What No One Tells You About Becoming a Fan

name of site - hunter thompson style

Detroit Lions fan Ward Elliot of Livonia yells out

Photo: Diane Weiss, DFP

1. But, you’re a Lions Fan…

Do you suffer from too many emotions?  Is constant disappointment a side effect of you having too much HOPE?  Does your face hurt from smiling once in a while?  If you have been emotionally vacant since 2008 – then Become A Lions Fan.  Think of all you get to endure, all you will have to tolerate…

Last Night, you were one-yard away from not having to hear anymore about the 12th man.  One Yard away from not having to hear anymore about Russell Wilson – who’s no Colin Kaepernick.  Then, as per usual for you – defeat, snatched from the jaws of victory.  It’s enough to make you scream – “WHAT ARE THE LIONS DOING ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL?!”  So goes life as a Lions Fan.   1957 is not just the last title the team has – it is a garage code for you.  Typically all that’s left is the Thanksgiving Game, today hurts – maybe just watch some more highlights of Barry Sanders – Yeah, that’ll help, cuz he played for you!  Just try not to smile too much, after-all, you’re at the quarter-pole of 0-16.


2. Straight Ca$h Homie…

Another successful week for us and our members.  Case in point: Using our delicious info, a friend of the site won $20,000 and a free trip last week – that is prettay, prettaay, prettaaay good.  As the week goes on, DC*3PO gets smarter and smarter, he was 67% ATS – check it out – www.theDiRTCanon.com – sign up and let us Teach You How To #Win – here are the Perfect Lineups for week 4, at least for Detroit Fan, you had the best D:

fanduel

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draftkings

DK_perfectL_wk4


3. Mattingly, Shave those Side-Burns…

Sure it might be gimmicky, but it is meaningful baseball and tonight the gimmick begins.  The result is bigger than a Loyalty Quiz for Red Sox Fans for Playoff Tickets.  It is bigger than the Smugness of Being a Cardinals Fan.  It’s the chance to #win the World Series.  The newest gimmick, corrects the original gimmick of the Wild Card – all because the Giants also won 100 games, but the Braves won the division and it was viewed as a wrong that needed to be corrected.  Just as this one-game, play-in, corrects the original sin of the Wild Card team – meaning it should be more important and rewarding to win your division.  If you didn’t?  We’ll give you a title-shot, but you are now at a disadvantage, and just as importantly, it creates drama that seems to be missing far too often from the viewpoint of those, who do not love this game.

  • Pennants Pursued – Whether Beane’s view of his job is completely accurate or not, most analysts agree on his main point……(continue reading)

    “My sh*t doesn’t work in the playoffs,” Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane once said. “My job is to get us to the playoffs. What happens after that is f***ing luck.”


4. Addiction is a Cruel Bitch

AL Wild Card: ASTROS @ YANKEES – ESPN 8p EST

It seems weird to see the Yankees celebrate a Wild Card berth.  Sure, it is the postseason, but we view the Yankees as better than that.  Of course, it is a marvel that the Yankees were able to get to this point.  We thought back in Spring Training, that this season would be a whirlwind of circus proportions, dealing with A-Rod and an aging player-base, that also had suspect pitching.  Yet, here they are, and without CC Sabathia.

It’s a monumental under-taking for Sabathia to admit and admit himself to get help.  Today will not be the most difficult thing that CC will have to go thru – everyday will be the most difficult – and how crushing must it be to go thru this, with the feeling that you have let your team down, as much as you have let yourself and your family down.  Best of luck to you CC.

But, there is still a game to play and it looks as if we are watching two teams headed in different directions.  To me the best player on the field will be Carlos Correa, but the story will be Dallas Keuchel.  Dallas, a 20-game winner…pitching on short rest…for the first time…in the Bronx Zoo…For all the young Astros this will be an event like no other, and regardless of the outcome, will be a huge step in how they grow the next few years into possible champions.  The Astros may have ran out of gas at the end, but there is no doubt they belong and they might be playing October baseball more frequently in the future.

 

3rd Stone from the Sun

There are many hard lessons to be learned from the “degenerate” experience, but the harshest one of them all is the difference between having Fun and being Smart.  It is the difference between Winning and Losing, on most days, and on Saturday the Final Four will be a lesson for fun-loving Losers.  It does not matter if you have Wisconsin or Michigan St winning it all.  Nor does it matter if you have Duke or Kentucky – the line for both games is 5 and if anyone tells you they know how it all plays out with certainty, well…you’ve been warned.

Saturday has never been kind or forgiving to these people.  They are taught all their lives that Saturday Night is when even idiots can cut loose and take risks that would be out of the question on any other night.  Get drunk, shoot guns, dance naked in public, or even crouch in your basement and hack into the NSA database…

If Sunday is the Lord’s day, then Saturday belongs to the devil.  It is the only night of the week when he gives out Free-passes to the Freak Show at the Too Much Fun Club.  Not everyone believes this, of course, and the doubters are not without wisdom.  However, it is no accident that Dog-Racing Tracks do phenomenal business on Saturday, or that people swarm into nightclubs and dance to a fevered beat.  Why not? At least they all have plenty of company…

Even the Jails become more crowded, and the lines are long at the neighborhood ATM.  Nobody feels guilty for things that happen on Saturday – not even the ones who fly off to Las Vegas and get married at Midnight by a Preacher who claims to be Elvis and fondles the bride while he talks.  What the hell, right?  It goes with the territory these days.  We are Modern People and we like to do Modern Things.  That is dangerous gibberish in some circles, and the “Degenerate Fraternity” is one of them.  There is nothing modern about doing dumb things for dumb reasons, and nothing new about the feelings of shame and disgrace that come down on people who think it is “Fun” to bet the outcome of Wrestlemania.

Or how much “Fun” it is to bet the Opening Day of baseball – who has the time or energy to breakdown spring-training games to evaluate whether or not the Rockies will avoid losing by more than 1.5 runs to the Brewers on Monday.  But, all that matters in the sports-gaming business is the score at the end of the day and winning at least 2 out of 3 – lest your wife files for divorce and strange men in black suits show up and kick down your door at night.

Take last night’s Suns v Warriors game as an example.  The first 47 minutes was not much to look at.  Kind of like that girl who doesn’t wear makeup and then suddenly decides to dress up and you can’t take your eyes off her in the last minute.  The Suns and Warriors traded leads in the last 26 seconds, 4 times.  Only to see Chef Curry bust a 3 – free salsa for everyone!  It’s a game like that, that is Fun to watch, a hospital stay to bet.


The Smart play, however, is that Steph Curry will be the MVP.  He’s the best player, on the best team, that could finish one loss shy of equaling the 95-96 Bulls and their 70-12 record.  The other guys? NO shot.  Except James Harden, he does deserve it.  The way he has scored 30+ points in a game 33 times.  The way he has had to lift his entire team, alone.  It’s impressive and it seems on a night-by-night basis both Harden and Curry trade metaphorical blows trying to knock the other guy out from the race.  It says something about the Warriors championship aspirations by continuing to grind out W’s when they don’t need them – their position is secured.  Jason Whitlock said on PTI yesterday, that watching the ballet between Curry and Harden was reminiscent of Ali/Frazier.  Harden being relentless, the power player that wants to punish you with drives to the basket.   While Curry is the Wizard that floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee.  The parallels are spooky, and the Smart thing would be to see them matched up in the playoffs.

Let’s all have more Fun, and have faith in a government that reaches a nuclear framework with Iran as John Boehner sips Netanyahu-Jockstrap-Tea in Israel; accept that on the same day we remember the first Zombie, it will also be the death-a-versary of Kurt Cobain‘s murder-suicide 21 years ago; trust that Ken Griffey Jr doubled in his first at-bat against Dave Stewart today in 1989; regard the Pony Express debuted today in 1860; admit Jesse James was shot by that coward Robert Ford today in 1882; swallow that Annie Hall beat Star Wars for best picture today in 1978, and affirm the Unabomber was arrested today in 1996.  Sunday is the Lord’s day and we shall use it to reflect upon the final Saturday of college basketball, feast on Easter ham, and welcome the start of baseball – Amen, Hallelujah – where’s the aspirin?

DiRTy Plays Tuesday

March 17th, 2015

News & Notes:

Below you will find a Free Roll that we have put together with DraftKings that is designed for only beginners.  You can click on any game, banner or highlighted phrase to be taken to the proper location.  This means if you have NEVER played on Draftkings before tonight is your night.  It cost you nothing to enter and if you click here or just go to our DiRTy Plays Week of March 16th page we will tell you how to win at this contest.  Once you win some money tonight, come back and visit us next week as our lineup optimizer will be ready for you to use and not only will we will analyze your daily DiRTy plays for DraftKings but Fan Duel as well, we always provide insight into why you should stick with certain players.  If you need some instructions on how to play on either DraftKings click here and for Fan Duel click here.  We will be adding a new segment next week that will also outline some of those guys that you should shy away from and why that is so look for that new segment.  Now let us me show you how we are doing as we don’t just provide info we play too so yes, we put our money where our mouth is so you can trust our analysis and results thereafter.

SPECIAL PROMOTIONS

DraftKings is having a HUGE NCAA Tournament, just click this link and enter now and win big.

DraftKings players Special PromotionFirst-time depositors are now receiving a free $3 voucher for any sport, instead of a free $2 voucher, along with their first-time deposit bonus. As a result, our “big” low entry fee tournaments are now $3 (example: the daily $2 NBA Layup is now a much smaller contest in terms of payouts, and the daily $3 NBA Sharp Shooter is the bigger tournament in its place).

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 16th, 2015 are $2,317
  • Profit for the week of March 16th is a total of $10.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.

Fan Duel Top Tournament Results:

March16_3 March16_2 March16_1

  • We post results from Tuesday through Friday!


DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 16th, 2015 are $533.57
  • Profit for the week of March 16th i$3.00

Results from Draftkings 

March16_4

  • We post results from Tuesday through Friday

Games to Play Tonight


Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.

DiRTy Plays Monday

March 16th, 2015

News & Notes:

Below you will find a Free Roll that we have put together with DraftKings that is designed for only beginners.  You can click on any game, banner or highlighted phrase to be taken to the proper location.  This means if you have NEVER played on Draftkings before tonight is your night.  It cost you nothing to enter and if you click here or just go to our DiRTy Plays Week of March 16th page we will tell you how to win at this contest.  Once you win some money tonight, come back and visit us next week as our lineup optimizer will be ready for you to use and not only will we will analyze your daily DiRTy plays for DraftKings but Fan Duel as well, we always provide insight into why you should stick with certain players.  We will be adding a new segment next week that will also outline some of those guys that you should shy away from and why that is so look for that new segment.  Now let us me show you how we are doing as we don’t just provide info we play too so yes, we put our money where our mouth is so you can trust our analysis and results thereafter.

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 15th, 2015 are $2,307
  • Profit for the week of March 9th was a total of $449.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.

Fan Duel Top Tournament Results:

  • Check back tomorrow as we post results from Tuesday through Friday!


DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 15th, 2015 are $533.57
  • Profit for the week of March 9th was $69.42

Results from Draftkings 

  • Check back tomorrow as we post results from Tuesday through Friday

Games to Play Tonight


Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.

DiRTy Plays Friday the 13th

March 13th, 2015

News & Notes:

Well it is Friday the 13th and so we wanted to do something a little different today as we look to kickoff the St. Patrick’s Day party with some NBA fun tonight.  Below you will find a Free Roll that we have put together with DraftKings that is designed for only beginners.  You can click on any game, banner or highlighted phrase to be taken to the proper location.  This means if you have NEVER played on Draftkings before tonight is your night.  It cost you nothing to enter and if you click here or just go to our DiRTy Plays Week of March 9th page we will tell you how to win at this contest.  Once you win some money tonight, come back and visit us next week as our lineup optimizer will be ready for you to use and not only will we will analyze your daily DiRTy plays for DraftKings but Fan Duel as well, we always provide insight into why you should stick with certain players.  We will be adding a new segment next week that will also outline some of those guys that you should shy away from and why that is so look for that new segment.  Now let us me show you how we are doing as we don’t just provide info we play too so yes, we put our money where our mouth is so you can trust our analysis and results thereafter.

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $2,557
  • Profit from the week of March 9ththus far is a total of $389.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.

Fan Duel Top Tournament Results from March 12th:

  • 310 (3460 of 22986) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won x2 (Late Night Contest)
  • 7 (10440 of 86206) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won x2 (NBA Swat)
  • 6 (20 of 181) – $25 Entry/$125 Won (Quintuple Up)
  • 7 (1071 of 11494) – $25 Entry/$55 Won (Super Slam)

***Won $190 gross, spent $60 and profited $130***

DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $503.57
  • Profit for the week of March 9th thus far is $39.42

Results from March 12th, 2015

  • 331 (699 of 38260) – $3 Entry/$12.17 Won (Sharpshooter Contest)

***Won $12.17 gross, spent $3 and profited $9.17***

Games to Play Tonight


Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.

DiRTy Plays Hot Hands Thursday

westbrook

March 12th, 2015

Our Hot Hands for this past week can be compared to that of the NBA MVP race.  It has been amazing to watch, night after night, five guys who have put it all on the table and gone all in as we come down the home stretch to the NBA playoffs.  The hottest guy in the NBA has been Russell Westbrook for about the last month or so, putting up ridiculous numbers.  Westbrook averaged 30 points, 10 rebounds and 9 assist dating back to January 24th of this season.  In his last 7 games, he has 6 Triple-Doubles and going into last night that had barely held off the Pelicans from taking over the 8th seed in the Western Conference.  Unfortunately for Westbrook he has had such great success at playing on a rage against the machine, he now feels that he must take over every game in order to secure victory.  While he fills the stat sheet, including the turnover category, one thing to make note of is OKC’s record when Westbrook goes for a Triple-Double.   It is .500 and so does this really mean he is an MVP.  I say absolutely not and last night’s performance against an underrated defense in the L.A. Clippers, Westbrook almost had another Triple-Double only this time he had 10 turnovers to go with his 9 rebounds and 22 points.  The Clippers came in and put a beat down on OKC and proved to the West that they are a legitimate contender and so long as OKC is without the real MVP, Durant, all they are is the 8th seed with a guy who has a high motor and fills up the stat sheet.  When Kevin Love was doing that last year, he wasn’t considered to be in the MVP race, he was vilified for not winning.  Are we simply too afraid of Westbrook to put these same parameters and connotations behind his play or is it just we are so enamored with his athleticism that we cannot fathom that OKC still might not make the playoffs with kevindurant_mvpDurant continuing to be sidelined.  However, for your daily fantasy value, it’s tough to not have him start for you.  We have found that so long as his cost is at $12,100 or less he should be on your team, anything above that you are going to sacrifice your profit in those contests.

 

Next to crack our weekly list is LeBron James.  Yes, once again he makes the Hot Hand category and it doesn’t come without criticism.  It wasn’t until earlier this week, I heard someone from ESPN finally put LeBron James in the MVP race.  I guess I too hadn’t put him in there until recently but then I listened to the actual statement made and in that soliloquy and come to realize that LeBron James is always the MVP but it is human nature to search for the next great star.  I mean look at how many TV shows are out there to find the top chef, the top child chef, the next country singer star, the next dance team, then next guy who can ride a bike with no hands.  As Chris Carter brought to television C’Mon man, all this man does is put up 26 points, 7 rebounds and 5 assists per game.  James has officially taken over the Cavs all-time lead in assists and he is a small forward?!  In terms of his fantasy value he is #3 over the past 10 games and had he played in the 4th quarter of most of his last few games, he might be #1.  The only issue you have with James these days is that the Cavs are blowing teams out so bad that he doesn’t need to play down the stretch or even through long stretches in the middle of the game.  Keep him on your radar and on your lineup so long as his cost remains hovering around $11,000 on Fan Duel and $10,500 on DraftKings.


Third on this list is Anthony Davis.  Yes, “The Brow”, has been simply dominating since coming back from his shoulder injury.  He has put up some huge numbers going for over 40 earlier this week in a comeback win over the Nets.  The Pelicans are flying high right now and are looking to make a run down the stretch to sneak past OKC and get into the playoffs for the first time in years.  Anthony Davis carries this team on both sides of the court and even with Tyreke Evans going down this week, you didn’t see that change their success.  In terms of fantasy value, Davis is #2 overall and comes in averaging just over 54 Fan Duel points per game and 58 points on DraftKings.  His magic number in terms of salary value is $11,200.  If he is at or under this marker, take him and watch your team cash.  $5 might not make you holla but if you play 15 contests per day, follow our analysis and recommendations, you will cash in 12 of those contests and profit right around $60 at a minimum.  The good news is you get to do this while drinking beer and watching games with your nba playoffsbuddies, in the, what used to be an office area, now turned sports gaming arena.

  • 1st Golden State
  • 2nd Memphis
  • 3rd Portland
  • 4th Houston
  • 5th LA Clippers
  • 6th San Antonio
  • 7th Dallas
  • 8th OKC
  • 9th New Orleans
  • 10th Phoenix 

Number 4 for the week is Kawhi Leonard.  This young, budding superstar is tearing it up right now.  He has posted 20+ points and 10+ rebounds in 4 of his last 5 games.  The Spurs started off with a 4 games losing streak on their rodeo road trip but have since reeled off 5 straight victories and are about to surpass the Mavs for the 6th seed in the West.  Kawhi has been the leading candidate for this progress.  In terms of fantasy value, Leonard, has posted at least 45 fantasy points in all 5 contests and will continue to do so as long as Pop doesn’t feel he needs a rest.  This team is so difficult to read in terms of fantasy leagues and can be compared to the Patriots of the NFL.  You never know who is going to go off.  Their bench guys might have Mills hitting for 20, Ginobli the next night for 25, Belinelli for 18 on six three’s and so and so forth.  There are two guys to consider over the next week and those are Tony Parker and Kawhi Leonard.  This combination is like Brady and Gronkowski, you can kawhi_champscount on them and the rest it’s a huge hit or miss.  Since I use math to make our decisions for us, the math says stay away from everyone else and stick with these two, they will each get you 40+ fantasy points per night over the next week’s set of games.

Last but certainly not least for this week’s Hot Hands we bring you DeAndre Jordan.  I know what you are going to say; “Where is James Harden”?  Others will say, “Where is Steph Curry”?  The reality of the situation is that, I project NBA daily fantasy value and not the best players in the game today.  I am not writing to tell you who Captain Obvious would put down here.  I crunch numbers and provide you with expected outcomes to predict the likelihood of success for your daily fantasy contests.  So why is Jordan on this list this week?  It is because he is a rebounding machine on a consistent basis.  He now has 13 consecutive games with at least 14 rebounds and in 12 of these games he had 15 or more.  In 4 of them he had more than 20 rebounds in a game.  Combine that with the fact that he is on the court more than 80% of the game, which happens to be the most in the NBA over this stretch and he is shooting 72% from the floor right now.  He might not be able to hit 50% from the free throw line but when you get 15 chances per game, you get 7 free points.  He will get 2 to 3 dunks per game and most likely will go for 16 points and 16 rebounds.  From a stats perspective, this is tremendous, Jordan doesn’t turn the ball over and is number 5 in block shots over this stretch.  The best news is that Fan Duel and DraftKings haven’t seemed to change his salary.  Their algorithms haven’t picked up on this just yet but he is going to be a 45 on your team each and every night and is usually right around $9,500.  If you want to win like we do, then you have to look at the value of that player, the percentage of your overall spend and the production you will get for him.


It’s nice that we are able to provide you with Sleepers to consider each night but the true strategy in this game is how do you keep the consistent top performers and find those mid-level guys that are going to have huge nights.  We have added a segment for just this reason.  This week I will be providing you with some insight into why our Lineups To Consider have players that we don’t discuss or provide additional stats for so you can continue to win and win big.  We will have a lineup creation tool available next week in preparation for the final weeks of the NBA season as we look to roll into baseball season next.  Stay tuned for our bracket analysis as we look to apply our basketball analysis in order to predict the results of the NCAA tournament.  Look for additional information over the coming days and Monday next week we will focus heavily on how to help you win.  Follow us on Twitter @TheDiRTCanon and get our daily news as well as progress throughout all the daily NBA games each night.


Be sure you check out the DiRTy Plays – Week of March 9th to get all the Must Haves and Sleepers for today’s best players with their projections.  We have also put up some lineups to consider for tonight’s games.  You can click here to be taken directly to this information.

 

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $2,427
  • Profit from the week of March 9ththus far is a total of $259.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.

Fan Duel Top Tournament Results from March 11th:

  • Money_Sign250.8 (452 of 2873) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won (Late Night Contest)
  • 249.5 (498 of 2873) – $1 Entry/$2.50 Won (Late Night Contest)
  • 288.4 (525 of 13793) – $1 Entry/$4 Won (After Hours Contest)
  • 286.2 (31 of 191) – $25 Entry/$125 Won (Quintuple Up)
  • 284 (2515 of 16091) – $25 Entry/$50 Won (Super Slam)

***Won $184 gross, spent $65 and profited $119***

DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 11th, 2015 are $494.40
  • Profit for the week of March 9ththus far is $30.25


Results from March 11th, 2015

  • 75 (466 of 36907) – $3 Entry/$12 Won (Sharpshooter Contest)
  • 4 (2682 of 14100) – $0.25 Entry/$1.25 Won (Quarter Arcade)

***Won $13.25 gross, spent $3.25 and profited $10***

Games to Play Tonight

Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.

DiRTy Plays Wednesday

March 11th, 2015

Week To Date Recap

We have started off the week with some very nice production and profit to be precise.  It takes consistency, accuracy and analysis to be able to produce in daily NBA fantasy leagues and we are proving that we can do this for you.  If you simply play our Lineups To Consider you will win 68% of the time.  If you take that and apply that to the games that we highlight for you each day, your win percentage increases to 81%.

It has been a promising week, to say the least, considering the fact that every “SuperStar” in the league today has been putting up tremendous numbers.  Games are coming down to the wire and all you have to do is sit back and read our Twitter feed @TheDiRTCanon and we provide you with the updates you need in terms of point production.  Russell Westbrook kicks off his week tonight and we expect another huge performance.  LeBron James and Kawhi Leonard captivised our lineups last night and we scored an enormous 333.9 with taking a ZERO for Ginobli as he was a late scratch after shoot around and we weren’t able to change it because the contest had already begun.  Too bad FanDuel hasn’t changed that aspect of their site yet!

One of our top performers last night was Alex Shved.  Yes, we said and we played it and guess what that was huge for our (After Hours) contents which we won on all three that we played last night.  Take a look at this video, it just goes to show you how math can be applied to predict results even when you have players that do this:

Just Aaa Bit Outsiiide!

Be sure you check out the DiRTy Plays – Week of March 9th to get all the Must Haves and Sleepers for today’s best players with their projections.  We have also put up some lineups to consider for tonight’s games.  You can click here to be taken directly to this information.

 

Fan Duel Earnings:

  • Started with $100 deposit on January 16th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 8th, 2015 are $2,308
  • Profit from the week of March 9th thus far is a total of $140.50 as we have looked to increase our overall number of entries and entry fee contests to validate results on all levels of players.


DraftKings Earnings:

  • Started with a $50 deposit on February 15th, 2015.
  • Earnings through March 8th, 2015 are $484.40
  • Profit for the week of March 9th thus far is $20.25


 

Games to Play Tonight

Just click on the one of the links above and you will be directed to these contests and you can start making a profit.

 

Bucket O’DiRT

You gotta feel for Shady McCoy being done DiRTy like that, being sent to football’s wasteland to play for Rex Ryan.  Overnight the Eagles traded Lesean McCoy and although we talked about that happening, we believed Chip was going to take a different player from Oregon – instead of moving up to take Mariota, he got Kiko Alonso.

So Buffalo gets a Pro Bowl RB in his 7th season – to a team that has no real QB – expected to be a work-horse in a system that he may not be designed to handle.  Shady is not a rex-ryan-run-heavy type of running back, and this now signals the end for CJ Spiller, and although he has to look for a job – Im sure he revels in getting out.

Philly improves their defense with a known commodity that is coming off of knee surgery – and now turns their RB duties to Chris Polk.  It seems Chip is tipping his hand by his preference for Pac-12 guys – especially guys he coached at Oregon.

Shady is a fan favorite in a town that is brutal on its home teams.  So Chip better have a plan, because his street-cred is gonna run out real fast in the city of (not-so) brotherly love.


#CastBeadleInSharknado

Back in 2013, the recent-twitter-cult-classic Sharknado debuted and was watched by more than 1.4m people – only to be watched again by 1.9m people during the replay – creating a cultural virus.  The Twitter-verse exploded again with Sharknado 2 and now brace yourself for the 3rd installment – a pontoon of D-lister celebrities.

The story this time is just as insipid as the last ones – starring Mark Cuban as the POTUS and right-wing-ball-bag Ann Coulter as his Veep – (I have $100 on her being eaten by #LeftShark) – the Sharknado blows thru DC, making its way down the Eastern Seaboard to the genitals of the country – Florida – #MuricasDick.

Ian Ziering is back as “Fin” Shepherd, as is Tara Reid as April Wexler.  This much anticipated installment will also feature Jerry Springer and former babe, Bo Derek.  The 2nd movie took only 18 days to make, so regardless of the production strike that recently occurred – they still have plenty of time to get it done for the summer.  So grab some friends, some beers and get your twitter account ready for the greatest B-movie franchise of all time – this is spectacular cheez.


change the name – change the name

Speaking of Sharknadoes…FINALLY, the Brian Shaw era is over after a Mike Shanahan-esque coaching job – taking a team from 57 wins, to chanting in the huddle “#6weeks“!  Do we get enough information on the guy and his ability to coach?  Was it a rocky relationship with Ty Lawson and his confrontations in the locker room?  Was it the lack of basketball concepts and offensive imagination that saw blow out after blow out at home and no improvement offensively from Faried after a big contract?  Maybe, but lets not lay this pig all on Shaw.

This solely lies on ownership for first firing the “coach of the year”, George Karl – to then hire a first-timer who had all the buzz.  Second, for remaking the team in your own mis-managed-image-of-disfunction.  Kinda like burning my house down and then getting mad at my reaction – you can’t take the effect and make it the cause.  #WhiteStripes.

It all is symbol-istic nonsense – the season is still lost – the players do not care, and no Captain-seat-filler is gonna take tropical destinations off the minds of the players.  The No-Guts are still an abomination to watch and we should all congratulate ownership for retreating back into the NBA Dark-Ages again in Colorado basketball.


Further adventures in atmospheric danger….

An Australian man posting under the name Nomadic Adrenaline has uploaded this incredible video of the moment he suffered a seizure during a sky dive.

“Possibly the scariest moment of my life,” wrote the poster.

The man, called Christopher, said his near-death experience happened during a jump last year, when he was doing stage five of his Accelerated Free Fall programme.

“At around 9000ft I have a seizure while attempting a left hand turn.

“I then spend the next 30 seconds in free fall unconscious.”

Noticing something was wrong, Christopher’s jumpmaster soon came to the rescue. The video, which appears to be filmed from the jumpmaster’s headcam, shows him approaching the unconscious man and reaching for his ripcord.

“Thankfully my jumpmaster manages to pull my ripcord at around 4000ft,” wrote Christopher. “I become conscious at 3000 ft and land safely back to the ground.”

Skydive

courtesy of The Telegraph


Fitty is laying down a lot of scratch on Mayweather when he fights Pacquiao May 2nd – saying further that Floyd is gonna smoke Manny, which is odd considering the tumultuous past shared between Curtis and Floyd.  Here’s hopin’ the $1.6m he’s throwin down isn’t needed for any retirement of part of some investment strategy because if throwing a baseball is any indication Curtis – you may not know sports – and should just stick to poppin’ bottles – #ThugLife.


When you are paying all those guys to go 0-10 against a pitching machine – it’s hard to pay one of your prospects – minor league catcher+1st baseman Jake Hernandez – more than a cup of coffee at Starbucks.  Hernandez, who signed with the Yankees as undrafted free-agent out of USC last summer – might wanna get a better agent than mom and next time go to a real baseball school.


Jordan Leopold's Daughter Asks Wild To Trade For Her Dad In Letter

I love how heart-felt this was and how smart the little girl is to call out the Wild and say they need Defensemen, a position her Dad just happens to play.  Considering the Wild and the Bluejackets made the trade – I’d say she is on her way up the ladder as Minnesota’s next GM.  It’s an awesome story – of course it could turn daddy’s little girl into a raging harpy who feels people should always do what she says – maybe it’s a sign of the apocalypse…

…in closing

The Rockies' Jordan Lyles will make a Cactus League start on Monday. (Jeff Gross, Getty Images)

Jordan Lyles

Jordan Lyles starts off today at 1:10p MST for the Cactus League Opener against the Diamondbacks at Salt River Fields.  Jhoulys Chacin is scheduled to pitch Thursday against the snakes, Kyle Kendrick on friday against the Angels at Tempe Diablo Stadium and Jorge Diva-Rosa on Saturday against the Cubs at Salt River.

 Hope springs enternal…


maninironmask‘The Man in the Iron Mask’ – the ‘Must-Haves‘, the ‘Sleepers‘ and those that might find themselves on the trainers table for your FanDuel NBA-delights each night.  We will post these DiRTy plays, everyday by 1p MST – so check back in the afternoon.  ‘Click’ the picture for the days’ DiRTy plays.

3rd Stone from the Sun

DO NOT MISTAKE ME FOR ANY OTHER PSYCHIC

I’ve been born of spectacular purpose to help the suffering.  You know the Lord works in mysterious ways.  If you believe and have faith, you will behold:

Madame Endorra

Psychic Reader, and healer

Born with powers granted to her by the universe to help humanity and ardent in purpose.  Tell your friends’ and enemies’ names without asking a single word.  Madame Endorra will tell you what you wish to know regarding health, marriage, love, divorce, lustfulness, specualtion and business transaction of all kinds.

Madame Endorra will inofrm you of any changes you should or should not make, good or evil. Madame Endorra removes bad luck and evil influences.  Madame Endorra will lift you out of the sorrow and darkness and start you down the path of success and happiness.  Giving you improtant advices on all affairs of life, whatever that might be.  No other reader and healer is superior to Madame Endorra.  A place to bring your friends and feel no embarrassment.

1/2 price with this card

open daily 8am – 10pm

3456 S Augur Way         phone 3-6693

NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY—LOOK FOR ADDRESS

____________________

Madame Endorra….I found her card on a sidewalk in the middle of one of those strip-malls of commerce and jammed it into my pocket, thinking that maybe I would call her and make an appointment.  I had a lot of deep eternal questons to ask like: “Why am I here? What does it all mean? Have I turned pro? Should I stop allowing myself to be seduced by the neighbors wife?  Is this the end?

“NO, I was just kidding, just testing you a bit Madame Endorra, right? Yes, because I was really leading up to this extremely central question….No, I’m not shy; it’s just that I come from…what? Old? Well, I think you just put your finger on your crystall ball or whatever Madame Endorra, because the truth of the matter is I have been feeling extremely old the past few days, and…What? now wait a minute, god-dammit, I’m still trying to get to the main question, which is…What? no, I never curse Madame Endorra.  Huh? no that was a cry of anguish, a silent scream of the soul, because I feel real danger in this forsaken town, and….Yes, I am white, but…No Madame Endorra and we both know there is not a damn thing anyone of us can do about that right now….Well, No i have not, but let’s not get into that right now.  Just let me ask this question, and if you can give me a reasonable answer without any bullshit, I promise I won’t come down to your place….because what I want you tell me Madame Endorra, and I mean this, seriously – Why is it I have been in this town for 6 days and no one has offered me….Yes and Im damn serious about wanting some…That is exactly what I’m talking about…No, but your ad said you could lift me out of sorrow and darkness….ok, ok I’m listening….uh-huh, yeah, but let me tell you something Madame Endorra:  My name is Roger Goodell and I’m the Editor of Blender Magazine….Right, and I can have you busted right now for false advertising….Yeah, well I think I might want to pick up some of my people and come out to see you later on today; we will want some explanations for this blashpemer-anti-christ bullshit.  This country is in enough trouble, goddamnit, without people like you running around selling hand jobs for crack to people in serious trouble…..”

Madame Endorra hung up on me at that point.  Lord only knows what she thought was about to come down on her when dusk fell….Here was the Editor of Blender Magazine coming out to her house with a goon squad, and all of them stone mad for drugs and vengeance…terrible situation.

Similar to the need of entitled, alcohol/drug-fueled college-fanboys and their need to interact with athletes – like what happened recently at K-State under the guise of ‘another enchanted evening of historical proportions’.  It’s a constant reminder of Hurricanes and the destruction they lay – like waves crashing on the seawall – when the levee breaks…

Sure we were all kids once and the herd can be mesmerizingly powerful, but at what point does it become nothing more than mob injustice.  It was just last year in New Mexico when a riot broke out between players and fans – all because of a toddler-tantrum one player made by throwing a ball at the head of another guy at the end of the game.  Einstein may have said; insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results – or something like that – I usually fell asleep during his movies – the point being that we seem to be waiting for someone to die in the arena before we do anything about it – or just lebotomize young males to purge our society of ruinous disorder.  Remember Monica Seles, Remember Tom Gamboa and the Kansas City Royals, Remember the malice at the palace, Remember ‘Don’t Tase Me Bro’, Remember the Alamo?!

It’s no longer the innocence of youth as it relates to court storming.  It is no longer a defining moment of triumph.  K-State seems to regularly beat the Jayhawks at home, so what’s the rush.  It has become nothing more than an excuse – to impress the moment and let the herd-mind take over – at what point does it turn into warm spring days at the Coliseum – I’ll take the Lions -7.  It will happen and likely across the ocean during a soccer match – and oh how we will crow, critiquing those hooligans?  We all will giggle at their buffoonery and quote never here!  But the bloodlust grows in the garden of sorrow, like a vampire – it will happen.

It is a fine line between shared celebration and riot.  We watch SportsCenter to see the winning city devolve into pandemonium after a title has been earned, only to see the knuckle-draggers celebratory thirst, quenched by their weapon of choice – wanton destruction.  The entitlement of many fans, born from an inalienable right, guaranteed by the price of admission, to rain down insults, baptized by the home team.  Would any of us maintain restraint?  The same cautious restraint these athletes, let alone college athletes, preserve?  Some of what is said indoors would be an arrestable offense outside of the arena, so why would we punish an athlete for taking matters into their own hands when someone interacts with them on their court?

I stand up and say decriminalize! You storm the court you are free game and let the chaos envelop us all if we are unable to preserve our humanity.  But if the kids are to be kids and act like deranged meth-heads then we should treat the cancer at the source – punish the pusher.  Court storming will not end until the Universities take greater responsibility and stop placing alcohol-fueled-sexually-charged-entitled young males directly behind the opposing team, close to the floor, to generate a home-court advantage.  Manage the inmates and the asylum will be more pleasant when we come to visit.


maninironmask

‘The Man in the Iron Mask’ – the ‘Must-Haves‘, the ‘Sleepers‘ and those that might find themselves on the trainers table for your FanDuel NBA-delights each night.  We will post these DiRTy plays, everyday by 1p MST – so check back in the afternoon.  ‘Click’ the picture for the day DiRTy plays.

 

Six-pack o’DiRT

75c03c6dfadc40c77fd6279df8db16c9_400x400

1.  If you saw Monday Night Football you saw several performances.  You saw a first half dominated by the Packers, then saw a lil fight left in those Fal(i think i)cans.  However you still saw certain elements of why it is possible that Mike Smith is going to be looking for work.  To often this year, (and years of xmas past) he’s demonstrated the kind of vapor-lock of the mind to have you doubt if he’s also not related to Eddie, (Sh!**ers Full!).  It’s towards the closing minutes, you score a touchdown, you need to go for two to have a shot, and you run? from under center? with ‘Quizz Rodgers? No full back? Empty set?  Coach in your effort to out-think the room, you might have out-thought yourself.  Good luck in the Spring, you seem like a nice guy and if I remember, you were a good defensive coach – not so sure where that went.  Also, if Matt Ryan is the answer I am sure I am confused with the question.  He has, (in my mind) the best WR in the league.  If Julio Jones is healthy, and it’s rare, he dominates everyone.  So, how is it that Matt Ryan waits until week 13 and week 14 to let it rip and get him the ball?  Anyway, the NFC (going)South is still up for grabs and thanks to the s(A)ints; we’ve given the Panthers a chance.  The Next time, the Falcons are on National T.V., you might wanna tweet along with the O.G.B.M.F., Jules was killin it and servin up a Royale with Cheese of ‘Shut da’FuQ-up’ to Chucky.  Take a look.

If Gruden says the Birds are in trouble, it must be Gospel! PFUCK Him!! RISE UP!! Remember this Mr Gruden,

Rodgers coulda got away , but Gruden was swingin’ on his Nuts!!

What IS that fool Babbling about?! 4 hitches & nobody hands the ball off better, I think he’s sippin’ Rodgers’ Jockstrap Tea!

Hey, hold up. I dig Rodgers! Bona Fidel BMF! Anncrs should be impartial, not slobberingly eating out one team or the other!

You Packer fans Do Know , yur EXPECTED to win this game. Us Bird fans are lookin’ for a MIRACLE! Might as well watch for it!

That was some Pop Warner tackling!! No offense to Pop Warner Kids, they prolly woulda hung on…like Gruden on Rodgers …

the (not)Joe (t)Heisman Trophy

2.  The Heisman Trophy finalists were announced and not since waaaaaay back in 2012 have we only had 3 finalists.  Can you remember those salad days of watching a young prodigy giving the fingers to everyone on his way to the bronze paperweight?  Where have you gone Johnny Football?  The Heisman trophy is the most overrated award I can think of right now.  It IS NOT given to the best football player, it is given to the best participant on offense and 63% of the time the last 30yrs it has been a QB.  Remember Jason White and Troy Smith and Chris Weinke….I might have just thrown up a lil in my mouf – that is what makes this absurd – there is no way those guys were the best in college football, they just had the best participation, not to mention a top 5 team.  C-Dub (Charles Woodson to the unintiated) was the best in 1997 and look at what he is still doing – the man is awesome and clearly has the best commercial in a long time.  But we are here again and here’s how it stacks out.  It should go to Amari Cooper, because if you thought Julio Jones was good then you must not have been watching SEC football.  The kid is elite and will be at the next level (not saying that should be the criteria) with these stats: 115 catches, 1656 yds, 14TD.  It will not go to a WR, as the position has not won a Heisman since 1991 (Desmond Howard).  It will skip the running backs and go to Marcus Marriota as a lifetime achievement award.  He’s got the numbers, however what big game has he won?  Guess we will see in the new tournament #hungergames.  The other thing that gets me, is football at all levels is pass-happy.  It used to be that if a RB ran for 2000 yds he was a lock to win.  This year we have 2, (Melvin Gordon-2336yds, Tevin Coleman-2036yds)?!!  Melvin Gordon only needs a big 333yds in the Outback Bowl to break Barry Sanders’ record.  It’s a lot, but so was 408 on Nebraska.  Tevin Coleman did not get an invite and so we will see some more 2000-yd casualties on the floor of that most hallowed institution of insanity.

Johnny Football watchin the game from da bench

3.  How awesome is that?!  Thank you Marvin Lewis.  Yesterday Marvin Lewis said that, “You’ve got to go defend the offense,” Lewis said. “You don’t defend the player.” After a short pause, Lewis then added: “Particularly a midget.”  He of course gave the (un)sincere apology and meant no offense, (to Andy Dalton?).  Is he apologizing to Manziel or to them, the lil people?  I would have kept going on Johnny Clipboard, make him sweat a little more before his first start.

4.  So the Veterans Committee chooses not to elect anyone into the H.O.F. with candidates that have the resume to get in.  I never saw them play but I would believe that Tony Oliva should be in, considering he finished 1 vote shy, (who’s the a-hole?).  Clearly there has to be some sort of collusion with the former players on this committee not wanting more players in because it hurts their cash-grab or past beefs that haven’t been squashed, or they are just really good at rooster-blocking.  2013 did not elect anyone either and that was nonsense.  Clearly the system is broken and I say we bring back the BCS to elect H.O.F., members, it’ll be right more often then the “humans” #skynet.

5.  Apparently the pet-Rox and the Me(h)ts almost had a deal for a few seconds and that leaves me wondering on what is gonna happen next with Tulo, CarGo, and Stubbs.  I say considering that ownership never took the time to look, interview, or ask around for new GM candidates, and hire from within the organization for a lap dog, then blow it all up.  Trade Tulo, Trade CarGo, who cares about Stubbs, and let’s really see what the new boss (same as the old boss) can do.  To me the solution is get guys that pitch like they DGAF, and hand out HGH like Halloween candy to the hitters and play ol’timey Coors baseball.  Make this again the place that other pitchers hated to pitch at.  Make it so terrifying that they have the meat sweats days before arrival.  Besides neither Tulo or CarGo know what it means to play a full season together and right now it’s just time to see just how far down this rabbit hole can go.

6.  A great story that ties in perfect with the O.G.B.M.F.!