From deep down in the DiRT Canon bunker, sippin’ on margaritas during winter…abruptly shakin me from my murmur; a friend called me earlier this week and said he would bet almost ANYTHING on the Seahawks to win the Superbowl. He sounded like a lunatic and very excited – you could tell he had the fee-vah. So I asked him, “ANYTHING? How about giving me the Packers +15 this Sunday? Let’s just take it one game at a time.”
“15?!” he screamed, “That’s ridiculous! The spread is only -7.5, I would never give you +15. The Packers are playing on all cylinders right now, almost PERFECT football after what they did to Dallas. Don’t insult me!”
I laughed and made some drive-thru sounds and hung up the phone. I knew he was helpless, a junkie for gambling on the Seahawks at almost any price. So I decided to work him a bit. You knew he was calling back and soon.
Giving 15 points to the Packers and Aaron Rodgers WAS a bit steep, but it wasn’t crazy – the Packers are a good team but to beat the Seahawks at home, they will have to do something extraordinary. Winning in Seattle is never easy for visitors – weather is usually rotten, the field is terrible and the crowds are loud, consistently vicious and hostile. Some or all of those factors combined tend to intimidate, especially UNDERDOGS with no experience if a fabled arctic-downpour breaks out,
But so what, right? That is why the lord invented point-spreads. Because Seattle in January is so cruel, Vegas factors it into the spread…just as home teams automatically get 3, just for being there.
This is gonna be a Tall-walking-bitch of a game and the Packers have been good to me; so you wouldn’t want to generate any bad mojo or worse, karma – so I will bet them again on Sunday, along with the +7.5 – The winner will go on to the Superbowl and the fan-atics will feel suicidal, as always – Hell I might even lose, but why worry? Not even a super-gambler can win all the time. My own W-L figures are about 75% for the season. I can live with that anytime, so why not bet the UNDERDOGS on Sunday? It may not be entirely smart, but Im doing it anyway, gambling that both GB and INDY will at least beat the spread.
Im also betting on A-(f)Rod not winning the 3rd base job over Headley and that Boyhood wins best picture, because the swine that votes on these things have no idea what a GREAT movie is without injecting race/politics – It will not be Selma, because they already gave their prize to a black film last year – It will not be American Sniper because war is bad and Clint Eastwood is a Republican – It will not be The Grand Budapest Hotel, because come on, the honor WAS the nomination – Same as Whiplash – So throw money at the winner, like a corrupt elected official – may the best campaign win! For the rest of us we’ll just endure like moths in a blizzard!