Abstract DiRT

It’s beginning to look a lot like Kris-mas…

If you had April 17th in your office pool for “Kris Bryant Day”, congratulations you win!  Bryant, the 3B phenom that was the talk of pre-baseball, has officially cleared his service-time-out and will now join the team today, batting 4th.  Debate further if you like, about the merits of coronation v capitalism – but let’s move on and see if the hype matches the outrage.  The Cubs, of course have not said anything official and seemingly left it to Kris and that social-dynamo, twitter, when he tweeted: “I finally get to tell me family that my dream has finally come true.”  Good for you, oh and the Cubs conveniently needed a third-baseman, after Mel Olt got hit in the hand and found out that he’d be out 3 weeks, and La Strella should have never made the team – but that’s none of our business.  So now we wait and see how long it takes to actually witness MLB’s #2 overall-prospect – considering all he did in spring-training, plus he had just hit his 3rd HR in seven games in triple A last night.


Chicken from the, er..sky?

It could be a sign of the apocalypse!  The D-Bags and Giants game last night, was delayed because a wayward chicken tender, or finger (actual determination depends on regional taste) fell from the sky.  Thankfully no one was hurt, but several ball-players were seen kneeling to the great Chipotle, and trying to use the fallen tender to ward off any hexes on their gloves/bats from angry/jealous wives/girlfriends who might have put them there.  Serious stuff.  The game itself was delayed for about 20 seconds – but the conspiracy theories are already in full force that someone has created a machine that rains food.  Whether it was seagull that bit off more than he could chew or not, remains to be seen.  But people in San Francisco are eager to see if it will rain chicken fingers on “bring-your-own-condiment-night”!…Oh and the Giants lost again in 12 innings, 7-6.


From the folks at Reddit…Here is a chart to help you, the displaced NBA Fan with no dog in the fight, pick a bandwagon to jump on.  We know it can be hard for you, the DieHard Laker, Heat, Thunder fan, during these emotional times, so follow the chart and choose your next been-a-fan-forever-team!  Dust-off that lap-top, get familiar with their wiki-page and look for discount swag for you to wear – because the first game is tomorrow at 3:30 EST, and if you’re gonna pimp Golden State, you’re running out of time son.


HGH anyone?

Kevin Love – Athletic Yoga – actual DVD

The NBA will begin testing for HGH next year in an attempt to clean up the sport or it’s just a PR gesture, because clearly Kevin Love is not juicing.  The testing will be in three tests throughout the year, 2 during the season and one during the off-season.  No word yet if any player from UNC will show up – because they don’t show up for tests – HA!  With as much talk HGH or PED’s has gotten over the years, you’d be surprised if anyone is still using HGH at all in the NBA – most of them stopped dosing themselves after sophmore year in high school when they reached 6′ 9″, and already looked 30 – looking at you Greg Odom.  We shall see what comes of the first guy who tests positive – my money is, no one will care.  The only sport that anyone cares about drugs, is Baseball.  No other sport comes close.  Basketball has the gangsta-rap-black-image from scared old white-folks and the NFL has a serious criminal problem – doesn’t stop them from being the two most popular leagues right now.  But the suspension if caught is 20 games for the 1st offense, 45 for the 2nd and dismissal from the league on the third – good for you NBA.


Really?

Adrian Peterson feels wronged – he’s the victim!  From Jason Cole, here is the list of his demands…

The first is that he wants new guarantees added to his contract as some sort of apology from the team. As things stand right now, there are no more guarantees remaining in his current deal that will keep him under team control for another three years.

The second issue is that Peterson still doesn’t trust the Vikings’ front office. Peterson says he has no issues with the Vikings’ coaching staff, the football people, and ownership.

Again, Peterson brutalized a 4yr old – google the pictures – that’s not discipline, that’s abuse, and the NFL will do nothing, maybe dock him some upcoming-game checks.  Peterson got paid last year, rewarded and served no punishment and now feels entitled to make demands?!  No one owes you anything Adrian, you did this.  But, this is standard for the NFL, no one gets punished unless there is actual video and a coverup of whether or not the league actually saw it – that gets Ray Rice blackballed – but Adrian Peterson, Greg Hardy, Ray McDonald all get jobs – thank goodness Aaron Hernandez actually had a trial that convicted him; because, if it were up to the NFL, he would have paid a fine and suited up the first Sunday – unless he smoked weed – then it’s at least a suspension of 3 games.  In this league it’s simple, don’t do drugs or hit the QB to hard, you’ll face a moratorium – beat, rape, abuse all the women and children you want – it’s just a speeding ticket.


Oh and this happened yesterday…