What You Need To Know For the #NFL This Weekend

name of site - hunter thompson styleMatt Hasselbeck Went From Puking And Pooping To Beating The Texans1. Low Watt-age

“We want the ball and we’re gonna…hold on…just a sec…I gotta…I’ll be right back” – said Matt Hasselbeck, earning his second victory for the Colts in 4 days and in the process, won their 16th straight in the division – a new league record.  That win streak seems more a testament of the dumpster that is the AFC South – more so when you consider the Colts are 14-12 outside of it.

For me, the story is how terrible Ryan Mallett is, how lazy Clowney is, how undisciplined the team is, and where is JJ Watt?!  Remember when wet-heads everywhere were screaming for him to be the MVP last year?  Has he been moved to the Witness Protection Program?  It can’t be the Wade Phillips charm not around anymore, can it?  The Texans are terrible, comatose and not very brainy at any point, during any moment, in any game.  The Texans just lost to a 40yr old QB with the flu, that Chuck Pagano said was LITERALLY on his deathbed Monday and Tuesday – LITERALLY…DEATHBED…Hee’saGone-A-Die.  Watching that game made you feel how Matt said he felt all week before the game.  If it wasn’t for Fantasy Gaming, the NFL would be as much fun to watch as a marathon of Adam Sandler’s recent movies – meh.

Enough about bodily functions and onto the what we need to know to #win this weekend!

2. ‘Cause Knowing is Half the Battle!

  • Craaazy stat for #NFL week 5 – Bill Belichick is 11-4 SU after a bye week – The Patriots are 1-4-1 against the spread after a BYE the last 6 years.  Does that mean the Pats win but not win ATS?!
  • For the Falcons (-7.5) vs. Washington and Green Bay (-9) vs. the Rams – All-Time, teams that start 4-0 and are favorites of a touchdown or more the next week are 13-22-1 (37%) ATS.
  • Since 2002, when the NFL expanded to 32 teams – teams coming off a BYE that were home dogs, have gone 26-32-1 (45%) ATS – this trend impacts the Titans (+2.5) vs. Bills.
  • ATL -7.5 vs. WAS Matt Ryan is 16-1 straight-up as a home favorite of a touchdown or more but just 8-8-1 ATS in those games.
  • AZ -2.5 @ DET With Carson Palmer, the Cardinals as road favorites are 5-1 against-the-spread.
  • BAL -6.5 vs. CLE With extra rest following a Thursday Night Football game, the Ravens are 6-2 ATS.
  • BUF -2.5 @ TEN All-time, the Bills as road favorites are 34-44-3 (44%) against-the-spread.
  • CHI +9.5 @ KC With the Bears, Jay Cutler as a road dog is 10-16 ATS.
  • CIN -3 vs. SEA All-time, when the Bengals have won four games in a row, Cincy is 3-9-1 ATS in the next game.
  • CLE +6.5 @ BAL In the last two years, Cleveland has lost on the road 14 times and by an average of more than 9 points.
  • DAL +9 vs. NE All-time, the Cowboys as home dogs of a touchdown or more are 1-14 straight-up and 6-9 against-the-spread.
  • DEN -4.5 @ OAK Peyton Manning has started 4-0 six other times in his career, he was 4-2 ATS in the next game.
  • DET +2.5 vs. AZ Following an appearance on Monday Night Football, the Lions are 6-12 against-the-spread.
  • GB -9 vs. STL Aaron Rodgers as a home favorite of a touchdown or more is 20-12-1 (63%) ATS.
  • JAX +3 @ TB Blake Bortles has lost every game he has started as a road underdog. On the bright side, he is 5-3 ATS in those games.
  • KC -9.5 vs. CHI All-time, when the Chiefs have lost two or more games in a row and are home favorites of a touchdown or more, KC is 6-2 ATS.
  • NE -9 @ DAL Survivor pool pick of the week: Tom Brady as a road favorite of more than a touchdown is 20-2 (91% straight-up).
  • NO +4.5 @ PHI Drew Brees as an underdog of a field goal or more is 17-11-2 against-the-spread.
  • NYG -7 vs. SF Eli Manning as a favorite of a touchdown or more is 14-18 ATS.
  • OAK +4.5 vs. DEN All-time, the Raiders as home underdogs against Denver are 5-10 ATS.
  • PHI -4.5 vs. NO Under Chip Kelly, the Eagles following a loss and as a favorite are 3-6 ATS.
  • PIT +3 @ SD When the Steelers are on road games for Monday Night Football, the UNDER is 19-11 (63%).
  • SD -3 vs. PIT Philip Rivers at home on Monday Night Football is 5-2 against-the-spread.
  • SEA +3 @ CIN As an underdog, Russell Wilson has a winning record and is 11-4-1 ATS but has failed to win or cover the last two times (Super Bowl and Week 2 at Green Bay).
  • SF +7 @ NYG All-time, the 49ers a road dogs of a touchdown or more are 25-35-2 (42%) against-the-spread.
  • STL +9 @ GB All-time, following a win and as a road dog of more than a touchdown, the Rams are 9-17-1 (35%) ATS.
  • TB -3 vs. JAX In the last five years, the Bucs as home favorites are 7-12 against-the-spread.
  • TEN +2.5 vs. BUF The Titans have been home dogs following a bye three times, Tennessee is 2-1 ATS in those games.
  • WAS +7.5 @ ATL All-time, following a win and as a road dog of a touchdown or more, the Redskins are 14-11 ATS.

DC*3PO’s PicksDiRTCanon A.I.

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