship material.  Here’s the problem with the trade Arizona fan should consider:  You traded away Inciarte and Dansby Swanson, the kind of prospect that could be dealt for an actual ace, who will not spend a lot of time in the minors, as an already polished college player from Vanderbilt.

My point is, if this is what they were willing to deal away because of the urgency felt to contend; then why not try for Jose Fernandez who is better and cheaper, or Sonny Gray.  it is reasonable to assume that the pitcher Arizona traded away, (Aaron Blair) could be the same pitcher they just traded with Atlanta for, except he’s cheaper and they would have him longer than the 3yrs they have Miller for.  Yes, prospects do not always pan out, and if the D-bags make the playoffs, or a World Series within the next three years, then maybe this deal ends up a push, is that enough to still be worth it, the future for 3 years?  What has the front-office done to earn that right to believe they have done nothing but get fleeced amongst the sound of something being killed.  Just ask San Diego.

2.

Matt Ryan Leaf

What happenned to this guy?  That’s the question several Falcons fans have been wondering for the last 6 weeks.  ESPN’s Vaughn McClure reported that Matt has been overwhelmed by Kyle Shanahan’s playbook.  There are times that it looks like Ryan Leaf is playing QB for the Falcons – it’s not that far of a stretch, they do look a lot like – Has Matt lost confidence?  Is his recent struggles a trend?  Does Atlanta look for a replacement?

I say we slow the roll and because I think it lies mostly with Kyle Shanahan.  For starters, give me the last QB that was successful under Kyle Shanahan – none and why is that, because he is a QB killer.  His play-calling is the worst – Devonta only has 14 carries for 50yds against Tampa, he fails to consistently get the ball to Julio Jones to let him dominate a game – like the Steelers let Antonio Brown do.  Julio is the only receiver on the team and you waste plays throwing to Roddy White who would still be a third option in Carolina.  Was it Matt Ryan that was supposed to stop Jameis Winston from his 3rd and 19 run for a first down?  Matt has made some mistakes for sure, but it is more than just him – average line, average talent, below-average play-caller with arrogant-entitlement issues.

So the writing is on the wall for Dan Quinn – do you want to be Mike Smith 2.0 or do you really want to bring a championship to the ol’Dirty.  Before Matt Ryan, Atlanta never had back-to-back winning seasons – with Matt Ryan, 5 straight.  For all Saints fans, the best thing for you to do Dan, is keep Kyle and get rid of Matty Ice.

read more here:

3.

Lords of Chaos

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

— Alfred Pennyworth (The Dark Knight)

Indeed and now we have a real and fantastic possibility to root for.  Cheering for the two best teams equates to fascism, hoping for a Jaguars/Eagles football championship is more democratic.  So join me on DJ Gallo’s wild ride of stink-i-tude as he dissects the beauty of such a possibility we all want, deep-deep down in the cockles of our hearts.

4.

West Coast Bias

The NCAA is a Rogue-Nation with its own agenda and has operated without accountability for decades.  Take the matter of USC and a recent court ruling calling into question how the NCAA Cartel enforces the institutions it is mutually charged with overseeing.  The court ruling is just another abusive-self-induced black eye that sheds light on the questionable gestappo tactics and decisions the NCAA has used in other cases like Penn St or Miami.

Someday in our lifetime, the NCAA will be gone and something that will truly represent what college athletics could be.  But not until the pimps, (coaches) are punished for their actual crimes as CEO over a free-labor force that generates them millions of dollars without consequences.  It’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.

5.

Spurs of the Moment

The Spurs love the Warriors.  All the attention is on Golden State, as it should be, but while the spotlight blinds, the Spurs are currently 18-4.  As Hunter Felt explains, the Spurs wouldn’t want this flight under the radar any other way – here’s to a healthy Warriors/Spurs Western Conference Finals!

LeBron James has endorsed Nike since signing with the brand in 2003.
6.

“You’re Welcome” – Michael Jordan

LeBron James will be in the Nike stable for the rest of his basketball career — and beyond.

The world’s largest sporting goods company Monday signed the four-time NBA MVP to an unprecedented lifetime contract. Terms of the deal weren’t released, but sports agent David Falk, who represented Michael Jordan for most of his playing career, estimated its value at $400 million to $500 million.……(continue reading)

Source: LeBron James Signs Unprecedented Lifetime Deal With Nike

Weekend Update: Another #Football Monday

Bullet Points

1. Nice way to get your 400th TD

So that’s what a walk-off homerun looks like in the NFL…Overtime lasted only 13 seconds.  That is 1 second faster than the previous regular-season-record-holder, when Chad Morton returned a kick-off 96 yards for the Jets to beat Buffalo back in September 2002.  The fastest?  That was also from a saint – Saint Tebow, when he threw to Demariyus Thomas to beat Pittsburgh in the playoffs, in only 11 seconds.  It was the first overtime touchdown pass of Brees’s career, and only the second ever by a Saints quarterback. Back in 1998, Danny Wuerffel and Cameron Cleeland combined for a 33-yard overtime touchdown that beat Indianapolis, 19-13, leaving the Colts’ rookie quarterback Peyton Manning still looking for his first NFL victory. That made the Saints head coach very happy — a fellow named Mike Ditka.


Getty Images

2. Texas Strong

In the history of word association, no one has ever confused “delusional” with Texas Longhorn fans.  Yet, here they are again.  Longhorn fan forgets when Colorado and Nebraska saved them, when they included them into the Big 8.  Longhorn fan believed that they were the gift of college football and their arrogance alienated Texas A&M to move to a superior conference – taking with them the status of #1 program in the state – Baylor and TCU might disagree – but the point is, for years Texas bullied everyone and their arrogance has finally caught up to them.  Texas thought they would always get the top recruits, the top coach and when they actually have a coach that is willing to rebuild their burnt-orange luster in the correct way – they lose their minds


3. It’s still about Jimmy’s and Joe’s, not X’s and O’s

In the beginning, all we heard was how the Chipster was going to revolutionize the game with his offense.  It’s hard to argue against that it didn’t work.  Chip did win 10 games in his first two years as a head coach in the NFL.  But now Demarco Murray is unhappy with his role  and there is nothing that says to me that Chip lasts past this year, if things continue.  For a fanbase that booed Santa Claus and has never been known as rational, as it looks today, will not be able to tolerate Mr.Kelly any longer.


4. Stone Cold Dan Quinn

It is a dangerous thing for a Saints fan to witness the difference Dan Quinn has made.  He has the entire city and more importantly, the team believing in themselves.  The Falcons already had the best wide receiver in Julio Jones, but now they seem to be able to run the ball.  Watching Devonta Freeman under Mike Smith, is not the same kid you see now.  When Devonta Freeman scored three touchdowns for the second consecutive week – Freeman became the first player since LaDainian Tomlinson to score 3TD’s in two straight games – L.T. had a 3-game streak in 2006 – but, what says more about it is, Devonta became the 1st Falcon, ever, with consecutive 3-TD games of any kind.  the Falcons are 4-0 and have such an easy schedule that it might remind Atlanta fans of baseball, waiting for the post-season to start.


#ByeFelicia

5. Squished Fish?

It’s no secret, I think Joe’s gotta go, and as bad he has been as a leader, a coach…I say it’s not all his fault.  I lay at least half of the blame at Steve Ross.  You Steve hired Joe and retained him last year.  Remember when you said you really like the way this team plays and where they are headed – and we said this:

Huh? say that again? A close win against the Vikings gives you this feeling that, this team, this coach, is headed in the right direction?  Is mediocrity a direction, and do you travel thru Miami now(not Dallas this year) to get there?  Standards have been lowered or the owner is still intoxicated from that win early in the year – at home – against the Patriots.  Bet we still see Philbin fired before the end of the 2016.

So now, after OVER-spending for $uh and giving Tannehill a huge contract extension – you think that Sunday’s performance was the final straw?  Mr.Ross, you can and should fire Philbin – but it still doesn’t change the mediocre empire you’re in-charge of until you fire yourself! —(UPDATE: PHILBIN HAS BEEN FIRED)

  • Joe Philbin must show fire, better leadership to save job. – the Miami Dolphins are sinking fast after a 1-3 start.  They entered the season with playoff expectations, but nearly all of that optimism is gone after three straight losses by a combined score of 91-48.  Can the season be salvaged?……(continue reading)

6. Squidward’s Folly

Xerxes, Where have you gone?!  It didn’t seem that long ago that people like Trent Dilfer and Ron Jaworski were annointing Kaepernick the greatest QB of all time – a game changer at the position, blah blah blah.  Maybe there was more to Harbaugh than just wins – or maybe Xerxes just decided that he was as good as all that press and no longer needed to study or look for his 2nd and 3rd reads, etc…Either way, this top-to-bottom-organizational-implosion is entertaining to watch – from Tomsula letting one fly in a press conference to the constant dumpster-fire that is the 49ers right now.

Are These the Uniforms Worn to a Funeral?

Magic Bullets:

#1 – meh

The uniforms look like something you’d wear at a funeral, or as a waiter at a really bad sports bar trying to class-up the joint from all the mouth-breathers who order a basket of fries and a diet coke, to sit their all day – I’ve seen it a hundred times…But, the ‘9ers did win and kept the Vikings from getting into the endzone, winning the game 20-3.

The game was like watching someone play Madden against their little brother and seeing Carlos Hyde left – Carlos Hyde right – Carlos Hyde scores, with a dash of a pass here and there, just so the little brother knows you can.  It was the only takeaway from the game – that and Adrian Peterson.  I guess people forgot A.P. did not play last year, or assumed that he’d just pick up where he left off, but he’s 30 and he needs his sea-legs.  A.P. still drug a few defenders downfield as a glimpse, but the real surprise was the ‘9ers D – it was legit all night.


#2 – uh-oh

What I saw in the first game is this: Julio Jones is a bad Mutha..shut your mouth…but I’m talking about Jones – actually I knew that already, and if he’s healthy, he’s the best WR out there.

No, No, what I saw was a Falcons D I haven’t seen before, it was if they were angry AND had a plan.  The Offense will score points, and if the defense plays with that intensity the rest of the way, it’s their division to lose.  Sure, Atlanta has weaknesses on the O-line and running the football, and that could be their achilles heel – just like we saw last night against the Eagles.  The ability to sustain drives to eat the clock, makes running the ball, critical – meaning, Atlanta will be in shoot-outs all year if they cannot fix that. But, all the pieces Quinn needs to turn Atlanta into a top-tier defense aren’t on the roster yet. The metamorphosis he’s caused with the pieces he inherited and the few he piece-mealed together during the offseason, look fierce. This unit moves fast, hits hard and if Monday is an indicator, will improve dramatically and quickly.

As for the Eagles – how many times do we have to see the same story – down two scores at halftime – come out and light it up.  Is the Chipster losing his Sinatra ways?  With less than four minutes on the clock in the fourth quarter and an offense that was finally moving the ball well in the second half, the Eagles had the ball at the Atlanta 26-yard line, but were stuffed on third down. That’s when Coach Kelly decided to … kick a field goal?

Hey, where’s Chip and what have you done with him? Of course, Eagles kicker Cody Parkey missed the 44-yarder and, after a subsequent drive ended in a Sam Bradford interception, that was that.

No lead seems to be safe in the Georgia Dome, even with this new staff in place (remember the 2012 NFC Championship?), but Falcons’ Fans can appreciate a bizarre and suddenly, conservative Kelly late in the game.


#3 – Perfect

Week one is in the books, and a few peeps woke up today with several ZEROES in their bank acct they did not have yesterday – like you Jeremy Bronson – winner of $1,000,000 and first place finisher in Fanduel’s $5M NFL Sunday Million (1 Million to 1st) contest – Congratulations!!!  We ourselves played and cashed 78% of our lineups.  Go to the TheDiRTCanon.com and signup today and we will Teach you how to #win!!!

Here are week 1’s perfect lineups:

Fanduel

FD_perfectL_wk1

DraftKings

 

DK_perfectL_wk1


#4 – other news

From what I saw – I thought I’d give a way-to-early prediction of who IS NOT going to the Superbowl this year – feel free to disagree, but these are the facts as I see them…

Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers have some excellent weapons on the offense, and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger can throw all day long anywhere on the field.

However, anyone who witnessed the league’s season-opener against the Patriots had to have been blind not to see the gaping holes in the Steelers’ defense. In their first game without Dick LeBeau leading the way, Pittsburgh allowed Tom Brady to toss four touchdowns—three of which went to Rob Gronkowski, who wasn’t even covered on his first score.

Big Ben is good, but he’s not good enough to overcome this abysmal defense.

Indianapolis Colts

ColtsThe Colts offense under quarterback Andrew Luck does not have a problem putting up points.

Unfortunately, the sketchy Colts defense also doesn’t have a problem giving up points. Last year, Indy’s defense allowed the seventh-most passing touchdowns and sixth-most rushing touchdowns.

And, while the Colts made some enhancements over the offseason, the last time we checked, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson and rookie wide receiver Phillip Dorsett don’t play defense, and the O-line is still terrible!

They’ll need to pull a magic rabbit out of their hat if they’re going to advance in the playoffs and succeed in beating some of the AFC’s stiffer competition.

Baltimore Ravens

Ravens fatThe Ravens have severe age-gap issues.

They feature senior citizens at their top running back and wide receiver positions this year.  Steve Smith Sr. is 36 years old while Justin Forsett is pushing 30. Additionally, Forsett is not working under coordinator Gary Kubiak this time around, whereas last year he achieved a league-high 5.1 yards per carry. He also recorded personal highs of 1,266 rushing yards and eight touchdowns, both of which could be a struggle to achieve again this season.

Furthermore, the team has a rookie tight end, and its rookie receiver and first-round draft pick Breshad Perriman will struggle to get up to full speed once he finally is cleared to play this year, after missing the entire preseason with a knee injury.

Between the old guys and new guys, there are just too many things that could go wrong for the Ravens this season.

Chicago Bears

Bears-300x260The Bears possess one of the largest fan bases around. However, the fans can’t make Jay Cutler suddenly develop good judgment in 2015. He’s notoriously wild and last year threw 18 interceptions.

Additionally, the team shipped its top wide receiver Brandon Marshall out of town, and the team’s first-round draft pick Kevin White is in jeopardy of missing his entire rookie season.

Defense is also a big problem. In 2014, the Bears allowed the second-most touchdowns and the third-highest passing yards in the league.

Unfortunately, Matt Forte won’t be enough to carry the team to a championship game.  However, John Fox will have them competitive.

Denver Broncos

Broncos funnyIt could be many years before we see the Broncos in a SuperBowl again.

The last time the team made the trip to the championship game, quarterback Peyton Manning and the rest of the offense choked, horribly. Remember that 43-8 slaughter by the Seahawks?  Pepperidge Farms remembers…

That loss was preceded by the record-breaking season Manning achieved in 2013 when he passed for 5,477 yards and 55 touchdowns. Manning has since been on the decline, and his arm strength is still a question mark entering the 2015 season.

If the Broncos couldn’t win the Super Bowl after Manning posted record-breaking stats, there’s no way the team even makes it to the big game this year – let alone the ‘offs.

Dallas Cowboys

Cowboys funnyThe Cowboys are coming off one of their better years, and actually winning a playoff game, albeit dubiously—the first postseason appearance since 2009. Although this could give fans the impression this team is ready to take the next step, in fact the Cowboys could be poised to take several steps back, due to a questionable ground game – you let DeMarco go?

Tony Romo will be forced to throw more than the team wants him to, and that means more mistakes, as we’ve seen before.  The Cowboys will be a good team in 2015, just not spectacular enough to get to Super Bowl 50.


#5 – Baseball

We still got baseball tonight and in 3 weeks it’s the playoffs – so in the meantime we move ever closer to one of the greatest sports months – October!  Baseball Playoffs, Basketball, Hockey and Football all together – #Murica!  I’m still working on the numbers to give you guys the edge you need for tonight’s 15 games on DraftKings and I will have those posted, no later than 3pm MST – you will find all of the info you need, under the Baseball DiRTy Plays tab.

Coached Up

We’re very excited for the upcoming football season, and we’re even more excited to announce 2 major, never-before-seen fantasy football contests for Week 1 of the NFL season, brought to us by Draftkings! 

Get your line up in now and with DraftKings, you do not need to worry about a kicker = more points, more fun, more $$$! Click here to enter!

Trying to figure out or rank the NFL’s coaches is a difficult task because so many X-factors exist in the determination of success and failure. Sometimes an average coach is in the right environment and he thrives and sometimes a good coach is in a toxic environment that even the best couldn’t dig their way out of. One thing is for sure, though, the better your head coach the higher the chance you’ll have at winning. Below is a smattering in no particular order:

Bill Belichick, New England Patriots

Belichick is on a legen…(wait for it)…dary path and while discussing 32 coaches is difficult, agreeing on who is #1 is not. Belichick has been AP Coach of the Year three times, won four Super Bowls, and been to the playoffs 12 out of 15 seasons.

Andy Reid, Kansas City Chiefs

Reid’s run in Philadelphia was a very good one but more impressive perhaps is how quickly he turned the Chiefs into a playoff team. Anytime you can do that in multiple environments, you’ve shown your abilities. Injuries bit the Chiefs last year, as well as the allergic reaction his WR’s had to the endzone, lead an expectation that Reid will lead his team to a rebound year.

Sean Payton, New Orleans Saints

Last year’s meltdown was hard and it would be quick to condemn both Payton and the Saints based on one bad season. The Saints rebounded from their post Bountygate season to make the playoffs and in 2009 they rebounded from 7-9 to win a Super Bowl. Payton is likely the best offensive mind in the game. His offense has been in the top five every year except for one since he coached the Saints and they were #1 in the NFL last season. He’s been AP coach of the year and led his team to the playoffs five times in eight seasons.

John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens

Any coach that survives the retirement of Ray Lewis and Ed Reed to maintains this level of success, deserves credit. He’s been to the playoffs 6 times since 2008 and he has won a Super Bowl.

Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers looked like they might be falling apart, before we saw a big resurgence from Ben Roethlisberger last year in part thanks to the explosion of Antonio Brown and Le’Veon Bell. Make no mistake, Tomlin plays a huge part in keeping this team competitive despite the big drop off defensive talent and the hole now left by Lebeau . He’s been to the playoffs 5 times with a Super Bowl title since 2007.

Pete Carroll, Seattle Seahawks

His player friendly style has worked wonders both at USC and in Seattle. While anyone could win with the talent he’s assembled he deserves a lot of credit for cultivating and maximizing those players. His run the last two years with two Super Bowl trips and one title has been dominant.  Maybe next time he’ll run the ball.

Chuck Pagano, Indianapolis Colts

He brings a certain level of toughness, and the Colts seem to be on the verge of really big things.  But it seems we have seen this movie before with the previous QB era.  Jury is still out until we see more besides just Andrew Luck.

Jeff Fisher, St. Louis Rams

Fisher is a fantastic coach that knows how to assemble a roster and get the most out of his players. His Achilles heel in St. Louis remains his inability to get consistent healthy quarterback play. Maybe Nick Foles can bring consistency and change that; and if he can the Rams are a team to take very seriously.

John Fox, Chicago Bears

Fox has had successful stops in Carolina and Denver. The Bears are elated to have someone of his quality and he should be able to turn things around quickly, but the ceiling is always low.

Tom Coughlin, New York Giants

His improbable two Super Bowl title runs have kept him in New York much longer than anyone expected. He knows how to get his squad up for the most important games, that’s for sure.  Remember, his Jaguars still have more playoff victories than the Cowboys in the last 20yrs.

Bruce Arians, Arizona Cardinals

The Cardinals were a Super Bowl contender before the injury of Carson Palmer. Arians has done a fantastic job there after being a very successful assistant coach for a long time. He deserves that job based on how he filled in for Pagano in Indianapolis.

Mike McCarthy, Green Bay Packers

One could argue McCarthy has underachieved a little bit considering his quarterback is Aaron Rodgers. He’s still an excellent offensive mind, though, and there’s no question his 94-49-1 record speaks for itself.

Jim Caldwell, Detroit Lions

He’s a disciplinarian that runs a tight ship and has Super Bowl experience with the Colts. His first season in Detroit was promising.

Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals

He catches some heat and he’s been fortunate to hang on to his job as long as he has but he is a premiere defensive coach. Unfortunately he’s never had enough talent, under center, to really take this team to the next level, but he’s still an above average coach.

Ron Rivera, Carolina Panthers

The Panthers defense has been dominant the last couple of years and Rivera has greatly benefited from a weak division. He’s been a gutsy coach that seems to have a great feel for the game.

Bill O’Brien, Houston Texans

His turnarounds of both the Texans and Penn State are nothing short of remarkable. But can he compete at the top?

Mike McCoy, San Diego Chargers

The Charges have been ok under McCoy, but he’s been a bit of a disappointment and hasn’t really shown that he’s an upgrade over Norv Turner.

Rex Ryan, Buffalo Bills

Ryan is a good coach who had success in New York for a while despite poor quaterback play, but can he turn around a team in Buffalo with the same exact problems?

Jack Del Rio, Oakland Raiders

Will he be able to succeed where it seems like everyone else fails? He’s got a good history as a defensive guy, but for this team to win Derek Carr will need to develop and Del Rio will need to stay out of the way.

Gary Kubiak, Denver Broncos

This is a good fit for a prolific offense. His stint in Houston was mediocre at best but he’ll be working with more talent.  It is now or never to show what he is capable of.

Chip Kelly, Philadelphia Eagles

The jury is still out on Kelly but he certainly seems to have blown up his roster. And as explosive and exciting as his style has been at times, the team still hasn’t won a playoff game in two seasons with him. A lot of talk without results. It’s hard to see the Eagles being better this year unless Sam Bradford can stay healthy and productive.

Dan Quinn, Atlanta Falcons

Quinn seems as solid as it comes in terms of coaching defense. The Falcons will need it as they were 32nd overall last season. We’ll see how he does as a head coach, though, there are a lot of unknowns.  Lucky for him he has Matt Ryan and Julio Jones to help him figure it out.

Mike Pettine, Cleveland Browns

A solid effort to get the Browns to 7-9 last year but with Hoyer gone it could be worse this year.

Jason Garrett, Dallas Cowboys

Garrett has underachieved and like Romo he cannot get it done in the postseason.

Mike Zimmer, Minnesota Vikings

He did an admirable job last season considering the Adrian Peterson situation. It remains to be seen if he’s the right man for that job, though.  Having Norv Turner is going to help.

Todd Bowles, New York Jets

He’s had a couple good years with elite talent as a defensive coordinator in Arizona. A lot of unknowns exist on how he’ll do as a head coach in a new environment.  Alot hinges on the growth of Geno Smith.

Lovie Smith, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

His credibility took a big shot as the Bucs regressed last year. The future of his head coaching career now rests on the arm and head of Jameis Winston. I’d be nervous.

Joe Philbin, Miami Dolphins

He’s 23-25 since 2012 with no trips to the playoffs. He’s a mediocre coach for an average football team.

Ken Whisenhunt, Tennessee Titans

Last season was a disaster in Tennessee. He’ll be looking for a new job soon if results don’t improve.

Jay Gruden, Washington Redskins

Not only was Gruden’s team a disaster on the field last season, there were issues off the field surrounding the management of RGIII. I’m not sure any coach could succeed in this environment, many have tried.

Jim Tomsula, San Francisco 49ers

Really have to question his qualifications here and based on the offseason he’s really set up to fail.

Gus Bradley, Jacksonville Jaguars

7-25 since 2013 speaks for itself, unfortunately, but there is talent and they play harder than most teams.

DiRT Nap

Jerry was a race car driver…

So Jeff sez he’s all done after this year and thats just one less dude we will know in the Great Game of Turning Left.  Can’t believe I did this…

Speaking of non-sports…

What the heck is going on in Golf?  Dustin has a Coke problem. Tiger’s missing a tooth. Lee Westwood saves a guy and Allenby’s clandestine kidnapping.

Tiger says it’s from a camera man – where’s the footage?  The bruise? But it is not as fishy as Robert Allenby being found by a homeless person, after being kidnapped, beaten, robbed and dumped in a park.  More like, I got drunk, bought a hooker, ran out of cialis, hit my head on a rock after fishing with Rob Konrad, and the FBI is on the case.  Now of course he says the details are not important – of course they arent when you envoke the “Taken” movies, and then say it was just some locals jealous of your celebrity – in Hawaii – jealous, of a golfer – not even your friends, that were with you at the winebar, noticed you were gone – so let’s not overstate your fame here Felicia.

New Boss, same as the old boss…

Wilin Rosario

So Wilin Rosario is still on this team and NOW management claims that he has really improved his 1st base and outfield skills…Huh? Say that again?  We now have a 3rd-team catcher AND at 1st base?  So the guy who has trouble with balls in the dirt behind the plate is capable of playing a position that requires shagging balls out of the dirt, plus he’s 5’11” and has shown no inclination of jumping over a credit card.  But HEY, they also said outfielder!

Are we really gonna place a cement mixer out in the spacious outfield of Coors Field just because he hits lefties pretty well?  Any pitcher with a breaking pitch strikes him out and I once saw him lose to an old-lady with a walker, truckin to first on a slow-roller to third.

So what management is really telling us, is what they have always told us and that is; they over-value/over-price their talent and from there, they can not find anyone to trade with.  So they make up some BS story about how hard he works and then further lie about making offers to Free-Agent Pitchers, that never happened – #JamesShields – just to make it seem like they actually DO something.  It shows that the front-office cannot admit mistakes for their evaluation of talent – then they try to hide it by being creative, trying them out at other positions – instead of DOING something.  You have Morneau at 1st and Ben Paulsen as a more than competent back-up – in the outfield, who are you gonna take out that Rosario is better than, we are in the NL and do not have a DH, so he becomes useless.

Oh wait, maybe he could take Charlie Blackmon’s spot because they have listened to trade offers on him and we clearly have no prospects better than Rosario to replace him.  But Charlie’s price-tag is probably a #1 or #2 starting pitcher – maybe thats why the Cubs stopped calling because they got Dexter Fowler cheap – Just another example of over-pricing/over-valuing talent, nor what to do with it – They’ll over-inflate 2nd and 3rd tier talent but when it comes to CarGo and Tulo they’ll take 3rd and 4th tier talent and sell us the merits of Angelina Jolie when all we get is a coked out Lindsay Lohan.  The Who were right, except we keep getting fooled…

Speaking of mistakes…

Miss Universe is on NBC this Sunday…so you have plenty of time to review the card and place a bet – to help smooth you over until then – here is Miss Germany; she has a dog that looks like an alien (im going with Alf) and her last name is pronounced “DONUT” – which is nice…

Germany 2014

Josefin Donat

 

NFL new head coaches: quick hits

John Fox: Goes to the Bears and brings Adam Gase (Broncos OC) and Vic Fangio (SF DC) with him.  What we know is that he will get that team, with/without “Jake” Cutler, to a competitive place – winning something of value will be a different story.  He is Dan Reeves, a good coach with unimpressive end results.  Fox is 30 games over .500 and has 2 Superbowl and 7 playoff appearances.  This is also the first time since the ’50’s that the Bears have hired a coach with prior experience.

Todd Bowles: Is the anti-Rex and seems to be the NFL’s flavor of the month as a coordinator.  He has only been a D-coordinator since 2012 and is now a Head Coach.  How patient will the Jets be while he learns on the job – but, he has established a solid start by bringing in former Head Coach and now Offensive Coordinator in Chan Gailey.  With what he accomplished in Arizona and their injuries, you can expect the Jets to still be relevant on the D-side of the ball.

Dan Quinn: Not a head coach yet but clearly the hiring of Kyle Shanahan as OC for the Falcons means that after the Superbowl an agreement has already been reached – wink, wink – Otherwise the Falcons are in a world of hurt if Dan is not the man.  The big question that we will have answered is how much influence did/does Dan Quinn have on the Seahawk D – for Atlanta’s sake it better be substantial.  That’ll be 3 out of 4 coaches in the NFC South that are D coordinators.

Jack Del Rio: Was decent for Jacksonville and will be a solid influence on the Raiders.  He is a defensive coach that could not stop Andrew Luck, as mentioned before here, or anyone when it really mattered, #Ravens.  Oakland has talent and needs someone to take them to the next level – Del Rio could help with one side of the ball – but his biggest problem will be offensively and he hired Bill Musgrave as his OC.  Musgrave’s philosophy is based on unimaginitive play-calling with a heavy focus on the run – for a team that does not have the personnel to run heavy – maybe he should have hired Mike Martz.

Rex Ryan: This guy is winning at the Bar.  He has done nothing as a head coach and it is surprising that the Bills hired him, considering that they have a complete dossier on him being in the same division all these years.  For a team that is questionable at QB just like his former team, Rex still brings his QB coach with him – how did that work out for Geno?  Your move EJ!  The D will be good and for Rex, he has no pressure in Buffalo – just make the playoffs once every 4 years and I’m sure they might name a street after you – the bar is low in Buffalo – Remember the K-Gun and Thermal.

Gary Kubiak: It’s just Kubes, being Kubes.  This seems like nothing more than nepotism and that’s fine – Kubiak is a good coach and this says more about after Peyton than right now.  If they can get to a Superbowl again then he will be annointed a patron saint of the l’orange.  What is weird is that if the rumors of a fallout with Fox and Elway were true, centered around run v pass; then this hire makes no sense, as Kubiak is a run first guy.  This could be the marriage that Elway wants to recreate when the Broncos last won(manipulated) the Superbowl with Shanahan. Fox=Reeves, Manning=Elway, Shanahan=Kubiak.

Jim Tomsula: Who? No one saw this coming and everyone just has to take some guys’ word for it, being a great hire.  The real problem seems to be, who is on his staff?  A lot of good people already have jobs, including talented people from the 49ers.  He may be a good coach, but without a proper staff, how is it gonna work?  Guess we’ll see – best a 49er fan can hope for is a wildcard next year, and after that, not much else.