Weekend Update: #NFL Edition

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1. Apologize to Andy Dalton!!!

Sure Andy Dalton needs to improve on his 0-4 playoff record, but he deserves your apology.  He’s been accurate, has made good decisions and is on pace to throw for more than 4,500 yards.  It also doesn’t hurt that those around him are playing well, including Tyler Eifert.  Look no further than the engineered comeback against the Seahawks…Next week, we can bet against the Bengals and be back to business as usual around the league, regarding the Ginger-Rifle – but for now, we apologize.

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2. Father Time is Undefeated

The Broncos won again with Defense and while Manning has more INT’s than TD’s – we should hold off on the coffin just yet on Peyton’s career.  The Broncos will contend, but will not be a contender.  This team has a major flaw with their inability to run the football.  Yes Manning has lost consistent velocity on his throws, but when the weather turns, and if Denver cannot run the ball – the greatest D in the world will not get them to San Francisco.  Manning deserves a better ending than being on a team that runs as well as an old lady with a walker.

3. Glory Days, They’ll Pass You By

There are lots of columns to right about the fall of Rome, but those are for another day.  Maybe Sean Payton leaves, maybe Drew wears another uniform and maybe romanticizing only temporarily numbs the pain of today.  Because as of today, the Saints are like Elvis:  Once great, but now sad and hunched over a toilet.  The loss in Philly is the final nail in the coffin, and on our way to being one of the worst teams in the league – a decade of excellence and just like that, we could be wearing paper-bags again.  So let’s say thanks for the memories:  Steve Gleason’s block, Deuce McAllister’s run, Hartley’s kick, Porter’s pick 6 and Lombardi Gras.  No matter how bad it gets…they can’t take that away from me…But for now, we stink!

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4. Like Blind Men at an Orgy, We’re Gonna Have to Feel Things Out

USA Today Sports’ Tom Pelissero takes a look at 50 things we learned in week 5, in honor of Superbowl 50:

1. Bengals-Seahawks. Redskins-Falcons. Bears-Chiefs. Browns-Ravens. Hard to top those endings, happening simultaneously as the early games came to a close. Wow.

2. Dear Boss: Don’t ever cancel the Red Zone Channel. Thank you.

3. Obviously lots to like about the New England Patriots offense, but we want them to give the ball to Dion Lewis on every play. You never know what’s going to happen when the ball is in hands.

4. We never jumped off the Cincinnati Bengals bandwagon when they fell behind Sunday. But we knew where the emergency exit was.

5. Wonder if we will see a tweet from Marshawn Lynch’s mom after the game Thomas Rawls had for the Seahawks on Sunday.

6. Browns tight end Gary Barnidge’s between-the-legs touchdown catch wins the day. And maybe the season.

7. Charles Woodson picked off a Peyton Manning pass for the first time in his career. Then he did it again. Wish he had hit the Heisman pose, but he is classier than we are.

8. Who is Howard Jones? The world knows now. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker had quite the debut, recording two sacks in his first NFL game action.

9. Washington Redskins QB Kirk Cousins deserved better. Whoa, we fell down as we were typing that.

10. If nothing else, the Buffalo Bills are consistent. They recover a fumble on the opening kickoff inside the Tennessee 10-yard line. But wait. Bills offsides. Play nullified.

11. Jamaal Charles. Damn.

12. Buccaneers fans must have thought it was a dream. Their new field goal kicker was actually making kicks and the team won at home after losing its last 11 there.

13. Break up the Bears! Oh wait, they are already doing that.

14. Make sure you catch the replay of St. Louis Rams RB Todd Gurley picking up the Clay Matthews blitz. Wow.

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15. And, of course, that just angered Matthews. The Packers LB later just buried Rams QB Nick Foles with a hit that made us hurt just watching it.

16. Remember all of the talk about the Giants’ 0-2 start? Big Blue now is in first place in the NFC East.

17. Hoyer to Mallett. Back to Hoyer. Trick play? No, just Houston Texans coach Bill O’Brien mishandling the QB situation through the first five weeks.

18. Fantasy Tip I: The fantasy running back picture in Kansas City without Jamaal Charles is going to be ugly. You’re better off chasing someone from another team – like the Seahawks’ Thomas Rawls or the Tennessee Titans’ Antonio Andrews – than to rely on Charcandrick West or Knile Davis to be your savior.

19. We know he turned it around, but Sam Bradford threw two interceptions in the end zone in the first half. Heck, Tim Tebow could have done that for Chip Kelly.

20. On their first drive, Cincinnati scored a touchdown against Seattle, the first time in 21 drives the Seahawks have allowed a TD.

21. On the first nine touchdowns scored Sunday, the PATs were all good. Same for the first four FG attempts. We figured that had to be some kind of record this season, so we stopped counting.

22. But there was this kicking gem: Matt Bryant of the Atlanta Falcons had an unusual day. He missed two FGs and both clanged off the uprights. He couldn’t do that again if he tried.

23. Browns QB Josh McCown threw for 457 yards in a huge win over the Ravens. Maybe Mike Pettine was right. Sorry, Johnny Manziel.

25. Look at Joe Flacco run! Elite.

26. The New Orleans Saints and Seahawks both intercepted their first passes of the season on Sunday. So that happened.

27. If nothing else, the Washington Redskins and Baltimore Ravens provided good cover for the University of Maryland, which announced the the firing of Randy Edsall while both teams were playing.

28. Aaron Rodgers’ first-quarter TD pass was his 49th at Lambeau Field since he threw an interception there. Rodgers, of course, then threw an interception. And then another. And lost a fumble. Saved it all for one day, Aaron?

29. We’re told that this is Rodgers’ first three-turnover game since 2009. During that same span, Jay Cutler has done that 12 times. Sorry, Bears fans.

30. To be fair, Cutler played his second straight good game. We don’t get to write that much.

31. New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts is next week. Deflategate II. And another reminder if Roger Goodell was judged on his record in court and arbitration decisions, he would be watching games with Joe Philbin on Sundays.

32. With 197 total yards on Sunday, Falcons running back Devonta Freeman has gained at least 149 yards in his first three starts.

33. One thing we learned before the game’s even started: Terry Bradshaw still has a fastball.

35. The Titans have blown two straight double-digit leads at home. Not good for ticket sales.

36. The 49ers need to give Carlos Hyde, who had 93 yards on 21 carries against the Giants’ previously top-ranked run defense, at least 25 touches per game.

37. The Bears put eight defenders on the goal line when the Chiefs had the ball at the 22 late in the half with no timeouts. They dubbed it the “Red Rover” defense. We love it.

38. Lions QB Matthew Stafford was benched for Dan Orlovsky after throwing throwing three interceptions against the Cardinals. Another fun week for Jim Caldwell is ahead.

39. The Baltimore Ravens are 1-4. Yes, we have the names of everyone who picked them to win the AFC.

40. Other teams want to pursue Sean Payton, according to an ESPN report. The way he is coaching, he certainly wants out of New Orleans.

41. At one point, the Eagles scored on five straight possessions. That’s not a typo.

42. When is a fair catch not a fair catch? Don’t ask Pacman Jones.

43. The Lions can’t blame the officials for four turnovers less than 20 minutes into the game.

45. It’s one thing for the Chiefs to lose three in a row to teams that were all unbeaten, but to the Bears at home? Andy Reid has some explaining to do now.

46. From a pure football stance, you can see why there was a bidding war for Greg Hardy’s services this offseason.

47. Fantasy tip II: Blake Bortles’ big day signals that he might be the next young quarterback to emerge, at least for fantasy players. But not enough people are talking about how dangerous this Jaguars passing attack has become.

48. Jadeveon Clowney has zero sacks through nine career games. But let’s give him a bit more time before we throw around the “bust” label.

49. If San Diego Chargers TE Antonio Gates catches a touchdown pass Monday night, he will become the second tight end in NFL history with 100 TD grabs, joining Tony Gonzalez (111).

50. Oh, Derek Carr. You can’t throw that pick-six when you have a division opponent on the ropes. Lesson learned, we hope.