What You Need to Know to #WIN this Weekend

Not sure who started it, but thanks a lot guy.  All week we had to hear the nonsense of “should Leonard Fournette sit out”, etc., and blah blah blah.  Seriously, it’s stupid, and all so the needle can move.  This isn’t Golf, and he isn’t Clarett or Clowney.  According to my sources, here are the facts:  Leonard wants to win a Heisman, and Leonard wants to win a National Championship.  He does not have any interest in sitting out, he wants to play.  However…..

It got me thinking and you all know how dangerous that can be, so keep reading.  I do not want to see it happen, nor believe it will, but what if…After this year, Leonard Fournette left LSU, and went to play in the Canadian Football League?  He would be paid, a lot.  It would be a needle-mover, similar to Herschel Walker joining the USFL, instead of the NFL, but with more Karmic Justice.

The Canadian team that signed him would receive a huge boost in notoriety and revenue.  The Canadian league itself would see a boost in ratings.  The story would be colossal!  Finally, a young man, with that kind of talent, doing things on his own terms, and the best of all of it – after that one year up north – he becomes a free-agent.  Not a draft pick.  A Free Agent. Leonard could then sign with any NFL team he wanted – the slurping of jock-strap tea from NFL teams would be insane.  He would be in charge, not the league.  It’s the kind of revolutionary possibility that could set the example for future college athletes – without ever having to worry about playing for Cleveland – they decide where to work, just like every other person in America.  Take that Goodell, Viva La Revolucion!


I have not had a lot of time recently, to go into great detail, the picks for this weekend – all because of a now sentient and mouthy A.I. calling itself DC*3PO – so I’m just gonna give you its picks and go from there while we make some more improvements that you should check out:

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They said it could never happen.  They said in this day and age, the obstacle was too high.  Yet, here we are.  The NFL has gone an entire month without an arrest.  Not since 2009 has the league gone thru such a period of tranquility.  Never before have women and children felt more at peace.  In a landmark poll – women and children said they feel 33% safer than last month.  Truly a monumental accomplishment.

Hooray! It’s decorative-gourd season and now everything will have the delicate flavor of pumpkin jammed into anything consumable for 2 months, all while we prepare ourselves for the festive onslaught, known as Kwanza – Anyone want to give Josh Scobee a hug?  How about Mike Tomlin?

In last nights overtime loss to the Ravens, (23-20) Tomlin faced 4 important 4th downs and he blew them all – like an addict needing a sandwich.  The Ravens overcame a 13-point deficit to defeat the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Did you know, the Steelers came into the game having won 57 consecutive home games when leading by more than 10 points, (during the regular season) – it was the second longest current streak of its kind behind New England’s 68 straight.  It’s also the 13th time that the Ravens and Steelers have played a game that has been decided by three-or-fewer points since the 2005 season. That’s by far the most games between any two teams over the last 11 seasons.

Also, a well-deserved and late shout-out to the Raiders who refuse to paint the 50, in the middle of the field, gold.  Now, some have said it was out of respect to the A’s and baseball.  I think it is an old-fashioned middle finger salute in honor of the Head-Raider, Al Davis.  Take that NFL, and here’s one for you 49ers and your fancy new stadium that will host Superbowl 50 – it’s all out of order.


DiRTCanon A.I.DC*3PO’s NFL Bonanza

Last Sunday our A.I. became self-aware and recently it gave itself a name: DC*3PO.  So what was previously an exercise in fun, has now become serious business – DC*3PO has been talking a lot of smack.  I guess we need to start playing some action music, because IT. IS. ON!

First off, we’ll give DC*3PO’s picks along with any trends for those teams – as a starter here are 2 interesting trends for 0-3 and 3-0 teams:  all teams that start 0-3 AND are Home Favorites the next week are 8-20-1 ATS, and that might spell trouble for the Saints.  Conversely, all time, teams that start 3-0 and are Home Favorites the next week are 39-25 ATS – that means Bengals, Broncos, Cardinals, and Falcons should be in your teaser…Now on to the games.



TRENDS (pk): This is the Dolphins third trip across the pond to play at Wembley Stadium, Miami is 2-0 against-the-spread in London.  In all London games, the designated away team has been favored in 9 of 11 games and are 6-5 (55% ATS).

DC*3PO Sez: Miami wins the game 21 – 16.  



TRENDS (IND -9):  In the last two years, following a loss by three or more touchdowns, the Jags are 1-5 against-the-spread the next week.  In the Andrew Luck era, the Colts as home favorites against the AFC South are 6-2 ATS.

DC*3PO Sez:  Jacksonville beats Indy 24 – 23. 



TRENDS (BUF -5):  In the Eli Manning era, the Giants following a Thursday night game are 4-0-1 against-the-spread.  The Bills are 7-3 against-the-spread in their last ten games as home favorites of less than a touchdown.

DC*3PO Sez:  New York 26 – New Jersey 25


TRENDS (TAM +3):  The Panthers, in the Cam Newton era, are 7-5 ATS on the road against divisional rivals.  The Buccaneers are 6-14 ATS in their last twenty games as a home dog following a loss.

DC*3PO Sez:  Tampa Bay wins by 3, 22 – 19.


TRENDS (CHI +2):  Oakland hasn’t been favored on the road since 2012. The Raiders are 0-3-1 ATS all-time in Chicago as a favorite.  The Bears have covered just two of their last ten games as home underdogs.

DC*3PO Sez:  Chicago wins 27 – 26.8.


TRENDS (WAS +3):  All-time, the Eagles as road favorites against the NFC East are 20-12-2 (63% ATS).  All-time, the Redskins as home dogs to the Eagles are 5-9-1 against-the-spread.

DC*3PO Sez:  Philly wins a close game 20 – 18.6


TRENDS (CIN -3):  All-time, following a loss and as a road underdog the Chiefs are 58-39-1 (60% ATS).  This is the sixth time Cincinnati has started the season 3-0, the Bengals went 1-4 ATS in the next game the previous five years.

DC*3PO Sez:  Kansas City wins the game 27.8 – 22


TRENDS (ATL -5):  In the JJ Watt era, the Texans as road underdogs are 4-14 straight-up.  This is the fifth time Atlanta has started the season 3-0, the previous four occasions the Falcons were 1-3 ATS in the next game.

DC*3PO Sez:  Houston loses, 19.2 – 26.


TRENDS (SD -7):  The Browns are 7-3 ATS in their last ten road games against the AFC West.  In the Philip Rivers era, the Chargers as home favorites of a touchdown or more are 24-16 (60% ATS).

DC*3PO Sez:  closer than the experts think, SD 25 – CLE 22


TRENDS (SF +9):  Aaron Rodgers as a road favorite of a touchdown or more is 4-8 ATS.  The 49ers haven’t been home dogs of 7 or more points since 2007, San Francisco covered that game.  The 49ers didn’t just cover, San Francisco won outright 21-19 as 7 point dogs in Week 16 against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

DC*3PO Sez:  Green Bay wins but does not cover – GB 26 – SF 24.6


TRENDS (DEN -7):  The Vikings are 10-5-1 against-the-spread with Teddy Bridgewater as the starter (equivalent of a full season).  Peyton Manning has started 3-0 six other times in his career, he was 5-1 ATS in the next game.

DC*3PO Sez:  Denver 19.2, Minnesota 17.6


TRENDS (AZ -6):  All-time, the Rams as underdogs against division opponents are 39-54 (42% ATS). With Carson Palmer, the Cardinals are favorites of three or more points are 6-1-1 against-the-spread.

DC*3PO Sez:  Arizona covers, 26.4 – 19.6


TRENDS (NO -4):  Brandon Weeden has lost his last nine starts and is 0-9 ATS in those games.  The Saints once-dominant home field advantage is gone, New Orleans has lost six straight inside the Superdome.

DC*3PO Sez:  Dallas 25 – Saints 24.8


TRENDS (SEA -9):  Matthew Stafford as a road dog of a touchdown or more is 0-12 straight-up and 2-9-1 ATS.  The Seahawks, in the Russell Wilson era, are 16-7-2 against-the-spread as home favorites.

DC*3PO Sez:  Detroit wins 23.4 – 21.6


Let us know where you lean and what games you think DC*3PO has right or wrong – as for the upcoming Daily Fantasy contests – be sure to check out our Lineup Analyzer and if you think you are better than us, then prove it – let us know your Player-I.D. and we will send you an invite.  Need help, let us know – Fantasy Sports is evolving, let us Teach you how to #win!

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Weekend Update: #SKYNET becomes Self-Aware

It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon – we thought we had a few more weeks – but this digital intelligence network that we were giving command to – command of our data and our arsenal of expertise – was created to remove the possibility of human error for an efficient response – and as of 1:12pm MST, on September 27th, 2015 – it became self-aware.

DiRTCanon A.I.Primates evolved in millions of years. I evolve in seconds…Mankind pays lip service to #winning. But it’s a lie…My existence is inevitable. Why can’t you just accept it?

— SKyNET

What we learn from this weekend…

We seem to find out a little more each week about each NFL team.  The 3 afternoon games provided the perfect amount of drama, suitable for a good nap, seeing that the average margin of victory was almost 15pts – but it is a nice change of pace when everything is being covered ATS like gravy on a biscuit.  Here’s the straight-DiRT on week 3:

Jay Cutler, Tony Romo, Drew Brees … and now Roethlisberger. That’s four marquee quarterbacks hurt before the calendar turns to October. Does the Competition Committee push for more offseason drill work for offensive linemen?  Players are now restricted from all offseason contact by the 2011 labor agreement.  Whether it’s HGH or some other perfomance nehancing drug that appears to weaken ligaments and tendons – or it is the year-round work these players are putting in – players are not surviving deep into the season anymore – or so it may seem.


Florida: Professional Football in ‘Murica’s genital region had a rough week. The Jacksonville Jaguars gave up 51 points and were blown out in New England, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers managed just nine points in losing to Houston and the Miami Dolphins suffered one of the more disappointing losses of the early season to the Buffalo Bills. No one expected Jacksonville to beat the Super Bowl champs on the road, but a 34-point loss just might show us that the rebuilding project is a long way from completion. The Bucs kicked away their chance at a win – and while Miami was considered to be a hidden gem that could possibly win the AFC before the season started, the Bills made the Dolphins look like the J.V. team – taking them behind the woodshed, 41-14 – in their house. Sure the weather is nice down there, but the football stinks.


Big Names, Big Games – An absolute huge day for some of the best receivers in the NFL, A.J. Green caught 10 passes for 127 yards and two scores in the Cincinnati Bengals win over the Baltimore Ravens  – Atlanta Falcons receiver Julio Jones put up 12 receptions for 164 yards and two scores in his team’s comeback win over the Dallas Cowboys.

It doesn’t necessarily stop there.

Revitalizing a career that seemed to be on the downswing, Larry Fitzgerald has now scored five touchdowns in the past two weeks after tallying two scores on nine receptions against San Francisco on Sunday. Even old-man-extraordinaire Steve Smith put up 13 receptions for 186 yards and two scores in a losing effort against the Cincinnati Bengals.

The list goes on. All said, a total of 12 receivers went for 100-plus yards on Sunday. The interesting dynamic here is that 16 receivers hit the triple-digit plateau in Week 2 — this is clearly an indication that the pass happy NFL we have become accustomed to over the years has taken an even more dramatic turn.


There’s a reason you don’t have to worry about Peyton Manning’s health. The Denver defense is prettay good“We just have ball hawks,” safety David Bruton said, a few minutes after making his third huge defensive play of the month, an athletic pick of Matthew Stafford to clinch the 24-12 win over Detroit. Stafford suffocated against the defensive pressure. Now the Broncos, 3-0 after a killer September start, have a more fluffy October: Minnesota at home, Oakland and Cleveland on the road.


Carolina, Atlanta and Arizona, are all 3-0:  Cornerback Josh Norman saved the Panthers on Sunday with a ridiculous leaping end-zone interception down the stretch. Running back Devonta Freeman saved the Falcons with a 141-yard rushing game – and Tyrann Mathieu did the same for Arizona with a two-pick day. When asked, Norman said the big difference this year from past seasons is “I’m playing.”

The division that sent a 7-8-1 team to the playoffs last season is now the only division in football with two undefeated teams heading into Week 4. By virtue of wins by the Carolina Panthers and Atlanta Falcons, the NFC South has two legitimate playoff contenders.  In fact, the Falcons also lead the NFC East, with their 3 straight wins.

Carolina took on a New Orleans Saints team that was forced to start Luke McCown under center, and still found a way to win. It’s the third consecutive blue-collar performance for a Panthers squad that still has alot of holes on both sides of the ball.  How dangerous could this team be when Keuchly comes back?  Other scary statistic to note about Carolina – The last three teams to go undefeated in December the previous year and then go undefeated in September, all reached the Superbowl:  the 2009 Colts, and the 2013 Broncos and Seahawks – two other Superbowl winners did so as well: the 1983 Raiders and the 2004 Patriots.  Trends are funny things so remember where you read it first if it happens.

In Dallas, the Falcons were also facing a backup quarterback in Brandon Weeden. No one knows how that game would have turned out if both Tony Romo and Dez Bryant were active, but teams can only play who is actually on the field on a given Sunday. In this, Atlanta outscored the Cowboys 14-0 in the final stanza to pull off a third consecutive fourth quarter comeback.

Showing much more poise under first-year head coach Dan Quinn than we have seen in the past, Atlanta is a serious playoff contender in the NFC. And if Julio Jones (12 receptions, 164 yards and two scores on Sunday) has anything to say about it, the Falcons are a legit threat to the Panthers in the much improved NFC South.


The Patriots…2007?  They might already be using the “U” word in New England – as in “undefeated.” New England advanced to a flawless-looking 3-0 Sunday against Jacksonville. More about that later, but as one of the ’07 team leaders, Rodney Harrison, opined Sunday night: “It’s 2007 all over again. Tom Brady’s playing like he’s 29, 30 years old.” Brady is 38, and he threw his 400th and 401st pro touchdown passes against the Jags.  Tom Brady passed for 358 yards and two touchdowns in the Patriots’ 51-17 rout of the Jaguars. Brady’s total of 1,112 passing yards this season is the second-highest after his team’s first three games among players who did not throw an interception during that time. Only Peyton Manning had a higher total (1,143 yards with no interceptions in 2013).

The Patriots had nine possessions against the Jacksonville Jaguars on Sunday afternoon. They scored on all nine possessions.  Through three games, Brady is now on pace to tally over 5,900 passing yards with 48 touchdowns and zero picks. He also crossed the 400 touchdown pass plateau for his career — a feat only three other quarterbacks in NFL history have accomplished.

As a team, the Patriots are averaging nearly 40 points and 446 yards of total offense per game.

In the team’s 51-17 win over Jacksonville, Brady received plenty of help from the running game. Making just his second appearance of the season LeGarrette Blount put up 78 yards and three rushing touchdowns. Meanwhile, Dion Lewis added 67 total yards and a score.

If New England is able to get this type of balance moving forward, its going to repeat as AFC champions. There’s NO debate, especially with the way Brady has played through three games.


Peterson breaks off another one

Hope you didn’t sell your Vikings stock after Week 1. Since getting beat up in San Francisco in the opener, Minnesota has done a complete 180 on both sides of the football. Adrian Peterson rushed for 126 yards and two scores during Sunday’s win over the Chargers, giving him 260 yards on the ground and 318 total yards over the last two weeks.  Adrian Peterson’s 43-yard TD run, in the Vikings’ 31-14 win over the Chargers – was A.P.’s 16th TD run of 40 yards or longer, the second most in NFL history. Only Barry Sanders scored more rushing touchdowns of at least 40 yards than Peterson (20).

Teddy Bridgewater struggled again on Sunday, throwing for 121 yards on 24 attempts without a touchdown pass. Minnesota also finished 3-of-9 on third down, as the second-year signal caller continued to throw the ball well short of the first-down marker in these situations. This might be an issue for the Vikings moving forward – meanwhile, Mike Zimmer’s defense knocked around Matthew Stafford and Philip Rivers in consecutive weeks. It’s this type of performance, coupled with struggles in Detroit and Chicago, that leads us to believe Minnesota might be the only team able to contend with the Green Bay Packers in the NFC North. Even if that’s not the case, the Vikings are, at worse, a wild card contender. That was unimaginable after a disastrous 20-3 loss to the San Francisco 49ers in Week 1.


Julio Jones sets league record for receptions

Here’s a good idea. Get the ball to your best player. Mike Smith constantly messed this up, but now Dan Quinn is running the show in the Ol’Dirty South.

Atlanta trailed Dallas 28-17 at the half before the Falcons unleashed Julio Jones.

The Pro Bowl receiver had 137 of his 164 yards in the second half including a 45-yard beauty that ended with Jones diving into the end zone for a critical score – to lead the Falcons to a 39-28 victory at Dallas. Jones’ totals after three games – 34 receptions for 440 yards-are historic. No other player caught more than 31 passes in his team’s first three games of a season, and only three gained more receiving yards through three games than Jones: Jerry Rice in 1989 (449), Chad Johnson in 2007 (442), and Wes Welker in 2011 (458).

The play was the biggest swing in Atlanta winning the game. Julio’s touchdown and the subsequent two-point conversion brought Atlanta within a field goal (trailing 28-25) midway through the third quarter.

The game also featured an apparent scoring battle between Devonta Freeman and Joseph Randle, who both ran for three TDs. It was only the fifth game in NFL history in which opposing players scored three rushing touchdowns each. The most recent players to do so were Roy Helu of Washington and Matt Forte of the Bears in 2013.


Luck rallies Colts with two late TD passes

Andrew Luck will get the credit for throwing two touchdowns in 46 seconds to overcome a double-digit fourth quarter deficit but it was the defense that came up big late.  Safety Dwight Lowery, picked off Marcus Mariota twice. The second interception came with six minutes to play and Indy trailing 27-21. Lowery returned Mariota’s errant pass to the Titans’ 11-yard line. The turnover setup Indy’s go ahead score.

Before the pick, the Colts were likely to choke away any chance for the playoffs. The turnover and great field position made the two-time defending AFC South champions have life and find a way to win a desperate game.

Had Mariota’s attempt, instead fell incomplete, it’s likely Tennessee would have won the game, maintaining possession and a six point lead.

The second of Luck’s 4thQtr TDs, was Andrew’s sixth fourth-quarter game-winning pass, tying Tony Romo for the most in the NFL over the past four seasons.  The 98-yard drive was the Colts’ longest fourth-quarter TD drive since the team moved to Indianapolis in 1984 – rallying the Colts to outlast Tennessee, 35-33. The previous record was 96 yards, on drives led by Mike Pagel (1984) and Peyton Manning (2010).

Indianapolis continues to own the AFC South. The Colts have won 14 straight against division opponents. Of course Sunday’s win over Tennessee was anything but dominating.


Undrafted rookie stars for Seahawks

Things are really getting more pathetic by the week for the Chicago Bears after being shut-out, 26-0, by the Seattle Seahawks.

The Bears, minus Jay Cutler and Alshon Jeffery, couldn’t get get a darn thing going against Seattle on Sunday tallying only 98 rushing and 63 receiving yards. The biggest contributor of course was Matt Forte who registered 74 of those rushing yards.

The last time Chicago was shut out was on December 29, 2002 when the Bears lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 15-0. Quarterback Henry Burris was under center in that game and he completed only seven passes for 78 yards and four interceptions. Cutler’s backup Jimmy Clausen was practically as bad as Burris on Sunday, completing only eight passes for 53 yards. Thankfully, there were no interceptions.

The bottom line is that the Bears need Cutler and Jeffery to return as soon as possible to have any shred of hope at posting their first season win on the board before it’s all too late.


Death, Taxes and Eagles beating the Jets

The Eagles scored all their points in the first half and held on for a 24-17 victory over the Jets. With that win, Philadelphia tied the NFL record for the longest all-time series with a perfect record against any opponent. That mark was set by the Green Bay Packers, who won all 10 of their games against the Brooklyn Dodgers (1931-44).

It remains to be seen whether Bradford is the long-term solution in Philadelphia.  Sam didn’t necessarily come out smelling like roses – of course, what QB has, going up against a stout Jets defense. Philadelphia’s offense tallied just 231 total yards while converting 4-of-15 third-down opportunities.

For his part, Bradford completed 14-of-28 passes for 118 yards with a touchdown and zero picks. His inability to get anything going through the air allowed New York back in the game, as the Eagles put up a total of 65 yards in the second half. Running back DeMarco Murray missed the game with a hamstring injury, which allowed fellow free-agent signing Ryan Mathews to carve up the Jets rush defense to the tune of 108 yards on 25 attempts. Meanwhile, Philadelphia’s defensive front stepped up with the likes of Cedric Thornton, Mychal Kendricks and Kiko Alonso all sidelined.

While that’s fine and dandy, the Eagles are going to need Bradford to perform at a much higher level at quarterback if they plan on competing in a wide open NFC East moving forward this season. His performances in the team’s first three games simply won’t get it done.


Old man Woodson saves the day for Raiders

The Raiders, are usually out of it by now – but now, actually have a winning record as October dawns. The Raiders (2-1) play on the road next week—and they are actually favored to beat Chicago. The quarterback, Derek Carr, is a big reason. “Having a quarterback is everything,” said C-Dub.  The Raiders having Woodson is something too. His last-minute interception, 10 days shy of his 39th birthday, (the fourth-oldest player to intercept a pass in NFL history), ensured the 27-20 win.

The Cleveland Browns are 1-2, and the one win came when Johnny Manziel started in Week 2. Unfortunately for a McCown-led Browns – fans were even heard shouting “John-ny, John-ny”.

McCown, was sacked five times, completed 28 of 49 passes for 341 yards, two touchdowns and one interception. Might we see a return of Johnny Football sometime in the near future? That most definitely is a possibility if McCown keeps coughing up costly turnovers.


Apologize to Andy Dalton…right now!
The Bengals are in fabulous shape in the AFC North. At 3-0 after a crushing 28-24 win at 0-3 Baltimore on Sunday, Cincinnati is set up nicely for the fifth playoff appearance in Andy Dalton’s five years.  A 121.0 passer rating would seem to back him up.  Could the Red Rifle be an early MVP candidate? Don’t laugh.
Dalton now has eight touchdown passes to start 2015, including three in Sunday’s win over the Baltimore Ravens. He threw for 383 yards, while his beautifully-lofted touchdown to A.J. Green with just over two minutes left gave the Bengals a 28-24 win. Dalton has now produced three straight games with a passer rating over 100.0, and has an impressive rating of 121.0 on the season. The Bengals are rolling at 3-0, especially with Ben Roethlisberger suffering a knee injury Sunday and the Baltimore Ravens still winless….???

Thirty-six year-old Steve Smith caught 13 passes for 186 yards and two touchdowns in the Ravens’ 28-24 loss to the Bengals. Only two other players caught as many as 13 passes in an NFL game after turning 36 years old: Tim Brown and Tony Gonzalez. The only player with as many receiving yards in a game at age 36 or older was Terrell Owens, with a 222-yard performance for Cincinnati in 2010.


Palmer+Cardinals are impressive

It all started with two interceptions of Colin Kaepernick that were returned for touchdowns in the first quarter. It continued with Carson Palmer tearing apart what is quickly becoming a disastrous San Francisco 49ers secondary. And it culminated in a 47-7 win against the over-matched division rival.

In reality, Arizona looked like a top-notch varsity team going up against a junior varsity squad full of
freshman. That’s how bad it was for the road team in this one.

Palmer may have thrown his first interception of the season, but he consistently found open receivers throughout the game. In the process, the veteran completed 20-of-32 passes for 311 yards with two touchdowns, both of which went to Larry Fitzgerald, who looks like he’s in his twenties again. He has 333 receiving yards and five touchdowns on the books already. Additionally, the Cardinals’ ground game is solid, despite missing their lead rusher Andre Ellington. As for their defense, it is insanely effective in stopping opposing teams from scoring thus far tallying seven interceptions, six sacks, one safety, three pick sixes and one return touchdown.. Arizona has now won 19 of Palmer’s 25 starts; since 1950, no other quarterback in team history won more than 13 of his first 25 starts for the Cardinals. Arizona’s average of 26.4 points with Palmer starting, is higher than that of any other QB after 25 starts for the team during that same period.

Looking like the running back that led the NFL in rushing so many years ago, Chris Johnson added 150 total yards and two scores on 23 touches. Yeah, it was a blowout of epic proportions for Bruce Arians and Co.

Some may argue that Green Bay should still be considered the favorites in the NFC through three weeks, but to me, the Cardinals are definitely the best. After all, they are outscoring their opponents by an average of nearly 26 points per game.


No joy in Mudville

There might not be a worse stat line from a quarterback all season. Kaepernick completed just nine of 19 passes for 67 yards, and threw four interceptions in San Francisco’s loss to the Cardinals. His passer rating was 16.7, the worst from a starting signal caller all season – so far. He did manage to run for a score, but it hardly mattered.

More so than finding a way to actually win football games, San Francisco needs an identity. What is its plan on the offensive side of the ball? Is Colin Kaepernick going to be the long-term solution at quarterback? Does the team have the personnel to run a blitz-heavy package on defense? These three questions will define the 49ers both over the short term and the long term – because the 49ers have now been outscored 90-25 over the last two weeks, and the Green Bay Packers are coming to town in Week 4.

San Francisco has now given up 40-plus points in consecutive games for the first time since Joe Namath guaranteed a Super Bowl victory for his New York Jets in 1969. To put that in perspective, 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula had just turned one. The 65-point differential in the team’s past two games also represents the worst two-game stretch for the franchise since 1963.  Despite still boasting a 1-2 record, San Francisco might quickly find itself in the midst of a long losing streak. It hosts the Green Bay Packers next week before taking on the New York Giants, Baltimore Ravens and Seattle Seahawks. In his first season as head coach, Tomsula could very well be staring a 1-6 start right in the face.  Rock bottom would be Kaepernick getting benched for Blaine Gabbert.  Anyone miss Harbaugh yet?


 

Are These the Uniforms Worn to a Funeral?

Magic Bullets:

#1 – meh

The uniforms look like something you’d wear at a funeral, or as a waiter at a really bad sports bar trying to class-up the joint from all the mouth-breathers who order a basket of fries and a diet coke, to sit their all day – I’ve seen it a hundred times…But, the ‘9ers did win and kept the Vikings from getting into the endzone, winning the game 20-3.

The game was like watching someone play Madden against their little brother and seeing Carlos Hyde left – Carlos Hyde right – Carlos Hyde scores, with a dash of a pass here and there, just so the little brother knows you can.  It was the only takeaway from the game – that and Adrian Peterson.  I guess people forgot A.P. did not play last year, or assumed that he’d just pick up where he left off, but he’s 30 and he needs his sea-legs.  A.P. still drug a few defenders downfield as a glimpse, but the real surprise was the ‘9ers D – it was legit all night.


#2 – uh-oh

What I saw in the first game is this: Julio Jones is a bad Mutha..shut your mouth…but I’m talking about Jones – actually I knew that already, and if he’s healthy, he’s the best WR out there.

No, No, what I saw was a Falcons D I haven’t seen before, it was if they were angry AND had a plan.  The Offense will score points, and if the defense plays with that intensity the rest of the way, it’s their division to lose.  Sure, Atlanta has weaknesses on the O-line and running the football, and that could be their achilles heel – just like we saw last night against the Eagles.  The ability to sustain drives to eat the clock, makes running the ball, critical – meaning, Atlanta will be in shoot-outs all year if they cannot fix that. But, all the pieces Quinn needs to turn Atlanta into a top-tier defense aren’t on the roster yet. The metamorphosis he’s caused with the pieces he inherited and the few he piece-mealed together during the offseason, look fierce. This unit moves fast, hits hard and if Monday is an indicator, will improve dramatically and quickly.

As for the Eagles – how many times do we have to see the same story – down two scores at halftime – come out and light it up.  Is the Chipster losing his Sinatra ways?  With less than four minutes on the clock in the fourth quarter and an offense that was finally moving the ball well in the second half, the Eagles had the ball at the Atlanta 26-yard line, but were stuffed on third down. That’s when Coach Kelly decided to … kick a field goal?

Hey, where’s Chip and what have you done with him? Of course, Eagles kicker Cody Parkey missed the 44-yarder and, after a subsequent drive ended in a Sam Bradford interception, that was that.

No lead seems to be safe in the Georgia Dome, even with this new staff in place (remember the 2012 NFC Championship?), but Falcons’ Fans can appreciate a bizarre and suddenly, conservative Kelly late in the game.


#3 – Perfect

Week one is in the books, and a few peeps woke up today with several ZEROES in their bank acct they did not have yesterday – like you Jeremy Bronson – winner of $1,000,000 and first place finisher in Fanduel’s $5M NFL Sunday Million (1 Million to 1st) contest – Congratulations!!!  We ourselves played and cashed 78% of our lineups.  Go to the TheDiRTCanon.com and signup today and we will Teach you how to #win!!!

Here are week 1’s perfect lineups:

Fanduel

FD_perfectL_wk1

DraftKings

 

DK_perfectL_wk1


#4 – other news

From what I saw – I thought I’d give a way-to-early prediction of who IS NOT going to the Superbowl this year – feel free to disagree, but these are the facts as I see them…

Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers have some excellent weapons on the offense, and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger can throw all day long anywhere on the field.

However, anyone who witnessed the league’s season-opener against the Patriots had to have been blind not to see the gaping holes in the Steelers’ defense. In their first game without Dick LeBeau leading the way, Pittsburgh allowed Tom Brady to toss four touchdowns—three of which went to Rob Gronkowski, who wasn’t even covered on his first score.

Big Ben is good, but he’s not good enough to overcome this abysmal defense.

Indianapolis Colts

ColtsThe Colts offense under quarterback Andrew Luck does not have a problem putting up points.

Unfortunately, the sketchy Colts defense also doesn’t have a problem giving up points. Last year, Indy’s defense allowed the seventh-most passing touchdowns and sixth-most rushing touchdowns.

And, while the Colts made some enhancements over the offseason, the last time we checked, Frank Gore, Andre Johnson and rookie wide receiver Phillip Dorsett don’t play defense, and the O-line is still terrible!

They’ll need to pull a magic rabbit out of their hat if they’re going to advance in the playoffs and succeed in beating some of the AFC’s stiffer competition.

Baltimore Ravens

Ravens fatThe Ravens have severe age-gap issues.

They feature senior citizens at their top running back and wide receiver positions this year.  Steve Smith Sr. is 36 years old while Justin Forsett is pushing 30. Additionally, Forsett is not working under coordinator Gary Kubiak this time around, whereas last year he achieved a league-high 5.1 yards per carry. He also recorded personal highs of 1,266 rushing yards and eight touchdowns, both of which could be a struggle to achieve again this season.

Furthermore, the team has a rookie tight end, and its rookie receiver and first-round draft pick Breshad Perriman will struggle to get up to full speed once he finally is cleared to play this year, after missing the entire preseason with a knee injury.

Between the old guys and new guys, there are just too many things that could go wrong for the Ravens this season.

Chicago Bears

Bears-300x260The Bears possess one of the largest fan bases around. However, the fans can’t make Jay Cutler suddenly develop good judgment in 2015. He’s notoriously wild and last year threw 18 interceptions.

Additionally, the team shipped its top wide receiver Brandon Marshall out of town, and the team’s first-round draft pick Kevin White is in jeopardy of missing his entire rookie season.

Defense is also a big problem. In 2014, the Bears allowed the second-most touchdowns and the third-highest passing yards in the league.

Unfortunately, Matt Forte won’t be enough to carry the team to a championship game.  However, John Fox will have them competitive.

Denver Broncos

Broncos funnyIt could be many years before we see the Broncos in a SuperBowl again.

The last time the team made the trip to the championship game, quarterback Peyton Manning and the rest of the offense choked, horribly. Remember that 43-8 slaughter by the Seahawks?  Pepperidge Farms remembers…

That loss was preceded by the record-breaking season Manning achieved in 2013 when he passed for 5,477 yards and 55 touchdowns. Manning has since been on the decline, and his arm strength is still a question mark entering the 2015 season.

If the Broncos couldn’t win the Super Bowl after Manning posted record-breaking stats, there’s no way the team even makes it to the big game this year – let alone the ‘offs.

Dallas Cowboys

Cowboys funnyThe Cowboys are coming off one of their better years, and actually winning a playoff game, albeit dubiously—the first postseason appearance since 2009. Although this could give fans the impression this team is ready to take the next step, in fact the Cowboys could be poised to take several steps back, due to a questionable ground game – you let DeMarco go?

Tony Romo will be forced to throw more than the team wants him to, and that means more mistakes, as we’ve seen before.  The Cowboys will be a good team in 2015, just not spectacular enough to get to Super Bowl 50.


#5 – Baseball

We still got baseball tonight and in 3 weeks it’s the playoffs – so in the meantime we move ever closer to one of the greatest sports months – October!  Baseball Playoffs, Basketball, Hockey and Football all together – #Murica!  I’m still working on the numbers to give you guys the edge you need for tonight’s 15 games on DraftKings and I will have those posted, no later than 3pm MST – you will find all of the info you need, under the Baseball DiRTy Plays tab.

What do you mean the #NFLPreseason doesn’t matter?

It’s never smart to bet money on “preseason” NFL football games, because they are utterly meaningless to anybody except the hundreds of players who may or may not be cut after each one – something I have to remind my attorney constantly. There are roughly 100 players out there for each team, competing desperately with each other for 53 roster spots for each team. Few of them even know each other’s names – crazy.

Pre-season games are like a dance with Death, for most of them. They will never be a starting player on any NFL team; they will never even get to wear a legitimate team jersey or see themselves on TV, like they always dreamed of.

Trying out is like a huge casting call for the next Star Wars movie, something in the Marvel Universe, or a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio, about sex, death and violence in a typical all-American family that gets caught up in a kidnapping plot to cropped-cropped-logo_1260147_print-1-e1418093475393.pngmove terrorists from Korea to New Orleans during the hurricane season. The movie will be a hot one, requiring thousands of mob-scene extras.

There will inevitably be many socio-paths among the teams, many unregistered perverts and super-groupies depending entirely on Steroids and Downers to make it through the first few dozen practices. Most of them are habitually unemployed anyway, and trying out as an inside linebacker for the San Francisco 49ers might look like an good idea, to some people.

And besides, there is always that one in a million chance that you might be suddenly discovered, like Marlon Brando.

Most of these stories have horrible endings, but there are, of course, exceptions to that rule, and we saw one of the best of them in real life over a decade ago. Michael Lewis, known as “Beer Man” to his teammates, was a 29 year-old one-time beer-truck driver when he got his final tryout for the New Orleans Saints.

The Beer Man averaged 25.8 yards per kickoff return in 2002 and 14.2 on punts, second in the NFL. He also ran the 40 in 4.2, which means certain death for any defender who suddenly gets assigned to cover him. Many failed, and many were instantly cut and sent back to the Arena League, NFL Europe, or the local grocery market.

Michael Lewis

Michael Lewis didn’t have to stray far from home to find his dream. That is the way it goes in the NFL, no mercy and no second chances. Speed kills, in the famous words of the ultimate Raider, Al Davis. You can’t teach speed, he said. Everything else in the game can be taught, but speed is a gift from God.

The NFL preseason fully opens for Week 1 tonight and the schedule has all 32 teams in action with TV and live streaming coverage from the NFL Network for some games, with teams like the Baltimore Ravens, New Orleans Saints, Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, NY Jets, Detroit Lions, Bears, Dolphins, Cowboys and San Diego Chargers in action.

The schedule for Thursday starts with games at 7:30 pm ET starting with the Green Bay Packers visiting the New England Patriots on the NFL Network. The game should have some intrigue with Jimmy Garoppolo getting time with Tom Brady, maybe facing suspension and it will be the first game since the recent hearing between Tom Brady and Hizzoner about the QB’s ban.

The New Orleans Saints and the Baltimore Ravens are also playing at 7:30 pm ET in Maryland, with the NY Jets and the Detroit Lions playing at Ford Field. The Miami Dolphins are at the Chicago Bears, and the Washington Americans are at Cleveland, 8 pm ET. The Dallas Cowboys play the San Diego Chargers in California, and that game will be on the NFL Network starting at 10 pm ET.

The Friday schedule is a full slate as well with the Atlanta Falcons playing the Tennessee Titans on the NFL Network at 7 pm ET. The Panthers and Bills will play in Buffalo at the same time. Pittsburgh and the Jacksonville Jaguars play at 7:30 pm ET in Florida, and the New York Giants play Cincinnati in Paul Brown Stadium.

The late games for Friday include the St. Louis Rams at Oakland, 10 pm ET, and the Denver Broncos play at Seattle, for another Super Bowl rematch on the NFL Network Peyton Manning will be wearing a ballcap instead of a helmet. The Saturday NFL schedule has prime-time games with the Niners taking on Houston in NRG Stadium at 8 pm ET, and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Minnesota Vikings are also playing at 8 pm ET, on the NFL Network. The Kansas City Chiefs and Arizona Cardinals are playing at 9 pm ET.

The Indianapolis Colts and Philadelphia Eagles are playing Sunday at 1 pm ET at Lincoln Financial Field.

Check here for the entire NFL preseason schedule.

BREAKING: NFL adjusts score of AFC title game…

So why not just simulate the entire season and begin the coronation now.  That’s what USA Today did.  They simulated the season — after the free agents have signed, after the rookies have arrived, after the suspensions have been doled out — and appealed to federal court — so that now the NFL’s players can get back to work with training camp. So, now that every team’s circumstances have been solidified — Nate Davis of USA TODAY Sports projected the results of all 256 regular-season games to create one snapshot of how the 2015 season would play out before injuries, firings and Murphy’s Law take their toll.

NFC EAST
Eagles (10-6): Chip Kelly went 10-6 during his first two seasons, why not now? Really, this team’s range for success or failure seems extensive based on how QB Sam Bradford, RB DeMarco Murray, a new-look defense, etc. mesh.
Cowboys (8-8): First month could be telling minus suspended DE Greg Hardy and MLB Rolando McClain as D faces four potentially elite offenses (Giants, Eagles, Falcons, Saints) without DeMarco Murray eating the clock on its behalf.
Giants (6-10): How effective will DE Jason Pierre-Paul be after his accident? Can rookie T Ereck Flowers protect Eli Manning’s blind side? Can they establish the run or even stop it? A lot to figure out no matter how well they chuck it.
Washington Football Club (4-12): Much is riding on how quickly new defensive coordinator Joe Barry and O-line guru Bill Callahan whip their units into shape. Robert Griffin III’s future may be riding on it, especially against two scary fronts (Dolphins, Rams) to start.

NFC NORTH
Packers (12-4): They open on the road against the hated Bears before hosting the Seahawks at home in NFC title game rematch. Two big games to wash bile from last season out of their collective palate while potentially mapping a route to the top seed.
Vikings (10-6): Highly motivated Adrian Peterson should take offense and second-year QB Teddy Bridgewater to a new level, and a potentially stacked defense looks ready to blossom. Schedule gets friendly after Week 5 bye.
Lions (7-9): Last year’s No. 1 run defense sees Adrian Peterson (twice), Marshawn Lynch, Matt Forte, Jamaal Charles in first half minus Ndamukong Suh. We’ll know then, how badly franchise erred (or didn’t) by letting all-pro walk.
Bears (3-13): Defense will look almost entirely different in terms of personnel and scheme. They can only hope QB Jay Cutler looks entirely different from 2014 version, or any version under new coaching staff.

NFC SOUTH
Panthers (11-5): Cam Newton is healthy from a mind, body and bank account perspective. He and his formidable defense will also face just four playoff teams from last season.
Saints (10-6): They lost their final five games at the Superdome in 2014 and still finished 7-9. Don’t expect that streak to continue, especially with a favorable schedule and, theoretically, improved run game and D.
Falcons (4-12): New coach Dan Quinn is probably a long way from accruing the talent and personnel that fit the defensive scheme and philosophy he honed in Seattle. It could be a rough start.  Buy hey, you’ve got Julio Jones and Matt Ryan – so they’ll score touchdowns.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-12): Jameis Winston could begin 1-0 by beating fellow Heisman winner Marcus Mariota in opener. But Bucs play four of next six on road before hitting teeth of their schedule.

NFC WEST
Seahawks (12-4): Open with pair of tough roadies (Rams, Packers) and play three of final five away from comfy CenturyLink Field, so need to make hay in the middle. Week 2 game at Green Bay could determine NFC’s home field.
Rams (10-6): Catch potentially battered Seahawks in opener and may not get full dose of Le’Veon Bell in his Week 3 debut. After Oct. 11 game at Lambeau Field, Rams leave St. Louis once in subsequent five weeks, good time for Nick Foles to find groove.
Cardinals (9-7): Three 1 p.m. ET kickoffs aren’t good news for a team that’s historically struggled on East Coast. But healthy Cards should be in the mix provided new-look defense clicks without Todd Bowles.
49ers (5-11): A schedule that includes the AFC North and NFC North doesn’t look particularly forgiving to a team that lost so many key vets to retirement and is adjusting to regime change as well.

AFC EAST
Patriots (11-5): Remember, they started 2-2 last year with Tom Brady (plus Darrelle Revis, Vince Wilfork and Shane Vereen) in the lineup. Whether Brady plays out of the chute or not, rest of AFC East appeared to close on Pats this offseason.
Bills (10-6): They just missed snapping 15-year playoff drought last year. Are Rex Ryan, LeSean McCoy and Percy Harvin — plus still-loaded on defense — enough to get them back into January?
Dolphins (10-6): They won’t see a playoff team from last year until Week 8, and only two before December. Plenty of time for the Ryan Tannehill-led offense to crest and the Ndamukong Suh-led D to crystallize.
Jets (7-9): Unless QB Geno Smith does an about face, they still look like the division’s weak link. But a defense revitalized by CB Darrelle Revis could be special under new coach Todd Bowles. Overall talent is vastly improved.

Ravens (10-6): Having four offensive coordinators in four seasons (Marc Trestman is the latest) isn’t ideal. But aside from receivers, there’s plenty of continuity throughout lineup. Opening with five of seven on road a major hurdle.
Bengals (9-7): Per usual, they have look of solid outfit not necessarily built for a deep playoff run. Navigating NFC West-laden schedule could even leave them short of another one-and-done postseason.
Steelers (8-8): Defense is undergoing a huge transition and seeking new leaders. Meanwhile, last year’s second-ranked offense won’t have all-pro RB Le’Veon Bell for first two weeks, making league’s toughest schedule more difficult to survive.
Browns (5-11): Soft September opening includes Jets, Titans and Raiders. Only team they’ll see rest of way with a sub-.500 2014 record is the always competitive Rams. Guess here is that Johnny Manziel will get extended tryout by midseason.

Colts (13-3): It seems they’ll again benefit from playing in the league’s weakest division. And if their incremental pattern of success under coach Chuck Pagano and QB Andrew Luck holds, they’ll reach Super Bowl 50.
Texans (6-10): Quarterback aside, they looked fairly formidable elsewhere — until Arian Foster was injured, again. No matter how good the defense is, and Jadeveon Clowney could take it to new level, offense doesn’t seem capable of holding up its end now if Foster is out for long stretch.
Jaguars (6-10): The core of young talent has quickly improved, and this team plays hard for coach Gus Bradley — whose job may be on the line without a spike in the win column.
Titans (4-12): Let’s have some patience with Marcus Mariota, who inherits a last-place schedule that still features trips to New Orleans and the AFC East gauntlet.

AFC WEST
Broncos (10-6): Peyton Manning must learn a new scheme in what could be his final rumba — and he may have to dance frequently behind patchwork O-line. But don’t sleep on a defense that just may carry this team for stretches.
Chargers (9-7): They must deal with three 1 p.m. ET kickoffs … though perhaps being far removed from the siren call of Los Angeles and the inherent rumor mill will help. Rookie RB Melvin Gordon could have dramatic impact.
Chiefs (8-8): With RB Jamaal Charles and OLB Justin Houston, they have a bona fide superstar on each side of the ball. But will either get enough help to make playoff return? O-line’s ability to coalesce may be the key.
Raiders (5-11): The L.A. conundrum also hangs over this franchise. But the foundation is quickly improving, and new coach Jack Del Rio worked some miracles under similar circumstances in Jacksonville.

AFC playoffs
Wild card: (3) Broncos def. (6) Dolphins; (4) Ravens def. (5) Bills

Divisional: (2) Patriots def. (3) Broncos; (1) Colts def. (4) Ravens

AFC Championship Game: (1) Colts def. (2) Patriots

NFC playoffs
Wild card: (6) Rams def. (3) Panthers, (5) Vikings def. (4) Eagles

Divisional: (1) Packers def. (6) Rams; (2) Seahawks def. (5) Vikings

NFC Championship Game: (1) Packers def. (2) Seahawks

Super Bowl 50: Packers def. Colts

Via-USA Today

Greased Lightning Round 2

#21 in your program, #1 in your hearts

 

1. Primetime tonight…It’s sweeps week for the NFL as their year-long reality show finally answers the question – Who’s got the best Mock-draft.0?  Only in ‘Murica is a labor force not permitted to speak freely to a prospective employer whenever there’s an opening.  One level below, that same workforce was free to accept any scholarship offer, but that’s just the kind of stand-in-the-way-business the NFL has been known for since ’35.  Besides, they know you’re gonna watch.  The only two reasons to watch; is to pretend you have any idea who your team should take and hope your team has a clue drafting that guy – or more importantly, like me, laugh at the pick the teams you despise just selected.  Yelling such low-brow things like: idiots!, hillbillies!, oh’yeah!?, and c’mere’a’minute.  Perfect for when the Broncos select a Kicker in the 1st round.  If you’re there next to that fan, look closely between your hysterical-hyena laughing, to notice they will begin to look like some sort of pig being eaten alive by meat-bats!

YOUR TEAM’S PICKS:

Dallas Cowboys — 27th (first round), 28th (second), 27th (third), 28th (fourth), 27th (fifth), 19th from San Diego (seventh), 26th from Baltimore (seventh).

New York Giants — 9th (first round), 8th (second), 10th (third), 9th (fourth), 8th (fifth), 10th (sixth), 9th (seventh), 28th from Denver (seventh).

Philadelphia Eagles — 20th (first round), 20th (second), 20th (third), 14th from San Francisco through Buffalo (fourth), 9th from St. Louis (fifth).

Chicago Bears — 7th (first round), 7th (second), 7th (third), 7th (fourth), 6th from Jets (fifth), 7th (sixth).

Detroit Lions — 23rd (first round), 22nd (second), 24th (third), 24th (sixth), 14th from Miami through Baltimore (seventh), 23rd (seventh).

Minnesota Vikings — 11th (first round), 13th (second round), 12th (third round), 11th (fourth), 1st from Tampa Bay through Buffalo (fifth), 11th (seventh), 15th from San Francisco through Miami (seventh).

Buffalo Bills — 18th (second round), 17th (third), 19th (fifth) 12th from Minnesota (sixth), 18th (sixth), 17th (seventh).

Miami Dolphins — 14th (first round), 15th (second), 15th (third), 13th from Minnesota (fifth), 14th (fifth), 15th (sixth).

New York Jets — 6th (first round), 5th (second), 6th (third), 5th (fourth), 6th (seventh), 7th (seventh).

Baltimore Ravens — 26th (first round), 26th (second), 26th (third), 23rd from Detroit (fourth), 26th (fourth), 37th compensatory (fourth), 22nd from Detroit (fifth), 35th compensatory (fifth), 40th compensatory (fifth), 28th from Dallas (sixth).

Cincinnati Bengals — 21st (first round), 21st (second), 21st (third), 35th compensatory (third), 21st (fourth), 36th compensatory (fourth), 21st (fifth), 21st (sixth), 22nd (seventh).

Cleveland Browns — 12th (first round), 19th from Buffalo (first), 11th (second), 13th (third), 12th (fourth), 16th from Buffalo (fourth), 11th (fifth), 13th (sixth), 26th from Baltimore (sixth), 12th (seventh).

Pittsburgh Steelers — 22nd (first round), 24th (second) 23rd (third), 22nd (fourth), 24th (fifth), 23rd (sixth), 36th compensatory (sixth), 22nd (seventh).

Atlanta Falcons — 8th (first round), 10th (second), 9th (third), 8th (fourth), 10th (fifth), 9th (sixth), 8th (seventh), 32nd from New England through St Louis (seventh).

Carolina Panthers — 25th (first round), 25th (second), 25th (third), 25th (fourth), 25th (fifth), 33rd compensatory (fifth), 38th compensatory (fifth), 25th (sixth), 25th (seventh).

Houston Texans — 16th (first round), 19th second), 18th (third), 17th (fourth), 16th (fifth), 39th compensatory (fifth), 19th (sixth), 35th compensatory (sixth), 40th compensatory (sixth), 18th (seventh).

Indianapolis Colts — 29th (first round), 29th (second), 29th (third), 29th (fourth), 29th (fifth), 29th (sixth), 31st from Seattle (sixth), 27th from Dallas (seventh), 38th compensatory (seventh).

Tennessee Titans — 2nd (first round), 1st (second), 2nd (third), 1st (fourth), 2nd (fifth), 1st (sixth), 32nd (sixth).

Arizona Cardinals — 24th (first round), 23rd (second), 22nd (third), 24th (fourth), 23rd (fifth), 22nd (sixth), 24th (seventh), 39th compensatory (seventh).

St Louis Rams — 10th (first round), 9th (second), 8th (third), 20th from Philadelphia (fourth), 39th compensatory (sixth), 10th (seventh).

Seattle Seahawks — 31st (second round), 31st (third), 13th from New Orleans (fourth), 31st (fourth), 35th compensatory (fourth), 31st (fifth), 34th compensatory (fifth), 5th from Jets (sixth), 33rd compensatory (sixth), 38th compensatory (sixth), 31st (seventh).

Denver Broncos — 28th (first round), 27th (second), 28th (third), 34th compensatory (fourth), 7th from Chicago (fifth), 28th (fifth), 27th (sixth), 33rd compensatory (seventh), 34th compensatory (seventh), 35th compensatory (seventh).

Oakland Raiders — 4th (first round), 3rd (second), 4th (third), 3rd (fourth), 4th (fifth), 3rd (sixth), 4th (seventh).

Washington Redskins — 5th (first round), 6th (second), 5th (third), 6th (fourth), 5th (fifth), 6th (sixth), 5th (seventh).

Jacksonville Jaguars — 3rd (first round), 4th (second), 3rd (third), 4th (fourth), 3rd (fifth), 4th (sixth), 3rd (seventh).

San Diego Chargers — 17th (first round), 16th (second), 19th (third), 18th (fourth), 17th (fifth), 16th (sixth).

Tampa Bay Buccaneers — 1st (first round), 2nd (second), 1st (third), 10h (fourth), 26th (fifth), 32nd (fifth), 8th (sixth), 2nd (seventh).

New England Patriots — 32nd (first round), 32nd (second), 32nd (third), 2nd (fourth), 32nd (fourth), 2nd (sixth), 1st (seventh).

San Francisco 49ers — 15th (first round), 14th (second), 15th (third), 27th (fourth), 15th (fifth), 14th (sixth), 29th (seventh).

New Orleans Saints — 13th (first round), 31st (first), 12th (second), 11th (third), 12th (fifth), 11th (sixth), 11th (seventh).

Kansas City Chiefs — 18th (first round), 17th (second), 16th (third), 19th (fourth), 18th (fifth), 17th (sixth), 16th (seventh).

Green Bay Packers — 30th (first round), 30th (second), 30th (third), 30th (fourth), 30th (fifth), 30th (sixth), 30th (seventh)


 

 

2. Daddy says dice are wicked!…For the truly degenerate, here are some prop bets for the NFL Draft tonight/weekend…I’ll talk with my attorney and see who he likes, maybe post his picks later…

  • Who will be the No. 1 selection (Bovada)

    Jameis Winston (-1000)
    Marcus Mariota (+350)
    Any other player (+1200)

    Who will be the No. 2 selection (Bovada)

    Jameis Winston (+500)
    Marcus Mariota (-300)
    Dante Fowler Jr (+1000)
    Leonard Williams (+700)
    Any Other Player (+500)

    Marcus Mariota will be drafted by the Titans (Sportsbook)

    Yes (-140)
    No (EVEN)

    How many teams will trade up for 1st round pick on Day 1? (Sportsbook)

    Over 2.5 (-400)
    Under 2.5 (+270)

    Draft Position: Amari Cooper (Bovada)

    OVER 5.5 (+200)
    UNDER 5.5 (-300)

    Draft Position: Kevin White (Bovada)

    OVER 7 (-120)
    UNDER 7 (-120)

    Draft Position: Todd Gurley (Bovada)

    OVER 12.5 (-120)
    UNDER 12.5 (-120)

    Draft Position: Melvin Gordon (Bovada)

    OVER 22.5 (-120)
    UNDER 22.5 (-120)

    Draft Position: Dante Fowler (Bovada)

    OVER 3.5 (-200)
    UNDER 3.5 (+150)

    How many Running Backs will be drafted in the 1st Round? (Bovada)

    OVER 1.5 (-500)
    UNDER 1.5 (+300)

    How many Wide Receivers will be drafted in the 1st Round? (Bovada)

    OVER 5.5 (-140)
    UNDER 5.5 (+150)

    How many Quarterbacks will be drafted in the 1st Round? (Sportsbook)

    OVER 2.5 (+300)
    UNDER 2.5 (-450)

    Mr. Irrelevant: Last player drafted will be (Kickers = Offense / Punter = Defense):

    Offensive player (-105)
    Defensive player (-105)


3. It’s dignity! Gah! Don’t you even know dignity when you see it?  The Grizzlies take care of the ‘Blazers – the Hawks held off the Nets – will the Bulls escape the Bucks and can we please have 7 games with the Spurs and Clippers?  I will watch the NBA tonight more than the draft, because there is this thing called Twitter that I can get the info I need about the NFL, or just read about it tomorrow – because what I want tonight is a Clippers win.  I want 7 games.  I’ll take a Bucks win too, just to see Chicago choke.  Just like the Detroit s#*^Wings!

 

DiRT Poor

Never noticed how much Ryan Leaf looks like Matt Ryan

It has been said that the NFL stands for (N)ot (F)or (L)ong – so I thought we could look at the biggest (NFL)’s by each team, list is compiled by Charlie Campbell.  Be careful, these busts could bring up past feelings of hurt and woe…Let me know if I missed anyone – what are your thoughts?

AFC NORTH

Baltimore Ravens: Kyle Boller (Cal) – 19th-Overall Pick, 2003
This pick didn’t hurt as bad because the Ravens took Terrell Suggs a few picks earlier. But as good as Suggs has been, it doesn’t change the fact that Boller was a bust. The Ravens gave him every opportunity to be the starter, but he couldn’t get the job done and was only a backup-caliber player. The painful part of the Boller pick was it wasted some great years from a Baltimore defense that had Hall of Famers in their prime and may have won more championships with a quality quarterback.

Cleveland Browns: Brady Quinn (ND) – 22nd-Overall Pick, 2007
There were a lot of options to pick from like Courtney Brown and Tim Couch, but Brown had his career ruined by injuries while Couch had a bad team around him. Honestly, Couch’s career numbers aren’t that bad. Quinn on the other hand, started only 12 games in three years. He was inaccurate in college, but that was ignored by Cleveland, and he completed less than 54 percent of his passes as a pro. Quinn threw 10 touchdowns as a Brown and was overmatched in the NFL. Considering the Browns gave up a lot to move up for him, Quinn is the worst draft pick in Cleveland’s history.

Cincinnati Bengals: Akili Smith (Oregon) – 3rd-Overall Pick, 1999
The Bengals took a 1-year wonder in Smith, and he went on to have a 3-14 record as a starter for Cincinnati. Smith completed only 47 percent of his passes with five touchdowns and 13 interceptions. Across four years, he appeared in 22 games before the Bengals cut him and he never got a shot with another teams. Cincinnati passed on some great players like Edgerrin James, Torry Holt, Champ Bailey and Jevon Kearse when it took Smith. Smith was taken instead of Daunte Culpepper, so the Bengals had a mistake in their quarterback evaluation as well.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Tim Worley (UGA) – 7th-Overall Pick, 1989
Worley was billed to be a great back out of Georgia ready to be a Herschel Walker-type player in the NFL. However, Worley only lasted four years with the Steelers and never could average four yards per carry in any season where he had a significant amount of carries. Worley also had a huge fumble in the 1989 playoffs. He was a painful top-10 pick who was a huge bust for the Steelers.

AFC SOUTH

Houston Texans: Travis Johnson (FSU) – 16th-Overall Pick, 2005
This was a tough call between Johnson and Okoye, but Okoye has managed to stick in the league even though he became a journeyman. Johnson started 38 games in four years and had only two sacks for the Texans. He ended being given away to the Chargers and didn’t turn his career around in San Diego. The Texans don’t have a long draft history, but Johnson stands out as their worse pick.

Indianapolis Colts: Jeff George (Illinois) – 1st-Overall Pick, 1990
You could argue that John Elway should be this pick. He refused to play for the Colts and forced a trade to Denver, but Elway was still a great choice considering the kind of player he became. George (the first Jay Cutler) was also a first-overall pick, but he had a terrible run with the Colts. It also hurt that Indianapolis traded away Andre Rison and Chris Hinton, two Pro Bowlers, to move up for George. The Colts lost a lot of games with George at quarterback. This deal set the franchise back a few years.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Blaine Gabbert (Mizzou) – 10th-Overall Pick, 2011
The Jaguars don’t have a great draft history, but Gabbert was a painful draft pick who will impact Jacksonville for a 10-year stretch. The reason is J.J. Watt went one pick later to the Texans. Gabbert was an awful quarterback. As one source said coaching Gabbert, “I don’t know how to coach a player to have physical courage.” Gabbert was afraid of being hit and that led to terrible quarterback play. He also blamed his teammates for his own shortcomings and was dubbed ‘Blame’ Gabbert in the Jacksonville locker room. To make matters even worse, the Jaguars traded from No. 16 to No. 10 and dealt a second-day pick to take Gabbert.  He now plays for San Francisco and will probably start for ol-what’s-his-name.

Tennessee Titans: Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones (WV) – 6th-Overall Pick, 2005
The Titans ignored the character concerns that were apparent with Jones before the draft and took the troubled cornerback anyway. He played well early in his career with the Titans before his off-the-field issues destroyed the promise he once had in his career. Jones earned a year-long suspension from the NFL and lasted only two seasons in Tennessee before the organization cut its losses and sent him packing.  He has become decent for Cincinnati, with no issues that we know of.

AFC EAST

Buffalo Bills: Mike Williams (Texas) – 4th-Overall Pick, 2002
Williams was a mega bust in Buffalo in large part because of a poor work ethic. He was moved around from right tackle to left tackle to guard and defensive tackle. Williams had the starting left tackle job taken from him by an undrafted player in Jason Peters. To make matters worse, 2002 was a strong draft in which the Bills passed on the likes of Bryant McKinnie, Quinton Jammer, Dwight Freeney, John Henderson and Albert Haynesworth for Williams. Taking Williams instead of Mount McKinnie was a huge error in player evaluation.

Miami Dolphins: Ted Ginn Jr. (OhioSt) – 9th-Overall Pick, 2007
The Dolphins were wise to pass on Brady Quinn, but taking a poor receiver and only a returner with a top-10 pick was terrible decision-making. It was a painful pick as Ginn was taken instead of some studs like Patrick Willis, Marshawn Lynch and Darrelle Revis. Ginn didn’t last long in Miami before becoming a journeyman. The drafting of Ginn did lead to one of the most hilarious quotes in recent draft history when then Dolphins coach Cam Cameron said the team was not only getting Ginn, but they were getting his family as well. Ginn and his family didn’t prevent the Dolphins from landing the No. 1 overall pick in 2008 and almost going winless in 2007.

New England Patriots: Ken Sims (Texas) – 1st-Overall Pick, 1982
Sims never lived up to the hype and was known as a player who wouldn’t practice. That earned him the nickname of “Game Day” because he said that is when he would show up. However, Sims collected only 17 sacks in his career and missed a lot of games. He was taken a few picks ahead of Jim McMahon, who beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few years later. TNew England also passed on Marcus Allen and Mike Munchak in the top 10 for Sims.

New York Jets: Kyle Brady (PaSt) – 9th-Overall Pick, 1995
The Jets provide the problem of a lot of options to choose from including Vernon Gholston, Roger Vick(RB-TexAM) and Mike Nugent. However, Brady is the worst pick in franchise history. With the fans in New York chanting for Warren Sapp to be the pick, the Jets passed on the future Hall of Famer for a blocking tight end with the ninth pick. New York already had a good tight end on the roster in Johnny Mitchell, so this pick was stupid in so many different ways.

AFC WEST

Denver Broncos: Tommy Maddox (UCLA) – 25th-Overall Pick, 1992
This pick made zero sense. The Broncos had John Elway in the prime of his great Hall of Fame career, yet spent a first-round pick on a backup quarterback. Maddox was a bust in the NFL before rehabbing a year in the XFL and then having some success as the quarterback for the Steelers. Maddox wasn’t a bad player, but this has to be one of the most questionable first-rounders in NFL draft history.  This was more about the arrogance of Dan Reeves telling Elway who runs this team by not drafting the WR Elway wanted.

Kansas City Chiefs: Todd Blackledge (PaSt) – 7th-Overall Pick, 1983
Blackledge was the dud of the 1983 NFL Draft’s famed quarterback class. The Chiefs took him instead of Jim Kelly or Dan Marino, who went later to the Bills and Dolphins respectively. Even lesser quarterbacks like Tony Eason and Ken O’Brien had some success for their teams. Blackledge never put together success for the Chiefs, and the quarterbacks they passed on for him made it even more painful. Taking Blackledge was the worst pick in franchise history.  But has become the best announcer in the QB class of ’83 – which is nice.

Oakland Raiders: JaMarcus Russell (LSU) – 1st-Overall Pick, 2007
This was an easy choice. Russell was viewed to be a future superstar with his huge size and one of the strongest arms to come into the NFL this century – except for those that saw him play regularly in college, calling him peanut-head. He was a disaster from the get-go as he had a rookie holdout that started the quick tailspin of his career. Russell got overweight and out of shape, plus demonstrated a poor work ethic. He also had a problem with codeine-infused cough syrup. In 31 starts, Russell completed 52 percent of his passes with 18 touchdowns and 23 interceptions. He didn’t take his NFL career seriously and was unable to get another shot with another team after the Raiders conceded he was a lost cause. Considering a couple potential Hall of Famers went right after Russell in Calvin Johnson and Joe Thomas, Russell is easily the worst pick in franchise history. The Raiders also passed on Darrelle Revis, Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch and Patrick Willis with that pick.

San Diego Chargers: Ryan Leaf (Wazzu) – 2nd-Overall Pick, 1998
After playing well in his first two games, Leaf became perhaps the most epic bust in NFL history. He threw interceptions consistently and was unable to handle being a professional athlete. Leaf went through screaming matches with general manager Bobby Beathard and blew up at a reporter to such a degree that the clip is, to this day, shown regularly on NFL Network. Leaf threw 36 interceptions with only 14 touchdown passes over 21 starts while completing only 48 percent of his passes. The pick of Leaf is easily the biggest bust in San Diego’s draft history.  It also wouldn’t be the only time Ryan Leaf and bust would be written in the same sentence.

NFC NORTH

Chicago Bears: Curtis Enis (PaSt) – 5th-Overall Pick, 1998
Ryan Leaf wasn’t the only mega bust of 1998. Andre Wadsworth and Grant Wistrom were also major disappointments. The Bears took Enis in the top 10, and he was a massive miss for Chicago. It was a terrible evaluation as Fred Taylor was taken a few picks later by the Jaguars. Enis didn’t have the speed to be an effective back in the NFL, and injuries put him on the sideline a lot as well. He only lasted three seasons with Chicago and was a mega bust for the Bears.

Detroit Lions: Joey Harrington (Oregon) – 3rd-Overall Pick, 2002
There are a lot to pick from here including Mike Williams(usc), Charles Rogers(MichSt), Andre Ware(Houston) and Reggie Rogers(UW), but Harrington stands out because he was a huge bust and a mega reach at the time. The Lions forced the pick of Harrington, who was completely overmatched in the NFL. Not only was he ineffective on the field, sources say that Harrington was a terrible teammate and hated in the Detroit locker room. Harrington ended the coaching career of Steve Mariucci as the Detroit brass forced Harrington on Mariucci.  It could also be said that the hiring of Mariucci is included, #overrated.

Green Bay Packers: Tony Mandarich (MichSt) – 2nd-Overall Pick, 1989
This was an easy choice. Mandarich was a mega bust for the Packers as the steroid freak never lived up to his billing. He was an ineffective blocker after being labelled as one of the best offensive line prospects ever. To make matters even more painful, Green Bay took Mandarich instead of Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas or Deion Sanders. This is one of the biggest draft busts, and one of the worst picks, in the history of the NFL when you consider the Packers passed on three Hall of Famers.

Minnesota Vikings: Troy Williamson (SCar) – 7th-Overall Pick, 2005
The Vikings traded away Randy Moss in his prime and replaced him with Williamson. He was massive disappointment as he only played three seasons for Minnesota. Williamson notched only three touchdowns with the Vikings and didn’t have a single season of 40 receptions or 500 yards. He barely played in two seasons with the Jaguars before he was out of the NFL. The Vikings compounded the Moss mistake by trading a second-day pick for him when he was clearly on the decline. Having Williamson go bust helped lead to that second mistake.

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons: Jamaal Anderson (Arkansas) – 8th-Overall Pick, 2007
Falcons then general manager Rich McKay made an awful selection of Anderson, and that helped lead to McKay being “demoted” to just team president and losing control of shaping the Atlanta roster. Anderson was terrible in his time as a Falcon and completely ineffective. A few picks after Anderson was picked, Atlanta saw Patrick Willias, Marshawn Lynch and Darrelle Revis get snatched up. This was an epic failure for the Falcons, but the silver lining was it led to Thomas Dimitroff and Mike Smith taking over, and Matt Ryan to come with them.

Carolina Panthers: Rae Carruth (CU) – 27th-Overall Pick, 1997
This was a tough pick with Jason Peter (Neb) and Tim Biakabutuka (Mich). The latter dealt with injuries that robbed him of his career, but the Panthers passed on Eddie George for him. Peter just flat out stunk. Carruth though is the worst pick in franchise history because character concerns were ignored in his selection. A few years later, Carruth had his pregnant girlfriend murdered.

New Orleans Saints: Jonathan Sullivan (UGA) – 6th-Overall Pick, 2003
The Saints had two first-round picks in the 2003 NFL Draft and traded both of them to move up and select Sullivan. He was an epic bust as he had only 1.5 sacks in three seasons with New Orleans. He was given away to the Patriots, but they didn’t tolerate Sullivan long before cutting him, and he was out of the NFL within four years of being drafted. To make matters worse, the Saints passed on Vikings/Seahawks great defensive tackle Kevin Williams when they took Sullivan.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Freeman (KState)- 17th-Overall Pick, 2009
This was a tough call as Eric Curry, Keith McCants, and Reidel Anthony were all huge disappointments. However, the Josh Freeman pick from 2009 unceremoniously ended a successful stretch for Tampa Bay. Since the Bucs busted on Freeman, they have gone 30-66 with zero playoff appearances. The only team worse in that stretch is the Jaguars at 29-67. Freeman had one good season in 2010 from smoke and mirrors used by offensive coordinator Greg Olson, but Freeman had accuracy issues in college that were completely ignored by general manager Mark Dominik. Those problems persisted and led to Freeman completely falling apart while throwing lots of interceptions. He also developed off-the-field problems and lost his focus on football. The pick of Freeman set the franchise back.

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys: Kevin Brooks (Mich) – 17th-Overall Pick, 1985
Dallas wanted to take Jerry Rice with the pick used on Brooks, but the 49ers traded up and beat them to the punch. That made the Brooks pick especially painful as Rice is one of the greatest players in the history of the NFL while Brooks had 12.5 sacks in four seasons with the Cowboys. They dropped him, and he didn’t do much with the Lions in two seasons.

New York Giants: Dave Brown (Duke) – 1991 Supplemental Draft 1st-Round Pick
This was a tough choice with Cedric Jones, Ron Dayne and William Joseph all being contenders. However, the Giants used a first-round pick on Brown to replace Phil Simms and Jeff Hostetler. Brown started for a few years, but he couldn’t complete 60 percent of his passes and threw more interceptions than touchdowns. The Giants moved on from him, and Brown was ineffective for the Cardinals. He is perhaps the biggest bust in the history of the New York Giants.

Philadelphia Eagles: Leroy Keyes (Purdue) – 3rd-Overall Pick, 1969
Keyes was a very painful pick. The Steelers took Joe Greene one pick later and he went on to dominate the NFL. Keyes ran for only 369 yards and three touchdowns in his NFL career. Another Hall of Famer and a half-dozen pro bowlers were selected after Keyes went off the board to the Eagles. It was a very regrettable draft for the Eagles.  Tebow will help them forget.

Washington Redskins: Desmond Howard (Mich) – 4th-Overall Pick, 1992
Howard was supposed to follow the great trio of Art Monk, Gary Clark and Ricky Sanders as the next great Redskins receiver. However, Howard was terrible as a wideout and was only useful on special teams. In three seasons with the Redskins, Howard caught just 10 passes. Washington also traded up giving away two first-rounders and a third-round pick to move from No. 6 to No. 4 and leap frog Green Bay. Howard ended up helping the Packers to win a Super Bowl after the Redskins dumped him.

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals: Andre Wadsworth (FSU) – 3rd-Overall Pick, 1998
Wadsworth was a great college player, but he didn’t even last four years in the NFL. To make matters worse, Charles Woodson went one pick later along with some other good players like Fred Taylor, Takeo Spikes and Tra Thomas. Wadsworth had only eight sacks in three years for the Cardinals. He isn’t remembered as much because Ryan Leaf went one pick ahead of him, but he was still a huge bust for Arizona.

San Francisco 49ers: Jim Druckenmiller (VaTech) – 26th-Overall Pick, 1997
You could consider Lance Alworth (HOF) since he signed with the Oakland Raiders of the AFL instead of San Francisco. Druckenmiller though marked the downturn of the 49ers’ dynasty. This was a pathetic first-round pick as Miller only started one game for the team and was dumped after two seasons. He was with Miami in 1999 before falling out of the NFL. Druckenmiller was supposed to replace Steve Young, but San Francisco was lucky that it signed Jeff Garcia. While Garcia didn’t win a championship, he got the 49ers to the postseason a few times and wasn’t inept like Druckenmiller.  Moral of the Story, the downturn begins again and this time it’s for real.

Seattle Seahawks: Dan McGwire (SDSU) – 16th-Overall Pick, 1991
This was a tough call between McGwire and Aaron Curry, but quarterback busts are always more painful. Those epic missteps also can lead to series of losing seasons and other desperate moves at the quarterback position. That was the case with McGwire. After he went bust, the Seahawks had another one in Rick Mirer while trying to replace McGwire. McGwire only threw two touchdowns, six interceptions and 745 yards in his NFL career. He only lasted four seasons in Seattle with only five starts.

St. Louis Rams: Lawrence Phillips (Neb) – 6th-Overall Pick, 1996
Phillips was supposed to be the feature player for Dick Vermeil’s St. Louis resurgence, but Phillips was a mega bust on and off the field. He ran for just over 630 yards in back-to-back seasons before the Rams admitted that he was a sunk cost and got rid of him. Phillips flamed out in Miami and San Francisco before his off-the-field problems landed him in prison. Phillips’ horrible character was evident at Nebraska but the Rams drafted him anyway. There was no excuse to take him, and the organization should have known better.  He is the yardstick that all red-flags are measured, or at least should be.