The 5th of May’s Lavanderia Sucia

I HAVE IT 115-113 PACQUIAO. BUT OF COURSE, THIS IS HIS HOME RING, HOMETOWN, HOME STATE. ANNOUNCERS BIASED.

— SKIP BAYLESS (@REALSKIPBAYLESS) MAY 3, 2015

This is a tweet by Skip Bayless, the tabloid emperor – Count Shout-U-la.  As you can see from this rant, he believes Pacquiao won the fight.  He has to, right?  That’s the format.  Skip has to play contrarian to Stephen A and his subjective admiration of Floyd Mayweather’s jock-strap tea.  Remember when detached objectivity was a cornerstone of journalism.  Say what you want about Floyd and his ambient-style of pugilism.  Say whatever you want about his undefeated record against both sexes.  However, what you must say and acknowledge is Floyd won the fight by out-boxing Manny.   Floyd landed 67 more punches – Manny only landed 19% of his – In every other American sporting industry, that is cataclysmic failure.  Skip has to play the part right – in this parody of a caricature of an argument?  He cannot be this bombastically blind, or maybe it’s just the death-cry of a man’s dignity dying before us.

Manny Pacquiao Could Face Legal Trouble For Hiding His Shoulder Injury

In other news…The fight that felt like it went on forever is still going on and this time it has legal ramifications – apparently fighters are injected like race-horses – note the medications taken last month by Manny.  The issue is, there is no disclosure of a a shoulder-injury that everyone conveniently provided as an excuse.  Under threat of perjury, Boxers are legally required to disclose their injuries – not just for obvious health reasons, but for the millions of dollars wagered on the outcome – we degenerates deserve honesty and full disclosure before we gamble.  In the real world this is fraud – in boxing this is normal – this is how the conspiracy starts and the next fight gets created.  We should all learn from our mistakes and stop wondering what happens when a Bear s#*^s in the woods.

The nickname, plus the logo were retired in 2012, and after a long protracted battle with the NCAA are trying to come up with some alternatives – and you can help!  Here are some from the CONSIDER list with authentic rationale:

  • Tundra Rats — The Tundra Rats name would evoke the cold inhospitable nature that is Grand Forks North Dakota. Rats are an intimidating animal.
  • Vicious Prairie Dogs — VICIOUS
  • Zombies — We already have a green, black, and pink color scheme, and zombies are cool
  • wombats — kind of like a golden gopher, only bigger. You said you wanted “unique”
  • TSUNAMIS — If UND is named TSUNAMIS we can still keep fighting TSU!!!
  • Swallows — Because UND has sucked for so long
  • Sunflakes — Grand Forks is the Sunflake City. Noone else will use the nickname. It’s at least as fierce as a banana slug.
  • Squirrels — Squirrels are awesome
  • Spacklers — Carl Spackler (most lethal gopher hunter in history).
  • Snowflake city — white people
  • Snowballs — We get a lot of snow in North Dakota, and also UND has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning a Division I championship.
  • Skunks — People from North Dakota refuse to take showers and smell funny; just like skunks. They have a natural aura of skunk poop.

consideration-list

non-consideration-list

Find your favorite and let us know!


What to watch…

NBA Playoffs  – conference semi-finals – The teams that have W’s in their nicknames play tonight, which is ironic since neither has any L’s so far in the post-season.  The Wiz take on the Hawks again at 8 EST on TNT and lead the series 1-0.  Memphis takes on the Warriors at 10:30 EST, also on TNT – interesting to note that the newly-minted MVP and Golden State are 44-0 when holding opponents under 100pts this year.

NHL Playoffs – Chicago @ Minnesota, Game 3, ‘Hawks lead 2-0 at 8 EST on NBCSN.  Anaheim @ Calgary, Game 3, Ducks lead 2-0 at 9:30 EST USA.

Person of Interest – season finale – Finch and Root try to save the machine from Samaritan, while Reese is in the middle of a gang-war.

The Flash – Dr. Wells(bad guy) unleashes Gorilla Grodd(other-bad guy) – A giant ape with mind-control abilities

So, celebrate the Battle of Puebla responsibly – you only need a little RDA of Vitamin T  – and hopefully your DVR can record more than one show.