Tuesday Dreg

3 strikes…

strike 1

The Sunshine Scooter, Star of College Gameday

For me it’s a rite of Autumn.  it takes me back to the bucolic days of my youth.  Father and I rising early from our slumber to nourish ourselves while enjoying a delightful pre-game show before bearing witness to the Buffaloes of Colorado.  Before Chris Fowler, there was Tim Brando (LSU alum), and for the next 25 years, Fowler was the Conductor of the Circus,  Lee Corso the Tiger.  It would be difficult for College Gameday to be the symbolic torch it is, without Fowler’s hand, and now we learn the torch is passing.

Reece Davis is a football man and is always welcome at this table.  The rumor was that Reece was flirting with leaving the “Worldwide Leader”.  So in the Judgement of Soloman, Fowler moved on from hosting to do what he had the leverage of wanting all along (documenting live events) – meanwhile Reece moves up the ladder and no longer has to do play-by-play on Thursdays, or spend time babysitting Lou Holtz and Mark May. Win-Win!  Both armed with new contracts that carry each past 2020, ESPN has 5 more years of scrutinous research.

You wonder if this is just the beginning of changes for College Football’s Pre-cursory entertainment, because how much longer can Corso go on?  Maybe the issue is not so much the changing of roles or schedules, its about starting over with a new cast.   Besides Corso, it will not be long before Herbstreit also agrees that doing a show in the morning, hopping on a plane, then flying to the prime-time game is too much.  Aside from Fowler stepping aside, this will be the last time we see Corso and Herbstreit together.  The Gang’s no longer here.

For me, I will still wake up every autumnal Saturday morning and watch Gameday.  Just as I did before, except now I am the Father, and maybe my son will stake the same memories of Saturday mornings with his children for another 25 years, remembering what it was like when….


strike 2

Aisle Six, Next to the Sympathy Cards…

Living the sequel to Brewster’s Millions

Ahhhh New York City, where the upright mobile swine walk freely amongst the pimps and the C.H.U.D.S. – if you find yourself in the middle of this urban swamp – just say you are sophisticated millionaires from the Ozarks – that should buy you sometime to blend in, or so I’m told.

Wolves generally do not consider the opinions of sheep and yet all Jimmy Dolan has done is commit  a serious crime against nature by allowing himself to be taken down by sheep.  They say Jimmy Dolan is not a communist.  He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!

Dolan is nothing more than a chihuahua in pimps clothing and a bastard son of a father’s empire, acting as nothing more than a steward – ignoring the lighthouse, as the rocky shore draws closer.  That’s the thing about stewards isn’t it – they never posses the wherewithal to build anything of their own or how to lead.  They are merely plagiarists of someone else’s hard work.

The Knicks are not just his team, they are an heirloom to generations of long suffering basketball fans that play in the Mecca of the sport.  Fans grow weary of his shenanigans, and Jimmy with his ego larger than his stature, let’s his alligator mouth overload his jaybird ass.  Congratulations Jimmy, the hyenas are awake and its only 2:30pm, a few hours until sunset – you better have a good plan because everyone knows that when night falls, that’s when the crazies come out, and those coked-out-meth-heads, disguised as sheep, will be looking to rape the penguins along the duckboards of your sinking (owner)ship.

Here’s the email that was sent to Dolan:

Subject: I have been a knicks fan since 1952

At one stage I thought that you did a wonderful thing when you acquired EVERYTHING from your dad. However, since then it has been ALL DOWN HILL. Your working with Isaiah Thomas & everything else regarding the Knicks. Bringing on Phil Jackson was a positive beginning, but lowballing Steve Kerr was a DISGRACE to the knicks. The bottom line is that you merely continued to interfere with the franchise.

As a knicks fan for in excess of 60 years, I am utterly embarrassed by your dealings with the Knicks. Sell them so their fans can at least look forward to growing them in a positive direction Obviously, money IS NOT THE ONLY THING. You have done a lot of utterly STUPID business things with the franchise. Please NO MORE.

Respectfully,

[Aaron Bierman’s dad]

Dolan’s reply:

On Fri, Jan 23, 2015 at 8:15 PM, James Dolan <JDOLAN@cablevision.com> wrote:

Mr Bierman

You are a sad person. Why would anybody write such a hateful letter. I am.just guessing but ill bet your life is a mess and you are a hateful mess. What have you done that anyone would consider positive or nice. I am betting nothing. In fact ill bet you are negative force in everyone who comes in contact with you. You most likely have made your family miserable. Alcoholic maybe. I just celebrated my 21 year anniversary of sobriety. You should try it. Maybe it will help you become a person that folks would like to have around. In the mean while start rooting.for the Nets because the Knicks dont want you.

Respectfully

James Dolan


strike 3

A Fridge to Far

Trent Richardson, July 2015

Trent Richardson – my goodness, were you trying to gain weight to get on disability? Is that why you had trouble finding the hole? Does your girlfriend know you suffer from that condition? Is there treatment for that?  Keep it up and you’ll be known as the first round draft pick that now washes hisself with a rag-onna stick.  Your ass might get its own congressman.

How do you get out of shape, AND gain 25lbs, during the season?!  Remember when you claimed to the media that you did not have a weight problem and you were running extra sprints after practice?  You’re probably a sensitive guy and do not like the criticism and did not take getting benched too well.  You said it would be the last time, after being moved to 3rd string, behind Herron and some dude bagging groceries for the Bengals game; only to be benched again the next week in Denver.  Then followed up by a two game suspension from the team – how do you do that?  That’s like Josh Gordon getting popped for a drug test drinking alcohol.

Maybe you need a position change from Running Back to Left Out.  I bet the Colts cut you soon.  Suffering from the hurt, you will go to the nearest Long John Silver’s and eat all their shrimp and hush puppies.  They will have to close until they can restock.  Then in an effort to get back into the league you will work out with Jamarcus Russell and become addicted to Purple Drank.  No one signs you in the off-season.  So you start a detective agency from your van, solving mysteries.  You’ll wear your Sherlocky-Holmes hat solving crimes when you overhear someone snicker about how ridiculous you look.  Only to close down your agency and move back to Alabama, dunking Krispy Kremes into your Purple Drank watching old college re-runs – but Trent what will you do the rest of the 23.4 hrs remained in the day?